CHAPTER SIX: OTIS

"i'd never leave you, buddy"

—

SHANE WALSH HAD BEEN NOTHING BUT KIND TO INDIANA, from the day she met him.

Eleven years later and she could still recall the first time she met him. Teary-eyed, clinging to a stuffed bear, and a big cut on her forearm that she was told to say was an accident.

He kneeled down in front of her, let Rick handle her parents and the reason for the domestic, and played pretend with the stuffed bear to make her laugh.

Shane had always been protective of her, too. Indiana supposed it stemmed from that first evening, when the connection formed between them began with ridding her of pain and brightening her life.

He'd dropped her off until she was seventeen, in the police car, so all the boys knew who her adopted father was.  Shane had her keep the door open when she had friends over — not that she ever had many — to ensure no one ever tried anything.

Shane was overprotective, but he had reason to be. With her history, it was only natural he wanted to keep the world from tainting her, from ruining the light in her eyes.

So, he encouraged her to collect stuffed animals and enjoy childish things. He didn't want her to grow up because she'd been forced to at such a young age.

And Shane had always been kind. Always put her happiness before her own. At macaroni and cheese for a month straight because it was her favorite food and baked chocolate chip cookies — with Lori's help — for her sixth-grade bake sale.

He was kind to Indiana.

And then he came back without Otis.

—

Indiana's head rested in Lori's lap as she lied between Rick and Lori, outside Carl's bedroom, waiting for Shane to return. Lori's hand gently ran through Indian's curls, the younger woman fighting sleep as exhaustion crept over her.

"He'll come back," Indie whispered sleepily. "He promised."

Rick's voice was solemn when he replied. "He never breaks a promise to you, Indie," he reached over and grabbed her hand. She squeezed it softly. "Carl'll be okay. So will Shane."

"I know," Indiana whispered again.

They had to be.

Carl coughed and the trio stumbled over each other in a rush to enter his room, all of them surrounding him. Lori moved to his right side, leaning down and smiling softly at his open eyes, Rick stood behind her, and Indiana kneeled right next to Lori.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Indina smiled tearfully.

Carl looked around nervously, but his face brightened when he saw Indiana.

"W-where are we?" He asked Lori.

"Hey, little man," Rick said gently, leaning over the women and grabbing Carl's hand. "That's Hershel."

"Like a Hershey bar," Indiana spoke up, Carl breathed out a laugh.

"You-you're okay?" He smiled softly, breathing rushed as his body compensated for the injury.

"Yeah, I am," Indiana smiled down at him. "I'd never leave you, buddy."

"What-what happened?" Carl asked, coughing.

"You had an accident," Rick said gently. "All right?"

"It-it hurts," Carl grimaced, eyes flickering to his stomach. "A lot."

"Oh, baby, I know," Lori nodded, fighting tears. "I know."

"You should have seen it," Carl looked at his mom and Indiana.

"Seen what?" Lori asked.

Carl's smile was soft when he answered. "The deer."

Indiana's heart soared at his words — he was still the same Carl he'd always been. Just as innocent. Just as kind.

"It was so pretty, Mom," his eyes moved to Indiana's. "Indie, you-you should've seen it. It was so close. I-I've never been..."

His words cut off when his eyes rolled back, and he started seizing. Lori moved to hold him, but Hershel stopped her.

"Don't," he ordered. "It's a seizure. If you hold him down, you could hurt him." He gently moved Carl to his side and Indiana whimpered, taking a step back and covering her mouth.

She hated seeing him like this. She'd do anything to swap places with him. He didn't deserve this — it was Carl.

"You can't stop it?" Lori asked in horror.

"He has to just go through it," Hershel relayed.

Rick pulled Lori to him and held her as she sobbed. Indiana trembled, fighting tears at seeing her brother in such pain. She stepped backward, only stopping when she hit the wall and kept her hand over her mouth to quiet the sobs that threatened to escape her.

She couldn't lose it.

She had to be strong.

She had to be strong.

The seizure stopped after what felt like hours, and Hershel leaned down, cupping Carl's face.

