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FLASHBACK: SUMMER 2003. CORA, AGE 14

"So, you spot a really cute guy from across the room at a party, and the pleasure centre of your brain suddenly lights up. Do you ... A. Stay put until he finally chats with a mutual friend, and then make your first move ... B. Accidentally brush up against him, smile and introduce yourself ... or C. Stroll right over, introduce yourself and say 'need another drink?' while his is still full?"

From beneath the broad brim of her sun hat, Shiv pulled a face.

The girls were lying on two of the pool chairs, the sun beating down, dancing off the surface of the water like shards of crystal. Cora clutched the latest copy of Cosmo between her fingers, the pages sticking together from her sweaty thumbprints. As Shiv contemplated the question, the brunette fanned herself with the pages of the magazine.

"Hmm ... I guess C." Shiv paused. "But why does his cup have to be full?"

"Right," Cora replied, "like that's just dumb timing. But whatever, next one. After spending the evening deep in conversation with a new dud- god, who even says dude?"

A giggle loosened from Shiv's lips. Cora continued.

"Do you usually end up ... A. Leaning in first to give him a good night peck on the cheek."

"I'm not his mother." Shiv stuck out her tongue, making a gagging noise.

"B. Pulling him into the bathroom for a steamy make-out sesh."

"I'm not a slut either."

"Or ... C. Waiting for him to kiss you, then sending him a flirty text after you part ways." Cora finished, peeking above the sharp blade of the magazine's top.

Shiv let out a huffy sigh. "C. Always C. What even is this quiz about?"

"Are you Good Girl Hot or Bad Girl Hot?" Cora replied.

"And there's no way to ascertain which you are without making it about how you are around guys?" Shiv scoffed. "So dumb."

"Yeah, but I'm bored and I wanna know the answer," Cora mumbled. She was a little abashed. Shiv was always poking fun at how superficial her interests tended to be, which were fashion, magazines and Upper East tabloid gossip, all in that order.

"Of course you do, you love these kind of things." Shiv replied, giggling. "Fine, you can continue. What's the next one?"

"Most guys who've dated you would probably describe you as ... " Cora started began, falling silent as a shadow fell over her.

"A massive pain in the ass. Giant, throbbing. Just inescapable really." Chirped Roman's voice.

Cora felt the back of her pool chair tilting. She glanced upwards to see Shiv's older brother leaning against the wood, his dark hair unkempt, a cheeky grin parting his boyish features. Cora shifted, trying to straighten her posture while also looking relaxed. The result was a slightly pained expression, her legs awkward and stiff. The Cosmo shivered from the tightness of her grip.

Shiv scowled at the sound of her brother's voice, glancing over her shoulder at him. She lowered her sunglasses to shoot him an unmistakable scowl.

"It's a quiz for girls, Rome, the answers don't apply to you but thanks for trying."

"Any time, sis, any time." Roman smirked, moving to flop down in the spare chair on Cora's right side. She swallowed, clearing her throat.

"It's also not on the list, so ... " Cora muttered softly.

"What's the quiz topic?" Roman interjected.

"Good girl hot or bad girl hot." Shiv settled back in her chair. Roman gave a snort.

"Hate to break it to you Shiv, that would imply you were either of those things and sadly, you're not."

"Fuck off, Roman, don't be gross. I don't want to hear what your little snot nosed friends at St Andrews think about me."

"What? They thought the photos of you sleeping were positively charming, Shiv. You have a lot of character when you're snoring up a storm. I personally think we should just replace all the baby photos of you with ones where you're drooling on your pillow."

Shiv stuck up her middle finger at Roman, who only waved a hand in return. He turned to Cora then, who's cheeks matched the crimson pattern of roses on her one piece.

"Surprised that you manage to get any sleep."

"Sh-she doesn't snore very loud, it's just like ... Heavy breathing." Cora said with a shrug, trying her best to sound casual. Shiv made a noise of disagreement.

"Cordelia, you literally spend the first half of every night summoning Beelzebub." She interjected, narrowing her eyes. "And muttering Roman's name."

Cora was mortified, her mouth flying open. "I do not!" She sputtered. "Shiv, tell him I don't do that."

