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𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

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"Congratulations. Or should I say condolescences?"

The sound of Stewy's voice jogged Cora from her thoughts. It felt like she had blinked at the board meeting was over. Cora was angled towards the windows, chewing on the end cap of a ballpoint pen. Outside the weather was beautiful, clear blue skies, sunlight streaming down onto the city. The brightness of the outside threw Waystar's offices into a contrasted din, it took her eyes a moment to adjust to the light above.

"Thank you." She replied with a tired smile. Cora had become a ghost and it was small relief to at least be acknowledged.

"You look exhausted, kid. Surely my presence isn't so damn draining." Stewy wore a devilish grin, but his dark eyes were soft. A hint of concern wore at his temples. "Come on. Get a coffee with me. We have some catching up to do I think."

Stewy reached out to help her upwards and Cora took it, allowing him to bare her weight briefly as she straightened up. He glanced down at her feet as she walked, her gait wary as she adjusted to the sweet ebb in her ankle.

"Have you had a little spill?" He asked as he held the door open for her.

"Mmhmm. Nothing I can't handle." Cora replied, feeling embarrassed. She didn't doubt that she looked quite different than how she had at Argestes. It felt like a lifetime away now. Yearning panged in her chest for those simpler times.

"I don't doubt it."

Outside the office was sparse, it was the weekend, the board meeting timed before they were to fly out to Italy for Caroline's wedding. Cora lingered in the open, her eyes scanning the glass walls of Roman's office, finding it vacant. Her teeth grazed her bottom lip.

When she turned back to Stewy, he was watching her cautiously. She wondered what he had heard through Kendall, if anything. Easily he could know nothing and still be concerned, her downfall so public that it would have been impossible to miss for anyone, much less a fellow board member. Something told her that his knowledge was not so superficial.

"Trouble in paradise?"

What paradise is this, was how she wanted to answer. Instead she shrugged. "You know how things can be. With them."

"Don't I ever?"

"Are you invited to the wedding?" She asked quickly, changing the topic as they made their way to the elevators. Stewy jammed the button a few times, shaking his head.

"I don't think I've had the pleasure of becoming well enough acquainted with Caroline Collingwood. But I'll miss the fireworks." He replied, grinning impishly. "Are you excited for an Italian summer?"

"Excited is a word." She replied as the steel doors slid open. Cora crossed the threshold and immediately leaned against the nearest wall. Stewy hit the ground floor button, his eyes grazing over her.

"You definitely seem it."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm peachy keen."

"Right, right."

They found a small coffee shop nearby, Stewy ordering as Cora leaned against the pole of a nearby parking sign. She folded her arms against her chest, her eyes trained on him but her mind elsewhere. Nearby a pair of 20 somethings were waiting for their own order, and the breeze carried snippets of their conversation. As she heard her name leave one of their mouths, she cast her eyes to the pavement, heat blooming on the skin of her neck. This was why she stayed indoors.

Stewy noticed her discomfort as he joined her side. He gave them a conspicuous nod and immediately they ceased their chattering. Stewy's hand brushed the sleeve of her shirt, squeezing her arm.

"Don't mind them. Blessed creatures with tiny lives."

"Ha." The sound of her voice was hollow. "You should be a poet."

"Honey, I already am." His tone was haughty, lips pulled into a smug grin. They exchanged a sideways glance and Cora felt herself giveway. "There you go. There's that smile. You're still capable of not being morose."

"Cheers."

It was a short walk to the park on Broadway, a small patch of green shaded by broad trees a little way past Trinity Church. As they passed by the church's adjacent graveyard, Stewy remarked "lucky fucks" under his breath, drawing a small chuckle from Cora.

She was glad for his presence, to spend time around someone who did not begrudge her on some level was a breath of fresh air. Even beyond the confines of Waystar, she had no friends - Violet hadn't returned her calls since the press released from the convention where she had been obliged to stand side by side with her fiancé, mere feet from a beaming Mencken. Cora did not blame her in the least, even as she stung with abandonment, this was her bed to sleep in.

In the past, this was why she had allowed her guard to slip around him, even as her feelings towards Kendall had drifted past the point of appropriate. She admired his ability to drift between aloofness and genuine care with ease, doubtlessly this was why he remained cordial with the Roys even after previous debacles. Cora wished she possessed the same ability, to not be hopelessly pulled into the mouth of conflict, but time had turned red flags to beige and she remained as foolish as she had as a child.

They settled onto a park bench and rested briefly in comfortable silence. Exhaustion melted her back into the wooden slats.

"So ... " Stewy said finally.

"So."

"So when are you going to tell me what's been going on?" He scratched his ear, angling towards her. "I've been polite but, well, can you blame me for getting impatient?"

Cora pursed her lips, at a loss for what to say.

