London, United Kingdom
April 1852

Crowds of people swarmed the platform, all speaking over each other and scrambling to reach their destination in a timely manner. Smoke billowed from the newly arrived train and rose to the station's glass ceiling, staining it with soot. As the locomotive reached a standstill, the breaks squealed in protest and the shrill whistle sounded overhead, alerting the passengers and the surrounding travellers that one journey had come to its end.

Jane, being of an elevated rank was allowed to leave first, stepping off of the train in a splendid black gown that resembled her aunt's. Lorraine met her there, at once taking Jane into her arms and thanking her for making such good time since being informed of Charles Hale's death. Hugging her aunt tightly in return, Jane assured her that the journey was pleasant before making an effort to give her condolences; however, Lorraine would hardly let her speak of her late brother before leading Jane towards their carriage.

Lorraine's unwillingness to hear Jane's attempt to pay her respects struck Jane as rather sad, for she knew that in her denial, Lorraine was likely trying to keep herself from surrendering to her grief. Lorraine wasn't apathetic to feeling as Jane had become, but she was dismissing her emotions for the sake of maintaining an image; that was something Jane could understand entirely. Thus, as Lorraine pestered Jane with questions in regards to her health, she answered willingly in hopes that she could provide the distraction that her aunt needed.

In truth, there was a lot to talk about in regards to things that had changed for Jane during her time alone in Derbyshire, so it was not difficult for her to find something to say. For one, Jane could finally eat again without immediately having to rush to the bathroom. Though she still felt nauseous most of the time, Jane was able to keep her food down, and that alone had made all the difference in her overall attitude and health. She was still exhausted nearly every waking moment; however, she found that once she did finally manage to get out of bed in the morning, she had far more energy than she had had in several weeks. The progress encouraged her greatly.

Jane was also encouraged by the fact that while she had been without the company of her husband, she had managed to find some contentment in living at Chatsworth House. As the days bled into spring, she had seen the estate begin to come alive with some semblance of summer. The brightness of the place did a great deal to lift her spirits, especially since she could enjoy it without fear of James interrupting her peace. She knew that such enjoyment would come to an end eventually, but still, in the moment, she treasured the feeling of her freedom and did not allow the impending future to change her improved mental health.

"You seem much better than the last time I saw you," Lorraine commented after hearing of all that Jane had done in her solitude. She attempted to smile at her niece, but both were well-aware that the smile did not even begin to reach her tired eyes.

Jane ached to speak words of comfort to her aunt, but she refrained, instead electing to answer her aunt's seemingly trivial observations. If Lorraine didn't want to speak of what so obviously tormented her, then Jane would not force her to do otherwise.

"I feel better. I think having some time to myself allowed me to find clarity of mind that I didn't have before." Jane smiled softly. "I've missed you, though."

Lorraine's eyes shone with tears despite her efforts to force them away. She hadn't really stopped crying since that dreadful evening of her brother's passing, but now with Jane, she tried to reign them in; Jane didn't need anymore stress on her than she already had.

"I've missed you, too." Lorraine cleared her throat and blinked several times to flush the excess moisture from her eyes. She hoped to speak of other things. "But I'm happy that the time alone did you some good. After the way James treated you when we left, I thought you really might need it."

Upon being reminded of how James had scarcely looked at her the day he had left, Jane's face fell. She hadn't been surprised by his actions, though still, she could not begin to push away how much he had hurt her. His refusal to speak with or even acknowledge her only further solidified in Jane's mind the fear she had been feeling for weeks: her child would grow up fatherless as she had. Hurt and angry that James should so thoughtlessly reject her, Jane had hardened herself further against him in hopes that she wouldn't have to think of him and his selfish manner of living. But now, she knew that her time of ignoring it was coming to an end.

"Yes," Jane admitted. "I so desperately want him to change, but I know that waiting for it will be useless. He doesn't want this."

"No, but perhaps he will." Lorraine reached across the carriage and grasped Jane's hand in hers, squeezing it gently. She was glad to speak of Jane's troubles as opposed to her own. "Regardless of what he chooses to do, you'll always have me."