"His brain isn't getting enough blood," he informed them. "His pressure's bottoming. He needs another transfusion.

"Take mine!" Indiana blurted out. "All of it. I don't care."

Hershel's gaze was soft as it met hers. "If I take any more out of either of you," he looked to Rick, who opened his mouth to object, "your bodies could shut down. You could go into a coma or cardiac arrest."

"So?" Indiana inquired, stepping forward and offering her bandaged arm. "Do it. Carl's life is worth mine every time."

"You're wasting time," Rick added, glaring at Hershel, and offering his arm.

"No," Indiana put her hand over his. "Don't, Rick, he'll need you when he wakes up."

Rick looked at her, eyes soft and tearful. "Shane needs you."

"He'll be okay," Indie smiled softly. "With or without me, he's always had you." She offered her arm to Hershel, taking off her bandage. "Do it, Hershel, or I'll do it myself."

Hershel sighed, grabbing the proper equipment and walking over to her, grabbing her arm. "You're a brave girl," he remarked softly, meeting her gaze. "Carl's lucky to have someone like you."

"No," Indiana shook her head. "I'm lucky to have Carl."

—

When Indiana woke up, Shane was next to her, his hands wrapped around hers.

"Carl?" She asked quietly, blinking against the headache.

"Hey, lev," Shane smiled softly, tears in his eyes. He'd shaved his head. She didn't like it. He brushed back her hair softly. "How're you feeling?"

"Is Carl okay?"

"He's alright," Shane nodded, pressing a kiss to her hand. "He's okay. I got back just in time."

"You okay?" Indiana asked tearfully. "You hurt?"

"Nah," Shane shook his head. "Just worried for my girl. How're you feelin'?"

"Drained," Indiana admitted. Tears filled her gaze. "You came home."

"I promised you, didn't I?" He asked gently.

Indiana nodded. "Yeah, you did." She hesitated, then asked softly. "Otis okay?"

The change in Shane was immediate. He tensed, eyes darkening, face hardening, his hand gripping her own tightly as the other gently squeezed her face.

"He didn't make it back."

Indiana saddened. "I'm sorry if you saw it happened," she whispered, squeezing his hand. "When you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here."

Shane didn't respond for a moment before he softened. "I heard you tell Rick that Carl's life is worth more than yours? That true?"

Indiana looked at their hands, quiet.

"It's not true," he told her firmly, running his fingertips through her hair again. "You're my kid, Indie. No one's life is worth more than yours, you got that?"

At her small nod, his jaw tightened. "I want you to hear me straight, Indiana Walsh," his eyes were hard, but she knew it was the same protectiveness that had always been there. "There will be a million situations like this, now. This is the world we live in now. I don't ever wanna hear or see you put your life before someone else, got that?"

"But—"

"—No fuckin' buts," he shook his head. "You are what's important to me. I love Carl, I do," he squeezed her hand. "He is family, Rick is my family. But you are my kid. I'd let every single person in this group die if it meant you lived. You hear me?"

Indiana's eyes filled with tears. "I don't want that," she responded. "I'm not worth all of them, Shane, they're—"

"—They're not you," he cut her off. "I'll keep this group safe; I swear. But if it comes down to it, I'll always put you before them, you got that?"

Indiana nodded. She didn't admit it aloud, but they both knew. They'd always known. She didn't feel bad about Otis' death, not like she should.

Because Shane had come home.

And if it came down to it — she'd put him before them all, too.

—

"Good morning, Indiana," Hershel greeted her gently, taking her vitals and offering her some juice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Indie smiled tiredly. "How's Carl?"

"He's in and out of sleep, but he's in the clear. Surgery went well last night, and you are on bedrest until I say otherwise. Need to get your strength up. When Rick gets a few days to recover, I'll have him donate more blood." He chuckled softly. "Would you believe it that no one else in your group has your blood type but him?"

"God has a funny sense of humor," she retorted. He smiled in response.

"That was really brave what you did yesterday," he reiterated. "You went into cardiac arrest, you could've died."

