Newcastle, United Kingdom
October 1851

Jane listened intently to her uncle Andrew as he told her the story of her parents. She had never before heard this version, so needless to say, she was entirely engrossed in every detail that Andrew was able to relay to her.

Jane's father was French, which meant she was French, and though it was a small and seemingly unimportant detail, it nonetheless made Jane feel like her whole life had been a lie. And not only that, but her mother and father had run away together, directly against the will of her grandparents. Jane now understood why the topic of of her parents had always been so quickly dismissed whenever it was mentioned. Her mother's actions certainly would have brought shame upon the Pelham name had they been discovered, and though Jane had been exhibiting an increased desire for adventure as of late, she could not help but disapprove of her parents' behavior.

Jane was overwhelmed by all of this new information, but she still lacked one vital piece of the story that explained why she had been led to believe that her father was dead when he really wasn't. What could have happened following her mother's departure to inspire her grandparents to lie so diligently to her for so long? If Jane's parents had ended up together in the end, then why was she now an orphan? Why was she not at least under her own father's protection? Did he not want her after the death of her mother? If that was the case, then why was he reaching out to her now? Jane didn't know the answers to any of these questions, but she intended to find out as much as she could from her uncle. She had a feeling that it was now or never with him, so she had to act quickly.

"They ran away, then?"Jane asked quietly, her eyes cast down to her hands. Her uncle nodded in confirmation, so she continued in her inquiry. "What happened after that? Why isn't my father here if he's alive?"

Andrew frowned and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He looked unsure of what he was about to say, and it became clear to Jane that Andrew just might not know everything about this story. "What I have told you up until now is what I am certain of, but concerning anything beyond that time frame, I do not know much. I know all that I do from my own experience and also from what Victoria's diary has detailed, but after she ran away, I cannot speak to the life she shared with your father." Andrew sighed deeply and turned to his son who was still standing by the window, "William, would you leave us for a moment?"

William began to protest, but one pleading look from Jane silenced him, and he was quick to leave the room. When the door closed, Andrew faced his niece and once more began to speak. "Jane, the reason your father has been gone all this time is because he never married my sister. That was why your grandfather saw it fit to–" Her uncle paused, inclining his ear in the direction of the door. There was a ruckus outside that was followed by the sound of heavy, purposeful footsteps, and Jane knew immediately that her time was up.

The door flew open moments later, and in walked a very angry-looking Ms. Hill. Jane's governess stormed into the room rather heatedly and addressed her directly, ignoring the fact that the master of the house sat just across from her.

"Where have you been, young lady?" Ms. Hill screeched at Jane, but she genuinely couldn't care less about the angry woman standing in front of her. How could she when she just learned such an important piece of information?

Jane's parents never married, and if that were true, then Jane was a bastard– a fatherless contradiction to the morality that the law so adamantly enforced. Though it couldn't possibly have anything to with her own actions, this new knowledge filled Jane with a sense of shame and inferiority. Whether it was reflected in her actions or not, Jane could never be the high-born lady she had been raised to become. Her blood could not allow it. It was then that she realized something. If Jane was an illegitimate child, then there was no way James Hale would ever consent to marrying her. Such a union would bring embarrassment upon he and his family if the truth were ever known to the world, and Jane had a feeling that James would not be willing to take that risk. Jane was admittedly embarrassed by the reality of her blood-status, but she was also encouraged by it. This was her way out, and it had been handed to her just in time.

Turning her attention to the screaming woman who was still scolding her for her morning disappearance, Jane smiled sweetly and gracefully rose from her seat across from her uncle. She approached Ms. Smith with such regal confidence that the woman slowly fell silent in anticipation of Jane's words. She felt powerful in that moment, like maybe just for once, she held the cards that would determine her fate. But not yet. Jane decided that she would keep her newfound identity to herself, that way she might use it most effectively.

"I told Her Grace yesterday morning that I would be out riding with William, and she consented," Jane stated calmly, looking down at the small, angry woman in front of her.

Ms. Smith struggled to find the words for a moment, but she eventually was able to relay her thoughts with the same level of anger as before. "It doesn't matter. James has requested to dine with you, and you must come home immediately. The carriage is waiting outside."

