Newcastle, United Kingdom
December 1851

As Harry and Jane continued to meet with each other at that old cabin in the woods, they both began to realize just how difficult it would be to keep from succumbing to their passions. Harry had already known the struggle of having to restrain himself, and so, was accustomed to keeping his actions at bay. Jane, however, had never felt this way about anyone before. She didn't know why her body seemed to crave Harry's touch, nor did she know why she could hardly stand to be away from him. She wanted him in every way, and Harry knew it. That was what made it even harder for him to resist her.

Numerous times, they found themselves in the same position as the night that Thomas had left them, breathing hard and trying to control the wild thoughts that reigned over their minds. Both of them could feel it becoming more and more difficult to resist the intoxicating charms they each had over the other, so much so that one night, they decided that until they were married, they would not share another kiss between them. It was the only way either of them could think to ensure that they not cross that line. By that time, it was only a matter of three weeks before they could leave with Thomas, so they both decided that such a short period of time would be doable.

Instead, the two of them spent their evenings discussing their future together, as well as Jane's work in gathering information for them. She spent her days in Henry's study, as she was used to, and did her regular task of balancing the accounts by making sure that all the money was going where it should. Before, Jane hadn't really put much thought into who was on the receiving end of these payments, but as she began searching, she quickly came to see that a good portion of the wages that were paid were categorized under "services rendered." With the sparsity of the names and irregularity of the places within this category, Jane could only assume that these were the spies that worked for her grandfather.

It seemed likely to her that they were paid according to how useful they were, and in that arena, her father had been right. Most of the men, and even women, were living in either London or Newcastle, but there were some along the main roads and some further north. It became clear to Jane that Henry really did employ a vast number of people who might expose them, and much like a spider's web, Jane knew it would be only too easy to get caught up in it.

Jane had to be careful with these new discoveries, though. For some reason, James had taken it upon himself to pester her whenever he had free time. He would sit and watch her working, often asking her questions that made her worry about being alone with him. When she wouldn't succumb to his inquiries, he would become irritated and leave. Jane didn't mind his cruel and degrading words to her; in her mind, none of it mattered. All that mattered was that she gather enough information and keep it away from James's prying eyes.

To her relief, James was set to leave for London a few days before Christmas, so with him gone, she would finally be able to do her work in peace. After what seemed like forever, the day of James's departure arrived, and if Jane had to describe the occasion, she would have said it was one of the coldest days of her life. The temperature outside had dropped significantly, and the winds rushing down from the sea were violent and relentless. But the chill outside was little compared to ice cold glare that glowed in James's cool, grey eyes.

There was a moment when the two of them were alone for just a few minutes; however, neither one of them could have explained how or why it came about. Though she would not allow herself to say it aloud, Jane was glad to have this last experience with James. As she led him outside towards his carriage, Jane was nearly bursting with joy at the thought of never having to see the man on her arm ever again. Once he stepped inside that coach, James Hale would disappear from her life, so she was more than willing to lead him there.

James took notice of Jane's giddiness to have him leave, and though he was determined to resent her anyway, he could not help but take offense in her attitude towards him. He hated that he cared about her opinion, so in attempt to make up for the pained emotions that he was trying so hard to suppress, James hardened himself to Jane's bright smile and her charming behavior. It was all fake, and he hated it.

Thus, through narrowed eyes, James scoffed as he watched Jane curtsy politely to him, saying some silly line about how she hoped that he had a pleasant journey home and how she hoped his father would get well again. James bowed to her in response, simply for the benefit of the eyes that watched them, and thanked her stiffly before climbing into his vessel of salvation that would deliver him from that wretched place.

And then he was gone, on his way home, bitterly reflecting on all the time he had wasted listening to Henry's useless instruction. James had hated every moment of his time there in Newcastle, and he sincerely hoped never to have to return. Once he and Jane were married, he would forbid her from returning, and then maybe, he just might earn the hatred that she so evidently harbored against him. Laughing to himself at this admittedly childish plan of his, James felt content in knowing that if he did have to marry Jane Pelham, that he at least would hold the upper hand in their relationship. Until Jane decided to abandon what James had determined to be stubborn pride, he would use his power over her for his own amusement. He knew it was a cruel thing to do, but he couldn't help it. Jane had injured his pride, and with it, his rationality.

A lot of it had to do with her obvious disdain for him, but even more of it had to do with her apparent inclination towards Harry. If it were anyone else, James convinced himself that he wouldn't have cared, but because Jane clearly favored Harry, James took her slights against him much more seriously. It was a competition of sorts between them that neither of them had spoken of aloud, but it was undoubtedly there. And while James was losing to Harry, he could never let it go. Thus, Jane would always be caught up in their ridiculous, boyhood squabble, though she had no idea of what was going on in James's mind.

Harry, however, had become very familiar with James's jealousy during his time there in Newcastle. As they had been working alongside each other during the last few months, James had begun to notice that his dear friend had somewhat of an infatuation towards his future wife, and of course, being James, he made it a point to passive aggressively mention Jane to Harry as much as he could, so as to brag about his victory over him. Harry, though, could see through James's childish attempt to provoke him. He could see that James didn't want to be marrying Jane, perhaps as much as she didn't want to marry him, and that his intent in mentioning her was just evidence of his own need to feel like he had won.