"It'd been worth it," she replied firmly, watching as he put away his equipment. "He's my brother."

Hershel smiled gently at her words. "I hope my daughters have the same selfless tenacity that you do, Indie."

"Thanks, Hershel."

"Get some rest," he pat her head once before standing. "Oh, and Carol said she'd like to speak with you," he told her. "If you're up for it."

"Sure," Indiana nodded. "Send her in."

"Then rest," he looked at her pointedly before leaving the room.

Indiana didn't wait too long, wincing as she adjusted herself before Carol walked in the room, rushing to sit next to Indiana.

"I don't know how to thank you," she sniffled, grabbing Indiana's hand. "You saved my baby."

Indiana shrugged. "Anyone would've."

"But no one did," Carol replied. "Thank you will never be enough."

Indiana smiled gently. "Just keep her safe," she met Carol's eyes. "Train her to use a weapon. I know she's still a kid but she needs to defend herself. Someone might not always be there."

Carol nodded. "I will, I will," she sniffled again. "Do you need anything? Food, water, medicine?"

"Hershel took care of me," Indiana said softly. "I'm okay. Go be with Sophia, tell her I'm okay."

"I will," Carol nodded. "She won't stop talking about you. She's not one to bond with other people, so thank you."

"She's a good kid," Indiana said. "It's a privilege."

—

Shane was back, sitting next to her bedside with the Bible in his hands when Indiana awoke again.

"You believe this shit?" He asked her, scoffing softly and placing it down. "Hershel left it for you. Said a good prayer could heal you," he rolled his eyes. "Need rest and medicine. Not some God."

"It's his prerogative," Indiana countered softly. "Lori believes in God, and Rick to an extent."

"Yeah, well," Shane met her gaze and ran his fingers through her curls. "Where was God when you were a kid, huh?"

"He brought you me," she pointed out softly. "If he's real, he's done some good."

"And now?" He raised a hand. "Look at this shit-show."

"I still have you," Indiana said quietly. "That's all I can ask for."

He sighed heavily and nodded. "I guess that's true." He tapped her nose. "I'd be a fuckin' mess without you."

"Me too," Indie smiled. "How's Carl?"

"Stable," Shane answered, biting his lip. "Can I ask you somethin'?"

"'Course," Indiana nodded.

"Would you go with me?" He asked softly. "If I left, you'd come with me, right?"

"Like...leave everyone?" Indiana asked in confusion. "Rick and Carl and Lori and...Glenn, and...everyone?"

"Yeah," Shane nodded. "Just us. You, me, this new life. We can bring Glenn if you want to. He's a good kid."

"What about Carl?"

"Carl's got Rick," he looked away. "I did somethin'," he whispered, closing his eyes. "Indie, something real bad. I can't tell you what it is, but—"

"—I know you slept with Lori," Indiana cut him off gently. "Is that what this is?"

His eyes snapped to hers in confusion. "I...no, but...I didn't think you knew."

"I got a full view in the woods," Indiana grimaced. "I didn't sleep for three days."

"Shit," Shane ran a hand over his face and then over his shaved head.

"I hate that outfit," Indiana looked over the overalls and t-shirt he wore. "It looks ridiculous."

Shane let out a soft laugh. "It's Otis', or so they said. I thought I looked good."

Indiana snorted out a laugh. "You look so dumb, Dad."

Shane grinned down at her for a moment before his smile slowly fell. "I can't lose you, lev, I can't. Let's run away. Start a new life in this world."

"Can I think about it?" Indiana asked quietly.

"Yeah," Shane nodded, pressing a kiss to her head. "You and I leave together or not at all. It's your call, kid, but I'd prefer it if we leave."

"I'll let you know," she promised.

In the end, she'd always regret not leaving.

—

yayyy got some cute shanexindie scenes they make me sad because i really do love them together he's such a good dad for her. buuuuut it will only get worse from here LOL if you read my other books, you know i love some angst and it especially fits in this universe lmao sooooo enjoy the peace while y'all can.