So today we met this AMAZING guy. Manny Scott (if you have Insta FOLLOW HIM AT MANUEL SCOTT!!) he lived in Cali for a while. He's been through A LOT of shit in the 80's and 90's I suggest reading about him. He came and talked at the high school so we were bussed over to the high school along were the other 2 middle schools. We all went in, he introduced himself but in an unusual way. He didn't talk much about himself, he wanted to know us. We played a game. Stand up if you apply to the statement. He started with things like if you were a fan of spongebob we all stood up lol. Bob the builder we sang CAN WE FIX IT?! UES WE CAN!! Barney, we sang the I love you song XD if we use Instagram... My crush stood up... I HAVE TO FOLLOW HIM XD If Snapchat is better? I sat down, I use it but only to talk with friends. He was gonna say MySpace to be funny (if you don't know what it is you're either too young or never heard of social media till 2010) but he figured we never used it, which we didn't lol. And I found out I'm one of the only kids in the 8th grade out of 10 or less of us who actually like country music lol XD ...But then he changed to mood. He told no one should laugh, or make jokes. Keep it silent. He asked some questions (which I only remember a few. You'll see why):
If you've been raised by a single parent. I stood since I mentioned I only live with mom and my cat on here and I explained why.
If you've lost a family or friend to gang violence or drugs. I sat at 3, I've lost 2 to drugs.
If you've cried yourself to sleep. I stood up
If one or both parents are addicted to alcohol or drugs. My dad and the men on his side are all alcoholics except my cousins and brothers.
If a parent has abandoned you. If you've read a tag I did, you know my ex-step dad left me and mom and didn't care what happened to us. At this point I started to silently sob.
If you've ever been hit, or touched. I've been hit by people. Pushed down. Ex step dad hit me once and tried to choke me thinking it was a joke and wasn't pressing on my throat hard. He knew what he was doing.
If you've ever seen your mother get hit by a man. I stood
Keep standing if you were hit or touched trying to protect her. I stood for being hit. I also had threats on me
If you've ever cried yourself to sleep or cried in general, maybe not knowing why. I stood, I was crying on the way there and didn't know why.
If you've ever been so much in the dark, you've thought about hurting or killing yourself. I stood
During the thing he told us to look around. One of the schools (next to me isle wise) has the least people stand and had the least crying. The other school I couldn't see. But my school. We're now known for having the most sufferers. I was shocked at how many people. Whether I like them or not (which people I really just cannot stand. They didn't stand. They didn't have issues. Envy is a bad thing to have but I have to admit it, I envy them SO MUCH. It seems they truly are perfect. They don't have problems at home. They're good kids that'll make it somewhere good. They don't have to know what we went through, nor they may never will suffer. I envy that with all of my 13 years of suffering and existence...), have had this many problems. Even teachers stood. My language arts teacher and scary math teacher have told us a few times of their family. They didn't come from good families. My science teacher from last year, he had many issues too. The art teacher, math, social studies, science. They've suffered too, like us.
There were a few other questions, only 3 I didn't stand for and I forgot them. I forgot because I was crying so much. He told us we had 3 minutes to go find out friend(s) that have helped us whether they knew or not. I found my friend Emma and sobbed louder than everyone for the whole 3 minutes. Even when I went back to my seat I sobbed. Lots of others came around me and hugged me, rubbed my back, even teachers. At that moment. I got rid of a problem. I'd like to say now, I'm officially over the paranoia of my friends leaving me. I don't fear it, I know they'll always stay by me no matter what. Nothing can change that. I love my friends, I love all of you no matter what I say or think or feel. A lot of you have been here for me and I thank you all. And right now. I wanna give two VERY special shoutouts to my two best friends who have stuck around and talked to me when I felt absolutely like shit:
poorlydrawnturtle44 (Sarah)
Shadow_Dog_92 (Sammy)
Follow these two awesome and lovely ladies (aka mah bitches XD) ^~^ They're amazing!!❤️ Just like you all too! If you need anything, this goes for all of you reading this, if you need me I'm here.
Instagram: Congress_Gaming_INC
Snapchat: miathegamer216
If you're going through any of the stuff above or have gone through it like me. I'm so sorry for you. I wish all your problems could be solved and everything. Sadly we can't do much but trudge along. Keep going. It may be hard but look to the future, you have a full life ahead of you. Don't end your story here. Keep writing it, you're not done yet. That's what I tell myself. It's the reason I stay. So I can help others along my journey. Pick them up and help them get on the right track. Just like Manny Scott does. He could've killed himself. He could've kept up with gang life. But he didn't. He helped himself up and got on the right track. He has PhD's now. He's very smart. He has a wife and 3 kids now. He rewrote his story. Turned it around, and I'm gonna do the same. I have hopes and dreams. I let my past keep me down but not anymore. I may still fake a smile. I may still cry. But I'll keep going. For the sake of myself, my family (even if they don't accept me at times), friends, best friends, and ALL of you! My story isn't over. Not even death ends the story. It's just me rewriting another part of my story. I may not be able to flip the previous pages back, but that doesn't matter. What matters is what I'll write next. The next page, chapter, everything. So will you. I may not know about 99% of you irl but I see bright futures in front of you all! Brighter than the brightest light, brighter than the brightest star, brighter than the Big Bang itself. So bright it blinds everyone (isn't a good thing to blind people. But sunglasses and closing your eyes may help a bit... I hope "^~^) You're all facing and endless uphill climb. You have something to prove, you have nothing to loose. You won't face relentless, you're not wasting time. What is it like in your shoes? Notice something? No? Yes? Well, I managed to fit a Hamilton song reference XD Hamilton really is inspiring ^~^ And if there's a reason they seem to thrive when so many have died then goddamnit I'm willing to wait for it! I'm willing to wait for it... LIFE DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE, BETWEEN THE SINNERS (us lol) AND THE SAINTS (my grandma lol) IT TAKES, AND IT TAKES, AND IT TAKES AND WE KEEP LIVING ANYWAYS! WE RISE AND WE FALL AND WE BREAK AND WE MAKE OUR MISTAKES AND IF THERE'S A REASON I'M STILL ALIVE WHEN SO MANY HAVE DIED!! THEN I'M WILLING TO!!... Wait for it. Wait for it (Wait for it) Wait for it (Wait for it) Wait for it (Wait for it) Wait for it (Wait for it) Wait for it (Wait for it) Wait for it (Wait for it) Wait... You will wait too. I dunno how long. But in the end it all pays off so work as hard as you can and as Aaron Burr says, Wait For It.

Oh and a side story about this guy I can't stand. This one guy, we've never liked each other since the day we've met. Sarah knows who he is and my mom sadly knows his dad from work. So anyways, we all came back to the school, I was still crying a bit. This asshole saw me stand for A LOT of things during the thing and he didn't exactly stand for anything. He didn't really go though much. Anyway. I asked him to move so I can get to my locker. I asked nicely and added please. Manny told us to be careful about what we say to certain people. His response "Shut your bitch ass up *insert n word*" he didn't mean the last word in a racist way since he ain't which is the only good thing about him. But ooo it pushed me over the edge... "I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR CRAP! SHUT THE HELL UP!" My friend/acquaintance was also mad at him and she told me to keep yelling at him which I wanted to but I had to get to class and I didn't wanna put up with anymore of his shit, I was still crying and he only made me wanna cry more. And so he moved grumbling... asshole... he only cares about himself. Not bashing him, just stating facts, he only cares about him and no one else and it's been proven, trust me.