Shiv remained silent, letting her sunglasses fall back over her eyes. Cora shot her a look of annoyance, her skin itching as she felt the eyes of the boy beside her boring into her skull. She angled away from him, tossing her wavy dark hair over her shoulders before turning back to shoot Roman and sheepish grin.

"She's joking. I just sleep talk sometimes and it never means anything. It's all gibberish." She took a short inhale before continuing. "I think I was literally blabbering about Connor the other night."

"If it was about Connor, it was definitely nonsense." Roman shrugged. "Don't worry, some of the guys at St Andrews sleep talk, I've heard my fair share."

Cora breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he was giving her an out. Shiv promptly interrupted their conversation.

"What were the answers for the question?"

Cora blinked, remembering herself. She hurried to look back at the page. She screwed up her nose as she began to read. "Uh ... A. The closest they'll ever come to Angelina Jolie ... in her bicurious knife-play phase."

"Definitely that one." Roman said with a snort. "Emphasis on the knife-play."

"Next." By the tone of Shiv's voice, she had rolled her eyes.

"B. The craziest girl they've ever been with in bed whom they could still bring home to meet parents."

"Definitely not that one. Only way a guy would bring you to meet his parents is if they thought you were a science project to make the most humourless teenager." Roman interjected again.

"You'd know," Shiv muttered. "World's biggest pest."

Roman sucked in air sharply as though he'd been struck, clasping his chest. "Shit, I dunno how I'm recovering from that one, Shivmeister."

"Um ... Or C. The kind of woman they try to remain friends (without benefits) after breakup."

Shiv sighed. "C again."

"Remember when you went to summercamp and you tried to kiss that guy but instead you accidentally lit him on fire with your marshmallow stick? Did he ever try to keep in touch?"

"Kendall!" Shiv called out, craning her head over the back of the pool chair. "Can you remove him please? He's annoying us."

Further back in the Roy holiday home, something stirred. Cora hadn't seen Kendall since dinner the night before, but she could only assume he was studying for his final exams. For the most part, Kendall and Connor were both mysteries to her, her main point of contact were only the sports games and big dinner parties that Logan hosted.

Sometimes Kendall would quiz Shiv and Cora on their high school subjects and their experiences in boarding school out of curiosity, but during these conversations Cora remained tight-lipped, letting Shiv speak for her. Her experiences with Connor were even farther removed, and usually involved listening to a long-winded speech made by the eldest Roy sibling which Cora could barely comprehend. More often than not when that happened, Shiv would tug her sleeve and the two would slip from the room to rifle through Logan's expansive liquor collection while the adults were distracted.

"Roman," a raised voice from inside the house sounded, "stop bothering the girls."

Roman rolled his eyes. "You're just denying the truth here, Siobhan. Enlisting Kendall to do your dirty work is only proving my point. Unfortunately your diagnosis as a wet blanket stays."

"Better a wet blanket than a basket case." Shiv retorted.

Roman pouted, crossing his arms against his chest. His eyes settled on the lawn in front of them as he fiddled with the material of his shirt, crumpling the cotton between his fingers.

"Whatever, if I keep my mouth shut can I just sit here and listen? I'm bored, ok? Kendall's hogged the TV room to jack off over the economy, or whatever. Why is he even here? Isn't he meant to be in Mass?"

"Why are you asking me? I've been avoiding him since he accidentally found out about feminism." Shiv muttered, and Cora couldn't help but giggle. Shiv grinned, a flash of pearly white between coral lips. "He kept trying to hand me brochures about being pro-choice or whatever."

"Sounds about right. Unfortunately they don't hand out pamphlets for fascists at Harvard." Roman tapped the side of his nose. "At least, not openly."

"Oh shut up Rome." Shiv snipped, though she was starting to sound more relaxed.

"Do you think he's in, like, one of those secret societies they have at the Ivies?" Cora ventured to ask.

Roman eyed her from the corner of his eye, and Cora found herself daring to look at him.

She couldn't pinpoint when the crush on him had formed, but she knew for certain that she hadn't felt these butterflies last summer. She'd half-joked to herself that the baseball that had concussed her might have knocked something loose, but unironically it was her best working theory. Nothing had changed besides the obvious - they'd all gotten a little taller, a little pimplier, certainly more rebellious.