But James wasn't the winner, and Harry was blissfully well aware of it. Jane had chosen Harry, and it was only a matter of time before James came to realize it in such a way that would leave him humiliated. It was for that reason that Harry put up with James and all of his ridiculous attempts to provoke him. Not only would James lose, but he would do so publicly, and at last, Harry would have some form of revenge against him. That wasn't his intent in running away with Jane, but James's embarrassment was definitely an unforeseen benefit that Harry didn't mind in the least. James deserved to know that he wasn't as great and powerful as he had come to believe, and Harry's romance with Jane just so happened to be a convenient means of achieving that.

Harry was glad to see James leaving on that mid-December morning, knowing in his heart that all the days of teasing and disrespectful comments that James would make had drawn to a close. And as Jane made her way back inside, Harry could see in her eyes that she was thinking the exact same thing. James Hale had all but disappeared from their world, and both Jane and Harry were thrilled by it.

The days without James there in Clumber Park passed by uneventfully. Harry was getting more one-on-one time with Henry, which ended up being a very good thing. He was learning more rapidly than he had before now that James was not there to slow him down.

Just as Harry appreciated this new accelerated pace, so too did Henry, who began to wonder whether he should take Harry on as a permanent employee. He was a quick learner and had an exceptional work ethic that set him apart from James or any of the other people that Henry had attempted to teach. It was refreshing to see such qualities in a man of Harry's age, but Henry just hoped that some of Harry's hard-working attitude would rub off on James. The boy needed help, and Henry had come to see that if he didn't start taking things seriously soon, that he would end up with no means to support himself or the family he was to be starting with Jane. Henry hoped that Jane's own knowledge of personal finance would be enough for them to survive; if not, well, Henry feared that Jane's marriage to James Hale would be utterly useless.

The marriage had been arranged to to ensure financial stability for both parties, but if James were to continue in his gambling and neglecting of his duties, then neither of them would gain in the alliance. Many times, Henry had spoken to James on this subject, urging him to grow up and do what needed to be done, but just as with his own father, James refused to listen. He was stubborn and didn't like change, nor did he intend on stepping up to face his responsibilities. He could hire someone to do his work for him; it was his opinion that that was what money was for.

But the time for worrying about James's poor work ethic was gone with him. There was nothing that Henry or Harry could do to fix his foolishness now, and with Christmas upon them, neither of them wished to think of it. It was a time of joy brought about by good food, family, and friends, and such amiable qualities were exactly what defined the Christmas of 1851.

Christmas morning arrived, and all of Janes's aunts, uncles, and cousins were there to share in it with her. She was thankful to have the time with them, seeing as how it would be her last among them. She cherished the time with her cousin William the most, seeing as how for many years, he truly had been her closest friend. She used to tell him everything, and he would return the favor, only now, there were so many things that Jane just couldn't tell him, though she wanted to. He would understand- she knew he would- but she also knew that telling him was dangerous and therefore not worth the risk.

Thus, Jane let herself forget about all the stress she had been feeling over the last few weeks, and she chose to spend the time as she would have any other Christmas. In the morning, she sat on the floor with her younger cousins, playing with them as they eagerly opened the presents that she passed out to them. Jane laughed along with them as they showed her their new toys, each one of them vying for their pretty cousin's attention.

Harry felt somewhat out of place there with Jane's family, but seeing as how he had nowhere else to be that morning, he was invited to join in on the festivities. He sat by himself for most of the day, so that the family need not feel like they needed to entertain him. But the truth was, Harry didn't need entertaining. He was content watching Jane and how happy she looked to be playing alongside the children. It was a sweet and truly joyful scene that Harry hoped to have with her in the years to come with their own children, the thought of which made him smile.

And while Harry was happy to watch Jane so at home with her family, he also felt overwhelmingly guilty in the fact that he was the one taking her away from it all. How could she willingly leave all of this behind when he had so little to offer her? He was the son of a French tutor with no title, and little inheritance; surely, that would never be enough for her.

And then again, as Harry watched Jane interact with her cousin William, he felt the pang of guilt singe his heart. Harry knew what William meant to her, and he couldn't fathom what should convince her to leave him behind. Harry thought too little of himself to fully understand all that he meant to her; therefore, while Jane spent Christmas Day amiably with her family, Harry's doubt continued to grow.

Was he asking too much of her? Was he stealing this life away from her? Would she resent him later for taking her from her family? Harry couldn't bear the thought of being the cause for her unhappiness; he would rather be alone than for her to have to sacrifice anything for him. Someone so good and caring shouldn't have to.

Harry knew in his heart that Jane running away had to do with so much more than him, but still, he struggled in finding the confidence that she seemed to have in their actions. In this story of theirs, he would be painted as the villain like Thomas had been, and he would be the one to blame should they fail. It was a scary thing that they were trying to do, and Harry felt as if he would not have the courage to go through with it- at least not on his own.

Harry needed Jane just as much as she needed him, if not more, and he longed to speak with her about their upcoming journey. Before they left, Harry wanted to be absolutely sure that he was doing the right thing, and only Jane could reassure him enough for him to make it through the coming weeks. A hard road lie ahead of them, and if Jane and Harry were to make it to their new life together, they would need to rely on each other now more than ever.

•••

Hey, guys! I just published a new story called "Insider," and I'd really love it if you'd check it out and tell me what you think!

Thanks for reading, babes! Ily❤️
-kate🖤