Smiling, Jane thanked her aunt sincerely. She felt that she should be the one comforting Lorraine, not the other way around; thus, it touched Jane's heart to know that even in the face of her own pain, Lorraine set it aside to soothe hers. Such selflessness was truly rare, and so Jane, in hopes of being that same person for Lorraine, decided that she would serve her aunt in whatever ways she could during this time of mourning.

As a silence fell over the two of them, Jane set to asking a few questions so she could understand the nature of the following days.

"Forgive me for asking, but have all the arrangements been made?"

Lorraine wearily looked up into Jane's eyes, feeling her sadness melt away and give light to the anger she had experienced that morning after speaking with her nephew. It seemed that James was even more selfish than she had supposed him to be.

Lorraine shook her head, "No. James was supposed to have been doing it all, but I learned this morning that he hasn't done anything. Apparently, he is distraught, but in the most useless way imaginable." Lorraine sighed, bringing her hand up to her face and massaging her temples. "When we get back, I'm going to have to do everything myself."

"If you'd like, I can see to it." Jane smiled and hoped that Lorraine would allow her to do something to help. As much as she enjoyed her time alone in Derbyshire, Jane had become somewhat stir-crazy after the second week. But now, Jane felt that she could serve Lorraine, and the prospect of accomplishing such a thing made her feel useful.

Wide eyed, Lorraine shook her head, "Don't be silly, dear. It's too much work, and I would hate for you to exhaust yourself. Now more than ever, you need rest."

Jane couldn't help but laugh a little at Lorraine's changed treatment of her. Just because she was with child, that didn't mean Jane was incapable of doing things for others or herself; she would have thought that Lorraine understood that.

"I've rested quite long enough, I assure you," Jane replied earnestly. "Please, let me take some of the pressure off of you. I can't imagine having to attend to so many details at a time like this."

It seemed that this struck a nerve within Lorraine, and so after a little more convincing from Jane, she reluctantly consented to allow her niece to make all the necessary preparations for Charles Hale's funeral.

When they arrived at Devonshire House in London, Jane was surprised at how familiar the place felt to her. She had only spent the night there once on her wedding night, but still, she felt as if she belonged there for some reason. Perhaps it was the sense of ownership that she now had; after all, with Charles dead, James was now the Duke, and that meant Jane was his Duchess.

However, whatever feeling of belonging Jane may have felt melted away as she laid her eyes upon James striding towards her, or rather, towards the door. In an instant, all the stress she had felt prior to her time alone returned to her, and suddenly, she did not possess that sense of ease which Lorraine had seen in her at the train station just an hour ago. Perhaps she would have been able to maintain some semblance of confidence in James's presence had he not stiffened at the sight of her, but seeing his hateful glare suppressed whatever liveliness she had managed to build within herself during the last several days.

Despite the fact that Jane and her husband were not even on speaking terms, she would not forget the obligatory kindness she owed him in the face of his loss. As he came near, Jane bowed slightly, then forced her eyes to meet his as she delivered her sentiments in regards to his late father; however, James merely huffed and turned his face away, mumbling a half-hearted thanks before brushing past them.

But despite James's inclination to avoid conversation with the two of them, Lorraine was not so keen to let him leave so easily. Gripping his shoulder firmly, she dragged him back and nearly yelled at him, "Where on earth do you think you're going?"

"Out," he stated simply, unfazed by his aunt's firm hold on him. "I have business to attend to."

But Lorraine could see past James's lie. He had no business in London aside from that which concerned liquor, and so Lorraine was well aware that James was merely on his way to drink away his sorrows, whatever those sorrows might be. After all, for three days, that was all he had been doing, and given his unkempt appearance, Lorraine did not suppose that he was planning on changing his habits.

Even Jane, who had scarcely seen him in the course of that month, could tell that James was not at all well. His eyes were tinged red, which contrasted starkly against the dark circles that lie just beneath. His usually-styled, shiny black hair stuck up in all sorts of ways, while some lie matted against his forehead in clump of dried sweat. This in combination with the disheveled look of his clothes attested to how little James had been taking care of himself in the last few days, and given his determination to leave, it seemed that his condition was only about to worsen.