Jane thought for a moment and ultimately decided that there was no way she could endure such a lengthy carriage ride with that dreadful woman; thus, she looked to her cousin William who stood in the doorway. With one pleading look from Jane, he nodded towards her in understanding and wordlessly left the room to fetch Jane's horse. Jane smiled at her cousin's thoughtfulness, but she suddenly became aware of the fact that she would have to stall with Ms. Smith if she were to have her way of riding back alone.

"I will return home, but I must finish the conversation that you so rudely interrupted." With that, Jane turned on her heel and resumed her seat across from her rather surprised-looking uncle. Ms. Hill opened her mouth to speak, but Jane flashed her a rather severe glance that silenced her. "I will meet you outside in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes, and not a minute more." Ms. Hill conceded rather easily, mostly due to the fact that she had never seen this kind of attitude from Jane before. The girl had gained confidence in the past few weeks; however, this was beyond her usual level of defiance.

Jane watched contently as her governess left the room, and she couldn't help but grin at how Andrew appeared to be stifling a laugh. "You're more like your mother than I gave you credit for." Andrew smiled and leaned back in his chair, a pleasant and lively expression painted across his face.

"I hope that's a good thing," Jane blushed, looking down to her hands as her fingers ran along the fabric of her skirts.

"It is," Andrew confirmed with a curt nod. "My sister made some questionable decisions, but she was a force of nature, and I truly believe that she did not regret any of her actions, save for one." A silence fell over them for just a moment, and Andrew began to wish he hadn't added that last bit of his comment. Meanwhile, Jane was entirely consumed with the desire to ask him about it. However, Jane decided that there was not enough time for that conservation, so she would refrain for pursuing her curiosity.

She would, however, express her gratitude towards her uncle for his candor. After eighteen years of lies and uncertainty, Jane finally felt as if she were connected to her own past as well as her mother's. Her parents' story was no longer a mystery to her, and for the first time, Jane felt like she was receiving a glimpse of her own identity. The fact that all this had been hidden from her for so long upset her greatly, but she knew that there was no use in dwelling on the anger she felt now. The truth had at long last been made known to her, and she owed that pleasure to her uncle. Andrew risked facing the wrath of his parents by telling her all that he did, and Jane knew that this was no small service. Their family, her grandmother especially, could be a cruel people when their own laws were not obeyed; therefore, Jane felt it to be an offense if she were to leave her uncle without having thanked him.

Focusing her attention on Andrew's face, Jane smiled and leaned forward slightly to speak in a slightly softer tone of voice so that no should overhear from outside the room. "I can't thank you enough for all this. You have no idea what it means to me."

Smiling sadly, Andrew observed Jane's glistening eyes and moved to sit beside her. He took her hand gently between his and looked earnestly into her clear, blue eyes. "My dear, don't thank me for telling you what you should have known all along." Andrew paused, glancing back at the door in a sudden rush of anxiety. He then returned his attention to Jane's pretty, youthful face. "I want you to be careful about how you choose to go about this," he advised lowly, his voice filled with a sense of urgency that inspired Jane to shudder. "Your father is a good man, Jane, but given my mother's opinion of him, having him here in Newcastle is a dangerous business in which you need not involve yourself."

Jane was confused. Cocking her head to the side, Jane furrowed her brows and spoke softly. "I don't understand. If he is a free man, then how could they hurt him?"

"He's not free," Andrew frowned, thoughtfully considering the past. "Not here, at least."

"But why?" Jane pressed him, but she could see that he had no desire to answer her.

Andrew glanced towards the door again and sighed heavily, shutting his eyes for just a moment before addressing Jane once again. "Jane, it's easy for us to forget just how powerful Henry is, but it is essential, now more than ever, that you don't forget it. As he is the reigning Duke of this region, he has full control over the courts here. It was his decision to banish your father, and because of his station, this decision has been strictly enforced for eighteen years. He has people everywhere, and your father does not stand a chance against him."

Jane felt a pressure building up in her chest, and she knew what was coming. Tears began to well up in her eyes, and at the same time, she felt it becoming more difficult to breathe. She hated crying, and she hadn't expected to do it here, but she supposed that learning about her family's schemes was a good enough reason for it.

