My Mother always told me, "If you don't stop dwelling on the past, that's where you end up living." She'd say that after I had done something wrong when I was young. Like breaking a vase, or something of the sort. I guess I've been going against what she had told me all this time.

MORE PRESENT MATTERS

"Yi Qi-ge! You slept in, you big dumbass." Donghai's voice brutally brings me back into the pain that is my existence. He shakes me a few times before I half heartedly respond

"So?" I say, my voice sounding slightly harsh and rough from just waking up.

"What do you mean 'so'? I don't want to take care of these kids myself." Donghai blew a piece of his flat, jet black hair, from his face, only to have it return to the same spot. Once I heard him mention the other two younger boys, I didn't feel such a need for sleep anymore.

"Ugh, fine." I threw the ripped sleeping bag I had found for myself off of my body, and stood up. I reached my arms up to stretch and heard my joints crack, as if offended I even thought of moving. "Where are the other two?" Donghai brought his hand up and pointed to the far right corner of the nearly-empty-room. Could you even call it a room? It had rained that night, and that forced us to sleep on the floor just below the roof, inside the old decaying building. It smelled like mold and mildew, and everything felt moist and dry at the same time. This is the main reason we only ever slept inside on very rare occasions. I said hi and good morning (more like good afternoon) to Xiaobo and Feng before letting Donghai know that even though I was awake, he'd still have to take care of the kids himself, since I was heading out.

"Why can't you stay here and I can head out?"

"I'm older." I reminded him. He seemed to quiet up after that. Donghai had always respected me for the age difference, even though it wasn't large.

I made my way down the sketchy flights of stairs, trying my best not to break them and fall through. This was an instance I was glad for my light weight, cause any heavier, and I would have fallen.

Once I opened the door to the building, I took a large breath in, taking advantage of the lack of mold in the air.

I walked around town for a bit, people shielding their children from me as I went along. It kinda stings, not gonna lie. I understand, but it still hurts. It's not like I'm particularly dangerous, I guess people just don't want their kids to know about the less fortunate, and what they have to do, just to survive.

I saw a man, a little bit ahead of me, selling what seemed to be takoyaki. I decided, since I was hungry, and admittedly a little bored, to take from him. At this point, I think I have gotten to a place where stealing is just a part of who I am, and it's gotten to be a pastime of mine. What else is there to do?

Who knows? Maybe I've developed kleptomania.

I made my way through the crowd, keeping my head low in hopes of not being recognized, although, since I don't have many changes of clothing, I pretty much wear the same things all the time, ultimately making me pretty easy to spot.

Maybe I'll have to start going farther out of town to get food.

"Hey! Get that thief away from my damn shop!" I hear the older man's husky voice yell to the best of his ability. He has one of those old man voices that seems so fragile, but yet scary enough to make anyone freeze, even if it's for a second. I shot my head up and made eye contact with the man. At this point, I have nothing to lose, so I grab as much of the food I can, and book it down the street. I'd been in this situation many times before, so it's nothing new.

I look behind me briefly, to see if the man is still following me, but to my relief, he isn't. I slow my running down to a walk, and hide myself in a seemingly empty alleyway.

"Damn." I say, between breaths, to no one but myself.

And then...

I got that... feeling...

You know when you just know someone is near you. It's like you can sense them, and their malic.

Yeah. That's what I felt.

I whipped my head around to look behind me, and sure enough. There he was. Six-foot something, older, maybe... Fourty? The one thing that stood out about this man the most was how absolutely filthy he was. And that's coming from a teen boy who's homeless and hasn't had a proper shower in longer than I'd like to admit. Everything about him was gross. From his greasy, tangled, unkempt hair, to his dirty, stained with god knows what, ripped pants, he was really something. And I don't mean that in a good way. His presence made me uncomfortable and I thought briefly about running away from him, but I didn't.

"Hey, look man, if you want some food I'll just give it to you." I said, my voice was shaking a little and I sounded pathetic. Yeah I'm normally tough but tall dirty middle aged men scare me okay? Piss off. "You don't need to, um..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"I think we can help each other, kid."