WHAT IS UP MY CRANKY CREW! OK TODAY IS GOING TO BE A TOUCHY TOPIC SO IF YOU CAN NOT TAKE THIS PLEASE I REALLY DO LOVE YOU JUST SKIP THIS CHAPTER!!
ok so first off I have to apologize to all of my cranky crew for what I have done.. it's not pretty I can tell you that.. *sigh* I umm well let's start with school. Yeah I know CREW:"but but everyone hates school!" Yes but when I was bullied in Longfellow I played back all of the words they said and I would start tot think they are true.. I still do to this day..I relate to a yandare. I can't feel happy,sad,mad I couldn't when I was in Longfellow but ONE thing I could feel was
P-A-I-N so I grow up not knowing what to do. So I pushed it away and said to myself it wasn't worth the time and I am just one person out of MILLIONS that have problems. My sister would hang out with this guy and I really REALLY didn't like him so I told her and they guy I hated HIM and he didn't seem to care all he wanted to do was get my sister the only one I could trust. To get in bed with her. I could see the list in his eyes the way he licked his lips around her. He KNEW that I know what he was doing so he just ignored me. One day he gave me candy I was stupid so I said YELL YEAH! (Give me candy please ^_^)  but the next day I was so sick I could not stand. So HE texted her and they meet up at the park. I was so angry I got up /Almost falling each step/ and ran to the park holding back all the throw up and used all of the energy left in my body to get to her I looked all around and saw her talking to him. HE had is sleeve up and had ONE cut on his wrist making my sister feel bad for him. But little did she know he saw me over her shoulder and smirked at me! I was going to get him back I looked around for somthing or someone anything even a rock to use. But I saw Kaylas good guy friend that liked to give me piggy back rides (pwes give me a piggy back ride!🐷) And talking to me his name was tray and the other guys name was well I can't spell it but lets say Matt. I ran to tray amd told him all about matt. For the first time I felt sad,mad, in pain tray saw it in me and looked into my teary blue eyes and I saw latterly FLAMS in his eyes as Matt saw him Matt walked over to him. They both started to yell at each other then they fought. I saw some glass go flying towards my sister I couldn't stay up much longer my feet felt like 1000 pounds and each step felt like fire I was going to give out then and there but I had to save my sister and so I jumped knocking her over and I slide my knuckles (still have the scares today =_=) bleeding I passed out last thing I saw was Matt walking away and tray riding away on his bike I passed out but I whisperd "she is safe" my sister means the world to me I can't live without her!and even today like NOW I still can't. I wake up In my bed I look around relaxed but just for a few seconds when I hear my sister crying I jump off my bunk bed and land on the ground (didn't have a latter:-: ) and stayed in the hall way I saw my mother in the kitchen with my sister doing the dishes. My mother hit my sister I ran and yelled STOP! my mom knocked me on the ground and dragged me from the kitchen to my room she dragged me but by my hair I didn't cry nor scream I let her. My mother slammed the door I sat up looking down and thinking to myself "Just give up your a piece of shit that can even look after her sister" after that I shock it off and saw your sister in the room red puffy checks tear stained she crouched down and huged me. I was surprised then slowly huged back once in my life I felt somthing new...LOVE...and I really liked the feeling of being loved and loving them back when she let go it hurt she walked out of the room to do somthing but what was when my mother went to bed.(It feels like someone just punched my heart while writing this!) A few months passed and my mother wasn't here to greet us. I look out the windo to see a man tall has stubble for hair and for his Chen and above his lip. He looked to me Japanese wearing a gray and black striped shirt and tan shorts. I blacked out into a memory

                               MEMORY
It was a sunny day birds chirping and the blue sky looked like my eyes and the white puffy clouds looked as pretty as ever it rained that night so the left over droplets where on every flower the air smelled like wet concrete. That is my favorite smell in the world! I walked along new backpack and sparkly red shoes and a yellow shirt saying " My Sister Is The Best Sister! In rainbow letters. And red leggings. I held my mother's hand tight a smile on my fave and hers she walked me to school every day. It was my first day at school. Kindergarten. I looked at my mother with my big sparkling blue eyes she looked back at me with her brown we got there outside of the school I look at it worried expression. Mother: what's wrong paig sweety? She says sweetly Paig: Mom.. Mother:Yes paig sweeie? Paig: promise you'll never get a boyfriend or a man? Mother:*giggles* she sees me looking at her serious expression. Mother:*crouched down to my size And thoses to simple words I have remembered for my hole life! "I Promise!" I smiled and draged her into the school like the mist happiest person on the planet. All of the bullies, being alone, geting hurt all of thoses years I would no care all. Becuse when ever that would happen I would just think of that promise!