"Don't be coy, Cordelia. You forget how much I've seen. If I was going to wring you out, I would've already." Stewy prompted, tapping the side of his nose. She had to admit, he had a point.

"I don't even know where to begin." Cora took a long gulp of coffee, gripping the cup between her hands. She ran cold these days, regardless of the temperature around her. "I ... I just kept thinking if I did one thing, maybe it would get me out of another thing and then it all ... spiralled. Everyone's angry at me but it's ... Not overt, like when you're disappointed that someone's let you down. It's resigned. Like they all just kind of ... expected it."

Stewy remained silent, in thought.

Cora found her gaze drifting to the park around them. It felt strange to do something as simple as sit and drink coffee with a friend, to become subsumed by the expanse of the city. Her universe had become so granular the moment she'd returned to the Roys, every action she made rippled outwards and inevitably bounced back.

Claustrophic was the best way to describe it. No wonder she had turned to the alcohol and the drugs so readily. In the aftershock, even those had stopped working. Now all she had was herself and the consequences of her actions.

"You know what I think you need?" Stewy said finally.

"I'm all ears."

"A holiday. A proper holiday. Buy a plane ticket to somewhere with a coastline, find a place with no soul in sight, throw your phone into the nearest body of water."

"I can't throw away my phone." Cora muttered, laughing with incredulity. "And I can't book a plane ticket."

"Why not?" Stewy replied, arching an eyebrow. "What's stopping you?"

Cora cleared her throat. "Well, the obvious. Board duties and whatever event Logan has set up and ... "

She let Roman's name go unsaid. Her eyes darted away as Stewy let out a wry chuckle.

"Fuck the board, Cora. Fuck the events. Fuck your fiance, well, you can't literally can you but you get my point. Screw it all. Tell them all to suck it and ride off into the sunset. Just for a little while."

He paused, lowering his voice. He had become loud enough to rouse a few stray glances from passers-by.

"It'll all be waiting for you when you're ready to come back. But right now you're not doing anyone favours, least of all yourself."

She let his words wash over her. Was it really that simple? Maybe he spoke the truth. What kept her tied to Waystar, to the Roys, to Roman, was her sense of responsibility to them. It was begrudging, but it was still there.

It could not be overlooked how much she relied on them. They had been the closest thing she had ever had to family. She felt tethered to them, the thought of cutting herself loose again made her skin crawl. The freedom she had had in her 20s was not a freedom she had liked. It had been lonely and directionless, acquiring bruised skin and little else.

Had she even been a real person without them? No was the answer that echoed back at her.

"I just thin-"

"I think that thinking is not your strong suit. And I mean that with all of the love in the world." Stewy replied.

He reached over and patted her softly on the shoulder. It was not lost on her how comforting the gesture was, and after the moment she had shared with Tom, it occurred to her that maybe it was time to start taking advice from people outside of the ninth circle.

"Alright." She replied with a nod as he pulled his hand away. "I'll consider it."

"Good. Consider it quickly." He smiled kindly, his eyes grazing her face. "Because it's starting to wear on you. Wouldn't want to permanently dull that shine."

"You're right." Cora replied, laughing. She hadn't been aware that she'd shone to begin with. "Now that would be a tragedy."

________

She had barely rounded one of the manicured hedges of the estate when a voice broke through the air.

"Darling! Oh! Heavens! You're a vision!"

Cora barely had a moment to react before Caroline practically bulldozed into her, grasping her by the shoulders with fervour. Cora's eyes pulled wide as she was hit with a wall of perfume, instantly light-headed. She laughed feebly as the other woman grinned empathically at her, looking her up and down.

Slowly the smile faltered on the older woman's lips.

Cora had never really known how to interact with Caroline. They had crossed paths fleetingly, when Cora had visited England with the Roys, a trip she had spent mostly glowering at her step-father as he joked too loudly after more than a few scotches, another during high school graduation but Reagan had died by then - Cora had been hardly friendly.

Her knowledge had been supplemented by Shiv, and it was a given that this had sullied Caroline to her.

"Oh, sweet Cordy. I haven't seen you outside of those horrid tabloids since you were young. It feels like only yesterday that I saw you in a cap and gown." She mused, eyes scouring what felt like every inch of her face. Cora tried to pull away but Caroline's grip was tight.

"You're looking really quite pale, darling. Are you getting enough sun? Vitamin D, my doctor was only just recently telling me how terribly important it is. We're all in short supply. And you're dreadfully- Oh, I shouldn't say, it's considered impolite these days to comment on a woman's body, isn't it? Very unfeminist of me, I apologise."

"I'm just a bit stressed." Cora said quickly, willing the other woman to stop. Couldn't she see that Cora was crawling in her own skin? But maybe Caroline wanted that, in fact she was becoming quickly convinced that it was entirely her intent.