Jane could handle the secrets being kept from her, but one thing she could not forgive was the fact that her family had been exercising their power to keep her father out of her life. Whatever sins her father may have committed, surely none of them warranted this kind of action. What kind of people would intentionally keep a man from his own child? And more selfishly, Jane wondered what kind of people would consciously alter the circumstances so that their own granddaughter should grow up as an orphan. The Pelham family was cruel, and Jane had known this, but until now, she hadn't realized that the cruelty had been exercised upon her.

In that moment, Jane felt hot, angry tears begin to fill her eyes, and she made no effort to hide them. She had believed at one point that her grandparents, despite their harsh demeanors, at least had her own  wellbeing at the forefront of their minds whenever decisions regarding her life were made. Jane had begun to question it with her betrothal to James, but now she was certain that she meant nothing to them. They had wronged her beyond reconciliation, and she hated them for it.

Up until then, Jane had only dabbled in resisting the will her family set upon her, but now, she was determined that the time for childish games had passed. This was Jane's war now, and by God, she was determined to emerge victorious with her father by her side. But she had to be subtle, lest her plan should be discovered.

Inspired by her conviction to pave her own way, Jane suppressed the feelings of burning rage that were beginning to consume her like a hungry flame. She brushed the tears from her eyes and forced a smile as she looked upon her uncle's sympathetic face. "I'll be careful," she promised him, hiding her true feelings from him. He may be her favorite uncle, but this was an occasion in which she could not risk the possibility of his betrayal. "I don't even think I'll respond to the letter."

Andrew nodded in approval, "I think that might be your wisest course of action." He squeezed her hand, "I wish things were different for you, I do, but the circumstances make your reunion with him impossible."

Jane felt a pang in her chest at Andrew's words, her anger pressing against the imaginary gates she had set in place to contain it. Impossibilities were the last thing she wanted to discuss.

"I understand," Jane said simply, though this was a lie. She didn't understand, and she most certainly didn't intend to give up so easily. She would write to her father immediately, and hopefully, Harry could deliver it on her behalf. "I must go now; I believe my ten minutes is up."

Jane rose from her seat, and her uncle accompanied her, leading her out to the front of the house where Ms. Smith was awaiting her in the carriage. As Jane descended the long, stone staircase that led to the drive, she caught sight of William approaching with her mare, so she went to meet him. Neither Andrew nor the governess moved to stop her, seeing as how she appeared to be bidding him a farewell.

Jane smiled at her cousin, despite the tears that still stung her eyes. "Thank you, William. I owe you one.

William frowned, noticing how upset she appeared to be. "Will you tell me what he told you?"

Jane considered for a moment and sighed tiredly, "Not today, but I will."

Content with this answer, William pressed the reigns into Jane's palm with a mischievous smile. "I'll hold you to that, cousin. Until then, you're going to have to mount Bella faster than you ever have before if you're going to get away with this."

"I know," Jane laughed breathily, glancing to her uncle still standing on the stairs. "Will you help me? This dress is stupid; I wish I could just wear trousers like you."

William laughed with a genuine smile, "Of course you do. But yes, I'll help you." He lowered his voice. "Put your foot in the stirrup, and I'll lift you. Be prepared to run immediately."

Jane nodded, and with a deep breath, she followed her cousin's instructions. In a matter of moments, Jane sat astride her mare and was off towards the open plains. She didn't know what kind of reaction was inspired by her departure, but she knew that Ms. Hill would not be happy. The woman was a nuisance at the best of times, but when Jane disobeyed, Ms. Smith became an intolerable fiend. But Jane didn't care about what Ms. Smith would say to her, nor did she even care what her grandmother would say. She was not a lady, not anymore.

Everything that her uncle had told her plagued her mind, and soon enough, Jane began to cry without restraint. Her whole existence had been a falsehood. She was not the daughter of a noble Englishman. Her whole family had been lying to her for years, and had it not been for her father's letter, the lies probably would have never come to an end. Jane was alone, and she felt the truth of it as she made her way through the land of her family's estate.

