Chapter 18 - Breakdown

"It was that easy?" Gene questioned, raising one of his eyebrows. He was leaning on my desk, his chin resting in the palm of his hand.

"Yeah, it sounds weird, right?" I responded, twiddling my fingers underneath the desk.

Gene but his lip and looked to the side, pondering on the idea. "It's not like some sort of holiday, is it?"

I hesitated for a few seconds before shaking my head and laughing weakly. "No. Why would you think that?"

As I was laughing, Gene's eyes locked on mine, trying to milk every emotion out of me. I stopped as a blush became apparent on my cheeks, causing the corner of Genes lips to rise slightly.

He completely ignored my question, his blue eyes focused on absorbing all information possible. I sat still, not able to tear my eyes away from his. They were entrancing me, gripping onto my soul, taking parts of it with them. I watched as his eyes glanced a few inches lower before locking back on mine.

Gene leaned back in his seat, clearing his throat while biting the inside of his cheek. I pushed away the heavy feeling in my chest and said goodbye to Gene when the bell rang.

•••

Throughout the day, I couldn't help but think about how much of a mistake I made. I shouldn't have invited Gene over, what was I thinking? On one hand, I wanted to spend my day alone wallowing into a corner. On the other, I wanted someone to comfort me, to be there with me while I mourned. I mean, what was the problem? He already knows about it?

I groaned, swinging my head back in frustration. All of my thoughts are messing with my head. I was having an internal battle with myself, debating whether or not I should lie to Gene and say that I'm suddenly have something to do after school or if I should just go with it.

"Little Dove, if you keep your head back like that you're going to get light headed."

Oh great. I lifted my head back up and sunk down into my seat, looking up at Gene only for him to still be avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, yeah, about tonight-"

"It's going to be fun. I already have snacks loaded in my bag along with a few movies I think you might like." Gene's eyes were bright, a smile creeping onto his face. He had to bite the corner of his lip so that it wouldn't widen.

I felt defeated by his elated expression, like someone just shot me in the gut with a paintball gun. Now, seeing him this happy, I have to go through with our plans.

Noticing my somewhat solemn expression, Gene's eyes narrowed at me, connecting with my gaze.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, examining my face carefully.

I smiled and nodded my head, "Yes. I'm just a little tired, but I can't wait to watch those movies!"

Gene tilted his head at me, taking my hand into his. "(Y/n), if you're not telling me something-"

"What are you talking about Gene?" I scoffed, "We're going to go have fun, spend a night together like real pals." I took my hand out of his and punched his shoulder playfully before picking up my bag from my chair.

"Pals?" Gene muttered softly, staring at his hand.

"Come on, Gene!" I whined, conjuring all of my energy to put on the best face I could. "We have to have enough time to watch all of those movies."

Gene shook his head before turning around and smiling at me. "Lead the way, Little Dove."

•••

While Gene was getting the movies ready in the living room, I was staring off into space, thoughts whirling in my mind, distracting me from my one objective for going into the kitchen: to make popcorn.

"Are you ready yet?" Gene hollered freeing me from my absent mental state. Luckily, the popcorn was already done cooking in the microwave, I just had to put it in a bowl.

"Just a second!" I called back, dumping the bag of popcorn in a large plastic bowl before retiring back to the living room. Glancing at the TV, my eyes widened when I realized that he was going to play (Favorite Movie).

"H-How did you-"

"I did some research," Gene smirked, answering my unfinished question before taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl I was holding.

I glared at him and mockingly took a handful for myself, rolling my eyes before staring at the screen.

To be honest, I wasn't paying attention to the movie at all, too caught up in my daydream to actually focus on the bright screen in front of me. Instead, I felt like I was falling into a black abyss, no light to be found, no sounds coming through.

I was jolted awake when I felt a smack on my arm, the sting causing my hairs to stand up.

"Ow! Gene what was that for?"

Pivoting my head towards him, I froze when I discovered that he was squinting at me, his mouth open in slight confusion. After a few moments, my cheeks start to burn, and I started to feel embarrassed under his stare. Why was he even staring at me in the first place? Maybe he recognized I wasn't paying attention to the movie. That doesn't mean he should slap me.

I figured in my place for a few seconds before I sprung out of my seat, desperate to get away from his stare.

"I'm going to make some more popcorn," I announced, trying to scurry around him but I, unfortunately didn't make it, Gene was fast to grab onto my arm, forcing me back in front of him.

"You've been acting off," Gene whispered. That's when I realized that the movie wasn't even playing anymore. I spun my head to look at the clock, figuring that I slept through the movie, but it turned out I didn't. Gene must have paused it. "Care to explain why?" Gene inquired, leaning forward.

I bit my lip and clenched my fist, not liking how cornered I was. Mentally, I apologized to all of the animals that I kept captive in a locked grip as a child, now knowing how they felt.

"Explain what?" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at myself, knowing that it was a stupid question to ask.

Gene scoffed and his eyes narrowed even more, trying to stare into my soul and yank the truth out of me. "Seriously, (Y/n)," Gene pleased, "I want to help you, please tell me."

"Who says I need help?" I blurted our before I even knew what I was going to say. Oh my Irene, this is why I hate myself sometimes.

"Why are you being so defensive?" Gene barked back, not taking a liking to my attitude.

I didn't respond, resorting to scanning my eyes around the room and twiddling my fingers. Even if I was being obvious, I knew I couldn't keep it from him the whole night.

"(Y/n), you know you can trust me," Gene said, letting his grip on my arm loosen.

I felt terrible for not telling him, and I felt worse that he looked hurt by it.

I locked my eyes with his, letting my frown show on my face, my arms going limp. I let all of the sorrow that I was repressing flood through my body, bringing water to my eyes.

"I-" I couldn't finish my sentence before I started bawling, my body shaking with my cries.

Gene was startled at first, but after a few seconds, he shot out of his seat and enveloped me in his arms, his warm, comforting arms.

The arms that I knew I would rely on for the rest of my life. The arms that I knew would comfort me when the demons neared. The arms that I knew would protect me and love me. Gene's warm, comforting arms.

•••

I promise it gets happier, but you have to get through the depressing stuff first.

Anyway, how are you all doing? I know it's been a while and I'm sorry for that. How have your exams been going? If you're not done taking them, I bet you're going to do great! I mean, at least you're literate or else you wouldn't be able to read this, right?

Haha, I hope you all have a wonderful week and I'm going to try to post the next chapter sooner, but it probably won't be until the end of this month because I have AP exams this week and next week and then I have an AP Literature paper due next week and my finals are in two weeks. :) but after that it's summer for me! (with the exception of summer reading and some ACTs)

If you all have anything you want to rant about, do it here because it seems like I go a great job at that.