"Go easy on her mom." Roman said, appearing at Cora's side.

He had lagged behind as the group had exited the vehicles, pulling Olivia aside to have a quick word. Frankly Cora had stopped trying to question why she was still around and instead had resigned herself to trying to block out her presence entirely.

Cora tried to catch his eye but he remained intently focused on his mother. She felt herself deflate.

"She doesn't have a drink in her yet."

"Oh, you're back on all of that rubbish, are you? You know alcohol dries out your skin, love, you should really think about cutting down. And it's very rough on the body, all of that junk." She paused, a grin climbing onto her lips. She had found Cora's hand. "And you have my ring now, do you?"

"W-would you like it back?" Cora blurted out.

"Oh no, it's quite alright. You keep that old thing, make sure you polish it plenty. The dust finds its way in the setting." Finally her hands dropped away and Cora all but sighed with relief. She was not out of the weeds yet, Caroline's gaze still sharp. "And you have plans, don't you both? A location? Somewhere on the Riviera, I always thought. No musty old castles, please I beg of you."

"I was thinking more sex dungeon vibes," Roman replied.

"Don't be a pest, Roman." Caroline replied, playfully swatting at his arm. He pulled away from her dramatically, his face contorting in horror.

"I would never, mother." He replied, shaking his head. "Perfect gentleman."

"We're not buying that, are we Cordelia?"

Again Cora impressed her gaze on him and again it went unanswered. Cora knew she had no one else to blame but herself. Any shrivel of warmth she had retained from her chance meeting with Stewy faded to embers.

"I suppose not," Cora mumbled.

"Calling me a liar. How cruel and unthinking," he said. "Oh well, I'll leave you ladies to it. Toodle loo!

Roman turned his back on the pair to head towards the sprawling villa, pausing in his path to greet Gerri. She stopped him in place with a hand to the shoulder. As they began to converse, Caroline spoke again, pulling Cora's attention away.

"It must be quite exciting, all of the attention."

"Oh, yeah. Completely," Cora replied. "Congratulations by the way. I should've said that before."

"I'm sure you have plenty on your mind." Caroline said, shaking her head as she glanced in Roman's direction. "I have to say, I'm glad things have happened the way they have. I've always worried about him, you know? But I know a good thing when I see it. He really was always quite smitten with you. I remember when you visited that one summer, he followed you and Shiv around like a lost puppy. Sensitive little thing, he hid it well. Still does. But mothers always know."

As she listened to Caroline speak, she couldn't help wondering if the woman had knowledge of the deal between Logan and her mother. It seemed entirely feasibly to her that Logan could have divulged the information to his ex-wife during the years. The thought gave an uncomfortable undertone to the conversation, and Cora felt herself fidgeting, ready to exit as quickly as she could.

" ... pick out a dress and I know an excellent catering company, truly the best and I think we could get a rather good deal o-"

"I might just have to go freshen up, if that's ok." Cora said quickly. She could see where this conversation was clearly headed and frankly she couldn't handle the headache. "I feel a little grubby after plane rides."

"Oh of course. He does clean that thing, doesn't he? Back in the 80s it was always getting all sorts of filth in the crevices. Cigarette ash on all the seats and the like." Caroline grinned, shaking her head. "But you'll find me again when the festivities start, won't you? I'd like to talk to you about something."

Cora already did not like the sound of that but she nodded politely in response. Caroline gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and freed her, wheeling around and making a noise of delight. As Cora made for a break, she heard the sound Kendall's voice behind her, pausing to glance over her shoulder.

Inexplicably he had shaved his head, it was the first thing that struck her as her eyes grazed his visage.

As he allowed his mother to hug him firmly, she saw his head tilt in her direction, his expression obscured by a pair of aviator shades. Cora's head snapped forward, slender shoulders hunching as she crossed her arms against her chest. No, she thought, not without at least a barrel of Italy's finest wine beneath her belt would she allow herself within a five foot radius of him.

After some direction she eventually found her room in the maze of the house, a moderately sized lodging with cream coloured walls and walnut antique furniture. Sadly it was only Roman's luggage that greeted her, sitting beside her own near the entrance. Finally alone, the ensuite did not tempt her, nor did the view from the nearby window where dappled light streamed through a polished pane of glass.

Cora threw herself onto the bed, pressing her head into the pillow and feeling the strain of the fabric against her breathing.

He hated her.

He wouldn't speak to her, wouldn't even look at her. Her skin itched with him so close at hand and yet he was miles away, flung from her reach. It felt impossible that she would ever hope to touch him again. Their proximity was conditional, and she knew it would remain that way if she truly were, as Kendall had so bluntly put it, to continue with the farce. She could already envision what lay ahead.

