Dedicated to @Kiddo_Star and 
@Uzma_Farheen

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"It was you who wanted to prepone the wedding and now you are saying you would call it off?" She exclaimed hurt.

"Do you have any d--"

She cut him.

"No. Don't speak. Don't speak at all Arnav. Don't. Because you are only going to spout venom because you are hurt. Too hurt. I get it. I do. I know I have screwed up and I am ready to pay. Just tell me what I have to do to make it up to you? What do I have to do to get my Annar back?"

"Try turning back time and telling me everything the very first day that doctor tried to lure you in.If not, try turning back time to that morning when you took the poison.If you can't. Try turning the clock to put back all the broken pieces of trust I have in you to make it the way like it was before. Or maybe you shouldn't try anything at all because you fucking can't turn back the time nor can you undo the damage you did to our relationship."

"We would never get past that?" She croaked."Are you going to taunt me at every chance you got?"

"That's the plan."

"For god's sake we are going to marry Annar. How would we go on like this? It is too painful."

"Blame yourself for it." Another arrow was thrown straight at her heart.

"You were never this harsh with me. Please try to think it from my perspective Annar. Please at least once?" She cried out on the verge of spilling the tears.

"Did you try to think it all from my perspective? No. Right. So why should I?"

She couldn't hold it any longer. The tears leaked her eyes.

He got down from the bed and came to stand in front of her.

"These are not going to work this time Khushi." He murmured against her face kissing a drop of tears on her cheek.She sucked in a breath.

"Try something else." He stepped back and folded his hands against his chest.

"Please lie down Arnav." She sniffled."Your wound is still raw."

"You are right. It is."

She understood the innuendo behind his words clearly.

"We can discuss this later. You need rest right now."

"You are absolutely right Khushi. We do have our whole life to discuss this don't we?"

Her eyes widened.

He wasn't going to forgive her ever.

Will he?

She felt her heart gripped into a fist with even the thought of bearing this side of her Annar for life.

No!

She can't.

She don't have the strength to live without his love..all her life.

NO!

And she won't.

Garima and Shashi accompanied them to RM and after adjusting Arnav in the room left on Arnav's instance to go and have some rest after the tiring day.

Khushi entered in his room with the soup made especially by her and saw him lying down with his eyes staring at the ceiling in deep thoughts.

Placing the bowl on the bedside table, she sat besides him on the bed.

"So you are staying here aren't you?" He asked.

"It's not like I have a choice anyways." She said silently.

"Sure you don't." He whispered closing his eyes.

"Thank you." She said after a few minutes.

She waited for him to respond but he didn't so disheartened she continued.

"For what you did for me. Amma, Babuji thanked you but I didn't. Thank you so much Annar."

"I had to do that. Can't take risk of you ending your life again for torturing me." His whisper broke her.

"I can't torture you." She exclaimed.

"Well you have a weird way of showing that." Came a taunting reply tearing her some more..

"Don't do this to me Arnav. I can't bear this anymore." She cried out resting her head on his chest.

"Get off me." He said briskly.

She raised her head to look in his eyes with shock and hurt.

Sniffling she took the bowl of soup blinking back the tears.

Arnav swallowed seeing her like this.

Sitting up he leaned against the headboard intently looking at her.

They say that the person you love the most hurts you the most.

He understood the feelings behind those words the same day she revealed how she hid such big thing from him which could've cost him her life.

Still he was selfish.

He can't let her go.

Never!

If he was burning in this hell of pain and hurt then she'll too.

Because it was her who brought it upon them.

So she shall bear it.

"Soup. I made it. For you." She whispered ignoring his stinging words extending the bowl to him.

He took the bowl from her without saying anything surprising her.

She thought he won't take it as she has made it.But he did making her a bit relieved inside.

Maybe things will change gradually.

She just have to be patient.

Drinking the soup he handed the bowl back to her and dropped another bomb on her.

"From the day after tomorrow marriage rituals are going to start. I've informed Aunty, Uncle.All the rituals will be held in RM only." He stated as if not his, he was talking about someone else's marriage.

"Khush in all the rituals of our marriage I'll be by your side in each one of them." Arnav said excitedly eyeing his friend Aditya and his fiance Sonia engrossed in enjoying the Roka ceremony teasing one another in between.

Khushi smiled imagining their own rituals in her mind too.

It made her long to get those days come soon.

"You can't stay in all of them. On Mehndi men aren't allowed Arnav.."

"Trust me.Even in Mehndi I'll not leave your side." Arnav winked.

She blushed smiling widely.

"We will see." she folded her hands under her breasts.

"This is my promise Khush.No matter what, you will enjoy the rituals like a bride should.With me by your side." He said turning serious looking intently at her making her nerves tingling.

"Huh?" She was jerked back from her thoughts as he waved his hand before her.

"If you want to stay in your dreamland then kindly do so in your room.I am sleepy.Door is that way." He said.

