(Trigger Warning-Suicide)
Connor rushed out the school doors and ran towards his house. Zoe would have already left without him anyways. He slowed down once he was far enough away from the school,looking back he thought he saw Evan chasing after him.He wiped the tears out of his eyes and noticed that nobody was there. Why would anybody want to be there for him?
    Once he walked into his house Connor heard Zoey lock her bedroom door and turn up her music. Connor grumbled and went into his room to hit a blunt.
    Connor couldn't quite remember what came next, it felt like a dream to him. He could only remember the bits that lead him up to this moment. He remembered screaming at Zoey and pounding on her door so he could take out all of her anger on her. Her screams still pounded in his ears.He remembered looking at the note Evan wrote about him,ignoring the said boy's texts and calls.
    Connor examined the note closer, he almost smiled at what Evan wrote. He sighed and grabbed a crumpled piece of lined paper from his bag. He almost rewrote the note entirely:
    Dear, Evan Hansen,
"Turns out today wasn't amazing after all.I mean,why the fuck would it be? I know I thought it was because there's you,and all you're hope is pinned on you and our relationship.Someone who you know but doesn't even know the real me.Would you even notice if I disappeared? No one probably would. I wish things were different. I wish I mattered to somebody.
"Sincerely, you're-"
He paused.
"Friend."
    Now here he was, sad fucking useless Connor Murphy on his deathbed. He decided to cut his wrists more then usual while overdosing on pills he had found in the medicine cabinet if that didn't work. He took a deep breath and took a handful off pills in his mouth. He stared at them for a moment while listening to the deafening sound of his phone going off.
    "Probably Evan wanting to end our friendship after what I did..." Connor took the pills in his mouth."I can take care of that." He thought to himself. He reached for a razor once all of the pills were gone. He ran the sink water and began to cut into his skin,father and longer cuts each time.
    Connor almost smiled when he put his wrists under the water. His vision blurred and he felt the life being drained out of him. It felt nice. All of the weight off his shoulders being lifted off his shoulders all at once.
    His final thoughts were Evan and what they could have been if Evan really cared for him. Maybe he would see Evan in the afterlife? Maybe if he could just see those blue eyes one more time he would forget his problems.He shrugged loosely and chuckled at how naïve he was being. It was to late anyways. Connor took his last deep breath and sunk to the floor.