Internally, though, it was like a switch had been flicked. Suddenly everything surrounding Roman had become all gauzy and soft. When he looked at her, she became painfully aware of her existence in her own body. The feeling was as nauseating as it was addicting.

"Welp, given that he barely managed to get into a fraternity, I don't think so. Unless you can whine your way into one, then he's probably in all of them," Roman shrugged.

Cora fiddled with the strands of her hair. "Uh, I don't think you can."

"Very astute of you, Cordelia."

Astute? Was that compliment?

"How many more questions?" Shiv said, interrupting. Cora remembered herself clearing her throat. She brought the magazine upwards once more.

"Uh ... Two. Your most recent relationship ended, and now you're in dire need of action." Roman made a choked noise, as though holding back laughter. Cora paused, yet he neglected to add anything further. "You prepare for a night out by either ... A. Bronzing or waxing and then wearing a low-cut top and miniskirt ... B. Slipping on jeans, a tee and a waist-cinching belt or C. Putting on a dress that's comfy ... with, uh, alluring lingerie beneath."

Cora chewed on the inside of her mouth, squirming slightly as she spoke. Shiv gave a sigh.

"C."

"C." Cora repeated. "I guess the last question doesn't matter, huh?"

"What's it about?"

"Your ... celebrity icon."

"Mm, unless Lindsey Lohan's there, I'm not biting." She gave a yawn, rolling onto her stomach. She steadied her gaze on Cora, her eyebrows rising to float above her sunglasses. "What'd I get?"

Cora added the points for each answer together. "2, 0, 0, 1 ... A good girl, apparently."

Shiv snorted. "Yeah, because I'm not walking around with a whale tail and a carrot orange spray tan? Why don't they base these on things that actually matter?"

"Because they're dumb quizzes for seniors and college freshman with no personalities, Shiv, not squares who go to Exeter," Roman replied. He swung his legs to the side of the pool chair suddenly, bouncing to his feet. "I'm bored. Let's take the golf cart and instil the fear of death into one of the caddies."

"Fine, fine." Shiv muttered, straightening up. "First, you gotta go get Cora and I something to drink though. We've both earned it, putting up with your shit."

Roman obliged, disappearing into the house. Cora placed the magazine on the glass table that sat between their two pool chairs, giving her limbs a stretch.

She and Shiv were roughly the same height, but where age had started to soften Shiv's features, Cora remained awkward and angular. Her butterflies hadn't been the only change throughout the last year - the insecurity and jealousy had started slow and steady. She'd begun stuffing her bra with tissue paper as of late, but the one piece swimsuit she'd gotten at Macy's made the discrepancy obvious.

Shiv turned to her. She slid her glasses off with a swipe down the bridge of her nose, folding one of the arms while the other pressed against her bottom lip. Shiv squinted her eyes, tilting her head to the side. Cora felt a sinking feeling in her chest, steeling herself. She was used to this look, it was the one Shiv did whenever Cora said something stupid.

"It's obvious by the way, Cora." Shiv murmured after a beat. Cora could feel the sweat on her brow building. She nervously swiped the back of her hand against her forehead.

"What's obvious?" She replied, a little too quickly.

Shiv glanced away, toward the interior of the house. The large open plan kitchen spilled out onto the pool deck, but Roman was thankfully out of earshot. That wouldn't last forever. Thankfully, Shiv seemed to realise as much.

"Reel it back. Girl code. He's my brother, you're my best friend. I don't need to spell this out." She tossed her hat onto the pool chair as she spoke, shaking out her hair. Cora felt her jaw clenching. "Don't shit where you eat, and all that. It'd be weird, yeah? Plus, I mean I know you like me best, but you're friends with him too. So, like, keep it platonic."

Cora chewed on her bottom lip pensively. She knew Shiv was right, it was weird. She didn't want to have a crush on Roman, she didn't want to have a crush on anyone in fact. She wanted to spend her summer splashing in the pool and getting giggly on chardonnay and staying up late watching One Tree Hill. More than anything, she didn't want anything to change. She liked the way things were. She would do anything to keep the façade intact.

"Girl code." Cora repeated, nodding. With a flourish, she linked arms with Shiv, who in smug satisfaction. "Now, let's go terrify some caddies."