Rolling her eyes, Lorraine released James's arm and shook her head, "Go out if you'd like, but just know that you're embarrassing yourself by looking so bloody drunk all the time."

Jane watched in silence as Lorraine berated at him, carefully observing his reaction. His eyes, lifeless and empty, widened momentarily when Lorraine attacked him with her words, but he was quick to adapt a posture of untainted pride. Once again, he stiffened and puffed up his chest, holding his head high and refusing to hear any criticism against himself.

"I'm not drunk," James replied, smoothing his hair back and attempting to straighten his suit. "You always think that, but I'm not. I can hold my alcohol."

"You fool," Lorraine huffed, glancing at Jane, who seemed somewhat frightened. Upon seeing her apparent distress, Lorraine softened her expression and sighed, supposing that it might be better to let James alone so that Jane wouldn't have to deal with him. Tiredly, Lorraine waved him away. "Believe what you like, James, but I'm growing weary of your antics."

With that, Lorraine told Jane that she was going to lie down for a while, and so for the first time in nearly a month, Jane was left alone with her husband. She was disconcerted by the conversation that had just played out before her, and so she dared not ask any questions to further aggravate him. It was clear that Lorraine's words had impacted him in some way, and knowing the sometimes unruly nature of his relationship with his aunt, Jane supposed that James was not at all pleased by what she had said. Silently, Jane stared at the floor and hoped to concoct and excuse to be rid of her husband, though it was becoming increasingly difficult to do so as he stared at her.

Jane, unable to come up with anything better to say, reluctantly opened her mouth to tell him that she wished to find something to eat, but before she could speak, James interrupted her.

"I don't want to hear it from you, too," he said sharply.

Startled, Jane shook her head. "I wasn't going to say anything. I—"

"Nevermind." James dismissed her and turned to leave. "I'll be back later."

Confused and somewhat dejected, Jane watched as her husband left her alone, the heavy door shutting behind him with a loud echo throughout the great hall. Weeks ago, Jane would have been angry with James for his rudeness, but now, she could not bring herself to feel much of anything. He was evidently distressed about something, and she didn't feel that getting herself worked up about his behavior towards her would accomplish anything. After all, his father had died, and however much he claimed to have hated the man, Jane could see that his death had affected him more than he was letting on. But even in knowing that, there was no sense in doing anything about it; if James was determined to ruin himself, Jane wouldn't try to stop him. He had chosen his path, and he would travel it alone.

Not knowing what else to do, Jane hesitantly went further into the house intending to make the arrangements for Charles Hale's funeral. She met with Clement, the manager of the late Duke's affairs, and discussed with him the details that had yet to be decided by a member of the family. Thankful for the task, Jane drew up a list of things that were to be done by the end of the week, making decisions as they arose.

It seemed that Clement was appreciative of Jane's attentiveness, as he cared deeply for his late master and did not wish for the man's last impression on this earth to rest upon the shoulders of his uncaring son. Where James was prideful and selfish, Jane acted in such a way that reflected that bit of innocent humility that had been instilled in her since she was a little girl. She acted selflessly, and as Jane exhausted herself over the next several days, Clement and the other members of her household staff came to admire and respect their new mistress for all that she had done. In less than a week, Jane was able to earn the love of those around her.

While Jane's time in London was somewhat enjoyable to her, as the date of the funeral approached, James became more and more aware that his wife's willingness to serve had shamed him. Deep down he knew that he had shamed himself through his idleness, but still, the visible difference between the way in which his servants interacted with him versus his wife angered him. It was clear that they served her out of love rather than duty, the reality of which frustrated him and drove him even farther away from her. He didn't want to see Jane, and so for the duration of her stay there in London, James was determined only to see her when absolutely necessary. She represented too much change in his life for him to face; thus, in his cowardice and irritation, James retreated even further into himself, hoping to ignore the unpleasant and even frightening emotions that had arisen within him in the wake of his father's death.

•••

I know this chapter is a bit slow, but the next one, shit's going down so be patient pls thank you

Thanks for reading y'all! Ily💖💖
-kate💖