After traveling a sizable distance such that her governess had no hope of intercepting her, Jane prompted her loyal companion to a halt where she allowed herself to weep openly in the stillness of nature. As she sat there atop her horse at the edge of a vast forest, Jane's tears came with a persistence that she could not interrupt. She tried to wipe them away, but this was useless as they would be replaced with fresh tears a moment later. Conceding to the weight she felt upon her shoulders, Jane bent forward and cried into her mare's mane, the sobs wracking her body with such violence that she feared falling to the ground. She held tightly to the horse's neck as the evidence of her sadness and frustration began to soak the animal's sleek coat of fur, the sight of which would have been pitiful to behold.

A low rumble reverberated through the mid-morning sky, but Jane paid it no heed as she remained in her position of weakness and surrender. She was at the mercy of her own emotions, and as such, she could not move. Her muscles were stiff, and her chest ached with the pain of her family's betrayal. She wanted to scream to release all the pent-up feelings she had repressed in the presence of her uncle, but she refrained for fear of spooking the horse. Despite her determination earlier to somehow sculpt her own future, she was unapologetically broken in that moment, for she knew that once she returned to the great house of Clumber Park, there would be no time or place for such weakness. Jane would have to be just as strong and unyielding as the stone walls that would entrap her, but for now, she allowed herself the necessity of crying in peace.

It thundered again, this time with more aggression than before. At this, Jane perked up in her seat and observed the changing world around her. The chill of that morning had returned with the clouds which loomed overhead like great, big vessels filled with water. The air felt heavy around her, and the darkening sky above her made Jane fully aware of the storm that was about to hit. With the impending weather, Jane urged her mare into an easy trot before escalating into a hard-pressed gallop. There was no way she could escape the storm, that much was obvious, but Jane hoped that she could at least shorten the duration of time during which she spent in the rain.

The winds howled about Jane as she flew through the English country, and she could sense whatever force that held back the rain was about to give way above her. Small droplets began to fall from the sky, biting at Jane's cheeks as she persisted through the fields with a quick yet maintainable speed. The thunder continued, and soon enough, the blackened sky above became littered with bolts of lightning; that was when the downpour began.

Jane tried to ride through it, but in the end, she just couldn't see far enough in front of her to ride on a spooked horse. Sighing in defeat, Jane slipped from her mare's back and began the walk through the pouring rain. Her clothing was soaked through in a matter of minutes as she guided them both back towards the towering mansion. It took nearly half an hour for Jane to come across the familiar path that led up to the barn, but even then, she knew that there was a long walk ahead of them.

After a while, the rain began to let up, and Jane felt comfortable enough to ride the rest of the way back. Mounting her mare with some difficulty due to the heavy, soaking skirts of her riding habit, Jane was finally back on track to the barn. In the distance behind her, she saw a carriage heading in the same direction, and suddenly, Jane was plagued with a sensation of fear that left her feeling ashamed. She had pledged to herself no less than an hour ago that she would no longer be afraid to fight for herself, but now, with Ms. Smith on her heels, she could not help but experience immense dread of the encounter that had yet to take place between them.

By the time she reached the barn, Jane was exhausted and wet, but she nonetheless began to unsaddle Bella with swift and evidently nervous motions that distracted her from the panic that infiltrated her body. Jane hated that this feeling that plagued her, but after eighteen years of being conditioned to fear those in authority above her, it was hard not to indulge the habit. Jane considered just spending the rest of the day in the barn to avoid the meeting altogether, but she knew that delaying the inevitable encounter with her grandmother would only make things worse for her.

Frantically, Jane finished her work on Bella and led her into the stall where she laid down fresh hay and filled the trough with water. After shutting the door to the stall, Jane lifted the heavy saddle from the floor to return it to its place by the wall. She had just reached the large chest in which the saddle belonged when a cough sounded loudly behind her. Dropping the saddle in surprise, Jane spun around to see someone who she had not expected to see.

With a gasp and the beginnings of a smile, Jane froze where she stood, her eyes fixed intently on him. "Harry?" she asked confusedly. "What are you doing here?"

•••

Lol it think it's been like a month since I posted a chapter and I feel so bad about it I'm so sorry, I just didn't expect my new classes to be so hard... I'm trying to delegate my time well, but it's obviously not working out too well lol

Anywho, what do y'all think about Jane's parents and all that jazz? Pretty fucked up right?

I love you all! Thank you for reading!!
-Kate❤️