Swallowing her sobs she stood up and ran away from his room thinking that he'd forgotten his promise.

How could he?

"I haven't forgotten anything Khush." He whispered in her wake.

He called as soon as he reached his apartment in London.

She answered at the first ring but didn't speak.

It must be late night there in India but she still wasn't asleep and he knew the reason why.

"Khush. I've reached safely." He said huskily in the phone and then sighed when he didn't get any reply even then.

"Tum soyi nahi abi tak?(You didn't sleep yet?)"

Again no reply.

"Okay fine you don't want to talk then I'll keep the phone down." He deliberately kept his tone firm and calm.

"Khabardar! (Don't you dare!)" Came her voice more like a sob followed by a sniff.

"I miss you already--terribly .. very , very m-much." She choked and he had a hard time controlling himself after that as he let himself fall on the couch behind and closed his eyes in pain.

"Khush you're not helping me here by being like this.. If you continued then I swear sab kuch chod k tumhare pass wapis aa jaun ga. Phir tumhari khair nahi.(I will leave everything and come back to you. Beware I won't spare you then!)" He teased in a small voice which made her inside churn with pain.

She ignored his warning.

She so wished to be there in his arms no matter how he tease her with his words or drugging kisses.

"Annar I don't want to study anymore. Mujhe apne pass bula lo.Please. (I want to be with you.There.Please.)" She sobbed on the phone making his eyes tear up.

"Khush I swear ab maine tumhare rone ki awaz suni na toh tumse kabhi baat nahi karun ga aur na hi kabhi wapis aon ga.(Khush I swear if I hear one more cry from you then I won't talk to you ever.I won't come back to you ever either.)" He said angrily feeling her cries shooting daggers at his heart.

That worked as her sobs subsided and he heard her shallow breathing on the other side.

"Khush." He heard her sharp intake of breath.

"I miss you too." He whispered.

She burst into cries making him close his eyes.

"I-I am tired Khush.I will j-just go and t-take some rest.Till then.Bye.Take care of yourself. For me." He was asking her to be brave and here he himself was stammering with emotions nonetheless.

He cut the call quickly because both of them were too emotional at the moment to talk without breaking down.

The next day when they talked both have managed to gather themselves and appeared out strong so that the other don't feel emotional or heartbroken due to the distance.

It became a routine thereafter.

They would stay in contact through calls , skype or whatsapp at a time when they both would be free of any other task in hand.

Her studies and his business were going along smoothly.

Arnav has given her the reign to decide when she would be comfortable to spend time with him or talk with him without neglecting her studies and she quickly send him her schedule. 

It would always be her who called him because he has in no uncertain terms told her that he didn't want to intrude in her studies which he knew were very tough to which she has laughed and said teasingly that don't he have tough time with work too?

To which he has replied saying,  he is the boss and he can skip some time if he want to while she don't has any such privilege for she has to be good in her academics.

She has smiled widely at that which he felt even through phone.

So it was decided then and there. The time slot for their chit chat and they both would desperately wait for that time to arrive when they could talk or video chat with each other.

Arnav's POV

As the doctor changed my dressing she stood besides my bed anxiously glancing at me.

It made me smile inwardly.

I am angry on her.

Scratch that-

I am neck deep in rage on her.

But that doesn't mean I don't know what's going on in her mind and why she was being apprehensive and edgy.

She was worried and that was clearly showing on her face.

I have to make it clear to her that no matter how much she is worried for me she has to confide in me for her fears and insecurities like I always did right from the start.

I had told her all of my fears when Mummy Papa died and whenever I felt the need to be with her just for the sake of it.I told it all.Openly!

But she didn't.

She has kept a very, very big thing from me and it has cut me so deep that It planted insecurities in me that my love wasn't enough for her and she has to realise that.

She will have to.

I'll make her feel it all.

Just that I didn't know it would be this difficult.

Seeing her getting emotional at even smallest of my taunts upset me much more.

Why she has to cry at every taunting word of mine?

Can't she make it easy for me for trying to distance myself?

But no, never.

She won't.

She was Khush after all.

She love to make me helpless by her tears.

Stupid .. Stupid Khush.

My Khush.

My soon to be wife.

Wife

It thrilled me to the core.

She will be my wife by the end of this week and I can take her with me anywhere I want to as she will be mine.

Fully and wholly.

I won't have to answer anyone and I won't have to take anyone's permission either because she will be my responsibility.

Mine!

Just Mine!

A rush of possessiveness and happiness washed over me but another thought dimmed it that she still don't has that much trust in me that i will be by her side always.

That I will never leave her.

Never abandon her no matter what.

Just a few words from her parents has led her to take that drastic step and she has gone along with killing herself.

No matter how much I try.

I just can't get rid of the brokenness, the pain and the hurt it caused me.

It grew so much within me that I winced and it came out as a hiss from my mouth which doctor took as the sign of physical pain.

"Its done." Doctor was done changing the bandage.