                  FLASH BACK OVER!
I open my eyes to see HIM hugging my mom I had tears in my eyes my sister looking at me worried she keep on asking what is wrong? But I didn't talk at all that day all I did was cry into my stuffed animal I got from my dad before my mother divorced him.. HE go in the house I thought maybe it's just a dream or a flash back. Or they could just be friends! I watch them a day they kiss "Maybe just a friendly kiss?" Then that night the went in her bed room I stayed up all night intel I heard somthing I would NEVER EVER WANT TO EVER hear...my mother moan and I hated it so much I can and throw up. I ran to my room and cryed and said before falling asleep "You Promised me" not a a few tears but a river of tears the next morning I felt nothing no emotion my eyes turned the slighted gray. All I felt was sad,depressed my pillow and plush was no joke socked with tears.. I was crying in my sleep. After a while I stopped talking eating I didn't want to breath one a girl that laughed and loved now a gray and gloomy person. After a few years I was still alive oy for my sister I played with my brother and smile somtimes. I loved my sister she would always talked to me she made me smile and laugh becuse we where two stupids and we where like Batman and Robin! Life was ok not bad still mother and bullies but otherwise it was pretty good but I wanted to run away because Tien was now living with us. Some years later tien kicked my older brother out! (I think I'm going to cry) I missed him so! I wanted to KILL tien!!! But of course I did not.. but I wanted to so bad I even had thoughts about how to! Sometime after we moved away from my hell and my best friend Stella. Grattt well sometime latter Kayla ran away again and again and again and each time she told me why we could always talk to each other we would defense each other! Like two pieces of a puzzle.. one day she showed me cuts all over he body. She said because of tray and his death I huged her becuse I didn't know how to help her. She then ran away and didn't come back..she didn't tell me.we where growing apart..my mother cought her and sent her to Montana I was heart broken I started cutting and each cut didn't even draw blood. I then up graded to a blade I was stupid so I did it on my wrist I hid it from my friends intel I lifted my hands in the air forgetting and my sweater sleeve fell down and she saw and confronted me about it. I felt bad so I did more but covers it better I always put my sister sweat shirt on it smelled like her and it had her school name on it. Her other on had Dee Dee on the back of it and on the front was Cheer Team! I hate cheer but it was hers.. so I wore it every day. All my friend found out about me and cutting and they started it felt like I was geting taped in a corner a dark on and my bloody eyed friends traping me yelling WHY at me. They had cuts on there faces and wrist everywhere I did what I always do cry. I upgraded to light cuts to drewing blood my other friends BG went through a suicide stage and I ironed him and..and I can not forgive myself for doing that he help me but when he needed me I did nothing like I always do!!(CRYING HARD RIGHT NOW!!) BG if you are reading this I'm sorry..but then after that I got a sharp blade from a Razer I broke and I cut deep nd it was on my thigh I have scares now and and.. my sister ran away a few mouths ago amd I still haven't seen her and now we are here I stoped but I REALLY want to cut I just feel as if I dont belong in this world.. there are just so many other people me home won't make a change.*sigh* crew sorry I just hate life right now but I just hope I can get through this! Maybe even with all of you! WELL I LOVE YOU ALL MY CREW STAY CRANKY!☸✳✴❇