"Oderint dum metuant"

I felt like I am torn apart. The one person was hiding in the bathroom and the other one wanted to confront the Prince.

The first one won.

Sitting on the cold floor I felt my tears roll down my chin in my shirt. I didn't know why I am crying, but I knew I don't cry because he killed that guard.

I didn't even know him. It hurt me to see him killing, because everything that happened, he never killed anyone, but it was so wrong. He ended someone's life; the thin line, his existence - gone in second.

So that is why I hide in the bathroom.

The pain in my neck started approximately at the same time when I started to hickup. The liquid texture on my palm caused my brain to trigger even stronger hickup and with every second a wet thing just slid down my chest.

I screamed. That was my initial impulse. I didn't know what to do. I just looked at my hand, but not actually seeing it.

My mind was in another place.

What would happen if I locked the doors? That way no one could enter and I would be alone. Is the wound too big — can I die?

My head instantly came up to see is there a key, but it wasn't. The lock was empty.

I wanted to scream again, but I stopped myself. If I just stay quiet no one could find me. The Prince or maids won't know im here bleeding and my life could end. I don't have to end the same way as that guard. 

Oh my God, the blood on his face. Flashes of the blood running in air and spreading everywhere just played on repeat in my mind. It was just one bloody face after another. All girls standing in the front line had blood on their skirts; soldiers head fell somewhere in the dirt and his great executor just looked up at me, blood sliding down the sharp sword.

In here fun and murder are mixed so closely that you could change something for another. You could think you are having fun, but actually, you are doing some crime. For a Prince that was nothing, he couldn't get guilty, but for ordinary people, the line was extremely thin.

In a second you could cross it and there would be no swinging back.

My eyes looked up. The ceiling was so beautiful. The painting on it was beautiful. Represented something funny the way you should enjoy in this bathroom but I wanted to use it for my death.

My life meant nothing. Prince could kill me whenever he liked it, just like with that soldier. I didn't want to look at those sick games they preferred. I wanted to be in my regular cloth, not wearing Prince's shirt and feeling cheap.

He did it on purpose, maybe he knew if he killed that guard; showed me how it's easy to end someone's life I would obey. I wouldn't act like this, and he was right. My life will never be mine.

I felt a slightly dizzy, and I put a hand on my chest. Dizziness sneaked up to the back of my mind, and when the black and white dots turned in my mind, eyelids just fell down. With a few weak inhales i felt my heart beating slower and I smiled. Everything will be okay now.

The moment when I passed away I saw Prince opening doors and staring down at me.

He was already in his uniform. The emperor came back, and the balance was restored.

I felt him holding me in his arms but I wanted to yell at him to let me go, how could he killed that solider. Opening my mouth to say something only to let a whimper escape my lips. He didn't flinch, he didn't fear.

As he looked down at me the pain run through my head and the dark dots in my vision turned into darkness.

                                                                                           ****

The warm thing was wrapped around my right hand. Somehow I managed to open my eyes and see a nurse standing next to my bed.

Great. I was in the hospital again.

She looked at infuse and then down at me.

My throat was so dry like I'm swallowing the sand. Wishing I could drink one cup of water I opened my mouth to ask for same but nothing came out. Trying again I just saw nurse looking at me. She didn't move, she didn't understand me.

I couldn't talk.

When adrenaline rushed into my head I pushed covers to get up. The nurse tried to stop me, she spoke something but I didn't register that. The only thing was I couldn't speak. She tried to push me back at the bed but still, I was one who was raised in the river. In a small town. I had more strength and somehow I pushed her. She fell and hit at the edge of the bed. Her unmoving body didn't take my attention.

I just wanted to know what happened. Pulling all the needles and things out I let them fall on the ground when something screamed.

Oh, my God. Why is that so loud? Can someone shut that up? I almost came to the doors but a headache was abnormal. I rub my head for a second but nothing worked. I wanted to scream, but they will know that I'm awake.

But with that noise, they will know it, anyway.

I just wanted to know why I can't talk, I wanted to scream but again nothing came out.

Like someone put me on silent. Nothing came out.

I pushed something, and I saw glass crashing. In the second glass fell on the floor and break in a million fragments. A million pictures swirled in my eyes every single me pushing a glass of the table. The next image: glass breaking into million pieces. Little images, and little moments.

My hands wrapped around the big piece trying to see what is happening but this is not a mirror. I cant see my reflection. When my knees connected with a floor, sadness inhibited in my soul and I let a piece fall out of my hand. This is me: a broken girl.

God, why don't you take me? I looked up when I saw some light.

With my blurry vision, I saw two persons. One of them run to the nurse and I wanted to ask why everything is blurry but I couldn't.

I couldn't talk!

I realised that tears are falling from my face and I wanted to erase them but I couldn't move.

I knew that I will pass again but a moment before my head hit the floor I saw the other man running to the floor. It was a Prince.

I was again in his hands. I just needed to fell and he will catch me.

For a second I looked into his eyes and saw some monster. This wasn't me. I didn't have that crazy eyes or that messy hair.

I was calm and quiet. I hid my resist and I didn't fell in Prince's arms.

This person in his eye was all opposite. And then I realised why I am still alive.

God doesn't want this monster in heaven.