Loveless marriages were a dime a dozen in their world, she had felt these brittle edges all her life by way of the couples at her mother's dinner parties, had heard in passing the way that Logan and Frank's associates spoke of their wives. She would be given a perfect cage of ivory, where she would sit and count the hours between her waking moments and the time Roman arrived home - if he ever did, for she was sure he would do everything in his power to avoid her.

The other side of the bed would remain cold regardless, bedrooms on opposite ends of a penthouse in Manhattan. Children eventually, conceived in a sterile lab, born of C-section. Cora would hire a nanny to mind them while she quietly decayed in the drawing room, gulping mouthfuls of sherry and Lunesta to mourn what could have been.

With a sudden and violent fervour, she buried her face against the pillow and gripped its edges so hard that it cramped the muscles in her hands. She didn't care. Her guttural scream was barely muffled, throat growing rapidly hoarse as she channelled her agony into the fabric.

There was a knock at the door. Cora shot up, her body rigid. Quickly she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and cautiously paced forward.

It was Olivia who stood in the doorway, brown hair scooped into a messy low bun. Mousy strands kissed the tops of her shoulders. It startled Cora to see her dressed so casually in a soft blue tank top, the bottom tucked into a pair of airy cotton trousers. Olivia seemed equally stunned, her long lashes fluttering speedily.

"I-I was just passing by and I heard ... " She trailed off. Cora had drifted away from the door, kneading her brow as she turned her back. Softly Olivia closed the door.

A moment later and she felt the girl's hand on her shoulder. Cora wanted to swipe it away but found she had no strength. The scream had drained everything from her. Without a second thought, she turned and pulled Olivia into a desperate hug, clinging to as her body was wracked by a vicious sob.

Olivia's hand softly patted the back of her head.

"It's ok, it's alright." She said, her voice oddly soothing.

Gone was the timid and anxious energy she was so often saddled with. It only made Cora cry harder, at the thought she had ever judged the girl so harshly. Cora had killed her father, yet here Olivia was, showing her kindness when no one else would. God, she had been a bastard.

Eventually Cora pulled away, sniffling as she met Olivia's eyes. She trembled with the aftershocks of her tears.

"I'm sorry." Cora croaked. "I- dunno what's gotten into me."

Olivia looked at her knowingly. "A-are things not good? With Roman?"

Cora was thankful that she was playing ignorant, no doubt their tension was blatant to all around them. "Nothing's good."

"Oh, don't say that. No, things are good, oh no sorry, I don't want to invalidate your, um, your feelings. But, well, they can be good again. Things can always get better."

"I don't think so." Cora replied with a shake of her head. "I think this is just how it's always going to be."

"You don't know that." Olivia replied, firm yet kind. She seemed suddenly gripped by a thought. "Do you like the Beatles?"

"Wha- I mean, they're the Beatles. So ... Sure." Cora muttered.

"Well, when my dad died ... Oh, please don't cry again, it's fine it really is."

Olivia paused to pat her softly on the shoulder. Olivia led Cora by the hand to sit on the edge of the bed as she spoke.

"When my dad died, my mom was really devastated. The papers were so vicious, there was all this stuff that came out and she didn't take it well. Never got out of bed, always had the curtains drawn, she got so pale that I started to think she was just going to, well, just fade away completely."

Cora's hands folded in her lap as she listened pensively, trying to not to squirm as she was confronted with her own destruction. She forced herself to sit with the feeling, picking at her cuticles.

"I took piano lessons for a while, we had a big one, my dad loved it when I played. I didn't really know what to do with myself in those days. I just felt so helpless, like I couldn't do anything for her. I just started playing because I needed ... I need something to do with my hands. I played everything, I went through Bach and Chopin and then I started getting bored with the classics, I kinda just started inching forward in time."

Olivia's fingers moved in the air as she traced the contours of her memory. She pulled her hand into a loose fist.

"One night I woke up from a bad dream and the first thing I thought was 'here comes the sun'. It was like the words were stuck in my head on a loop. I didn't know where they came from. Maybe it was a parting gift from beyond the grave or something. I got up and went to the drawing room with my laptop, brought up a Youtube tutorial and played until my fingers hurt.

"And then the sun came up, like I blinked and it was morning. I heard the floorboards creak behind me and there she was, my mother. Apparently that was my dad's favourite song, she told me afterwards, not for a while though because nothing changes overnight. But ... It was a glimmer, you know? Just a little bit of hope."

"I'm sorry about your father." Cora said shakily. "I really am."

"I believe you." Olivia replied. "No truly, I do."

"Thank you for telling me that story." She closed her eyes. "I just don't know if I have your resilience. I'm so tired."

"Do you know how the song goes?" Olivia asked. Cora slowly shook her head. "Well maybe it's time you listen to it."