Stitches were removed but the scar remained as a reminder of the catastrophe that led to it.

"Okay." I said and got up from the bed buttoning up my shirt.

"Hey ASR.Let the wound heal properly first.Stitches are removed but a day more rest is needed to let it settle down.So stay in the bed would you?"

"I am much better doctor.Besides from tomorrow my marriage rituals are going to start and I have to look after the preparations.So excuse me." I said and left the room ignoring her disapproving and worried glances for not listening the doctor advise.

"Yeah Aman. Okay. Good they're working.You do know what else is needed.I want everything perfect.It shouldn't look like it is done in haste.My marriage should be the talk of the town.Hire as many men as you want and yeah tell Pam to send Khushi's dresses for all the rituals.She is already working on it isn't she?"

"Yup ASR.She is working from the last week since you've told her and they're ready too.They will be delivered to RM by the evening." I heard Aman say over the phone.

"Great." I said turning around and bumped into her.

Clumsy girl

I clasped my free hand around her waist to prevent her fall and looked down intently at her while talking to Aman.

She was standing without a word in my arms and I marveled at the closeness for which I was longing for.

"I will call you later Aman." I said cutting the call and leaned into her.

"You're eavesdropping." I challenged.

"NO!" She shrieked and then bit her lips.

"I-I was just passing by." She stammered looking at my collar still biting her lips.

She has to stop doing that otherwise it'll not be good for her.

It's been years since I last kissed her.

Years dammit!

3 years give or take to be precise!

Here she was testing my patience by teasing me though unintentionally but she was doing it.

I needed a distraction.

Badly

I deliberately trailed my fingers at her back and she responded to my touch by sucking in her breaths.

She shouldn't be standing calm when she was turning me on by just being here.

With me.

I leaned to her lips and heard her take sharp breaths clutching to me anticipating the kiss but I pulled back right after breathing on her lips.

"I am waiting in the car. Follow me. We are going shopping. For our wedding."

I ordered steeling my resolve to stay away.

Hurt flashed in her eyes making me want to soothe it but I didn't and walked away reminding myself that I have to stay strong.

For us.

To teach her a few things in which I would never compromise.

Trust being on the top.

She has to have faith in me to win me back.

I sat in my car waiting for her.

Grasping the wheel tightly in my hands I took deep breaths to calm myself as tears pricked my eyes for hurting her and in return myself.

The door opened and she sat in the passenger seat.

I stole a glance at her and an invisible punch landed in my gut seeing her swollen eyes.

She has cried again because of me.

Oh Khush

In that moment I knew I can't let it go like this anymore.

I have tried.

Tried hard to punish her but I can't let it go on anymore.

I failed.

I accept my defeat to this woman who was my world since the time she came into this world.

I remember clearly the day when I took her tiny , wriggling form in my arms when Garima Aunty came back from the hospital a week after Khushi was born.

I was 5 then but the protectiveness I felt at that time for her while holding her in my arms has only increased, doubled over in the coming years and right now it has reached to the brim.

I have to protect her from the world ... from evil and from myself too.

And I will.

But letting her know about the things in which she erred was important too.

Formulating the change in his plans , he drove to the mall concentrating on the road missing the way his Khush stance changed besides him from being broken to determined.

Khushi's POV

I was angry very much to say the least when he turn down the doctor's advise to rest.

I followed him outside and heard him talking to his PA about our marriage preparation.

My heart clenched as he talked about my dresses.

He has ordered a week ago for them?

The time when he was ignoring me ruthlessly?!

It twisted knots in my gut.

He was still thinking of me , my needs and comfort even while being in pain.

How can he be so giving?

He never asked anything from me.

And the one thing he ever wanted from me , I couldn't give him that.

Trust.

How can I hurt my Annar that much?

Tears pricked my eyes.

I took a step forward to place my hand on his shoulder when he turned all of a sudden and bumped into me.

I was about to lose my balance when like always he saved me and I felt a shiver run down my spine as his hand wounded around my waist and I crashed to his chest.

Try as might I couldn't look up at his face and kept my gaze on his collars biting my lips.

My breaths hitched in my throat as I felt his fingers caressing my back.

I felt him gazing at my lips and I knew he wanted to kiss me.

I closed my eyes anticipating the kiss as badly as he wanted except that he pulled back pushing me to the brim of my desires.

I felt rejected, hurt.

I cried as he left ordering me to join him in the car and I obeyed feeling drained of fighting it all.

Fighting him.

It's has been years since we have been away.

Now when he came back , still we are apart.

This has to end.

As I sat besides him and glanced at his stiff posture whilst he drove silently I knew what I had to do.

Instead of crying over his rude and hurting behavior I'll have to be strong to fight it all and try to win back his trust and love in the way like his little Khush would've done.

Now that same Khush will get back her protective Annar back

At any cost.

She sighed in relief after planning it all completely missing the change of expressions in her Annar's stance right by her side.

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