****

The next time I opened my eyes it was a day. The sunshine shone through the window and a little part were falling on the bed. It looked beautiful.

Bunch of crystal was shining on it. They were all shiny one from another. They were now in different colours.

Wait? This is not right.

I closed eyes and when I opened it again, there wasn't anything just sun playing with a blanket.

Guess I'm the crazy one.

I wanted to smile, but all the previous things came back. Oh, my God, I pushed that nurse.

I turned my head to look for someone and I saw a man in black in the angle. Those eyes I could recognise everywhere.

"You really want to rip those stitches for the third time." He pushed his shoulder against the wall and slowly came to me.

"You need to be still." He continued pointing at my neck.

"Why?" I made a question but nothing came out.

Oh no. I can't talk. This is starting again. I shook again and tears were in my eyes.

I felt someone is catching me on the shoulder, but I was in my world.

I can't talk. I will never talk. I will never laugh, my lips will curve into it but nothing will come out. I will use my fingers and I will be sick and people will pity me.

I don't want that. Rather kill me.

But then I felt a sharp pain in my left cheek.

My vision cleared, and I saw Prince's hair and then his whole face in front of mine.

"Calm down, for Makai's sake." He said and pushed hair, but it came back.

I wanted to make no with my mouth but I saw he want to slap me again, so I shut up, and he put his hand down on the bed.

"Relax, a doctor will tell you everything." He frowned, but then looked up.

I followed his glance and saw a good doctor that saved me on the doors.

He was holding something metal in his hands and a little bottle.

"I just need to check her." He said to the Prince, and Prince stepped at the corner again.

The doctor left a cartoon on the bed and sat next to me.

"Hey. Hey." I focused my eyes on him, and he sat next to my hand.

"Here is the condition. You rip the stitches and the wound became more serious that was formerly. So we gave you some pills to calm voice and throat, but that must affected your mind when you couldn't talk and made fear of talking. So you rip stitches again. I'm afraid that when you did that I had to give all from myself, but there will be a scar. I tried to make it smaller I could, but you weren't too good with yourself." He said and all I could do is to look at him.

I couldn't talk and I just watched him.

He said nothing else about that, but he looked at my hand.

"And then there is a situation with your veins. You rip a needle and that caused serious bleeding. That lead to this:  you will stay here for a week." He stood up and took something from the table.

He really didn't make the thing look prettier. And I was glad about that.

When I had my mind clear, I could think. My whole thing looked stupid and I childish.

I couldn't look at Prince when I realised that. He was right. I was acting like a child.

The doctor checked my neck that hurt like hell and my hand. My elbow was twice bigger than usual.

Great. I really get my body on scars.

I closed eyes not wanting to look at anything. I just wanted to get lost again, but that wasn't possible.

My mind was awake, and I had something to remember, but I couldn't remember what was.

When I opened eyes again, I the doctor was already gone and Prince was standing in front of me.
I turned my head not wanting to look at that gauze and saw notepad and pen on a table.

I stretched out my hand to take it but that needle for infusion didn't allow me. I looked at him showing on a notepad and in a second he came from another side and gave it.

The loud sound went through the room when I pushed a pen and tint got out.

I pushed that fancy pen on a paper and I without some thinking I wrote the first thing that crosses on my mind.

"What day is it?"

"You were unconscious for two days. Now it's Friday." He answered.

"I feel so stupid." I looked at the paper and for a second and I didn't know should I show him, but he saw it before I could crap that.

"You should be. You acted like a little girl when someone takes her toy." He said coldly while looking at me.

His eyes were serious but there was something more. Like he is concerned. There is some emotion that I didn't know what to say.

"How is a nurse?" I wrote and showed him.

He lifted his eyebrows and looked at me.

"She had a little cut on the head and shell shock but nothing serious. She will be back at work on Monday." He said and sat next to my feet.

I moved my feet for him to have more space but then I felt like something is missing. I couldn't remember what happened.

I was turning my mind upside down trying to remember what is happening. I didn't know why I ended up at a bathroom or why did I cried, or fought with a Prince.

I looked down at the paper and saw that I draw a little angle of his eye and a little wisp of hair falling into it.

I turned it before he saw it and wrote.

"I can't remember what happened."

He was looking at the paper for a few seconds, and then he bit his lip.

"Don't worry you will remember." He said and turned to get up.

He came back at his corner, thoughtful. He didn't look at me and that gave me operating to look at him closely.

He had dark circles under his eyes and his lips were pushed one at other.

He was angry, and he looked tired.

"You should get some sleep." I wrote and showed him.

He came to a step closer to read and then smiled.

"Little rabbit is worried about a big bad Prince?" I looked at him with questions all over my face.

"You did that because I killed a guard." He said and flashes came back to me.

Blood. Head falling. Screaming. His look at me. His smile. His words.

"I told you it can get bloody."

I looked at him my body automatically moving from him. With a slow step, he came closer.

His eyes flashed with green and then turned to white again.

He slowly pressed lips on my forehead and said.

"Get some rest, little monster."

This is a horror.

"Oderint dum metuant" Let them hate, so long as they fear.

Hello hello, hello.

What do you think?? What will happen?
Why Prince take care of her? Is she someone special? Will she talk?

Kisi Kisi kiss

As always vote and comment.