03. I've Missed You
It was closing in on Christmas in Wakanda two years after Mary had given birth to the Golden Wolf of Wakanda, a precious little boy who was full of giggles and smiles for anyone he met and loved by everyone.
It was going to be the third Christmas for the Barnes family in Wakanda, their new home, though it wasn't new to them anymore. Jamie was only three months old for his first Christmas but for his third Christmas, he was older and more excited than Mary had ever seen her little boy.
The thought of gifts and cookies, warm fires in the fireplace surrounded by family all back for a short time from missions drinking cocoa and watching Christmas classics. Well, all except Natasha and Becca. Mary hadn't heard word from either of them except when Becca had sent a holographic message from her breads close to a year ago saying she had left the Compound and Tony to be with her Aunt for an undisclosed amount of time. Tony of course had called Mary instantly the moment he realized Becca was no longer under his roof and care.
He apologized profusely but Mary, being his mother, calmed him down and the two were able to talk more about what had happened in the past weeks that lead up to Becca's departure. To say Mary was stunned to know Peter and Becca had broken up was an understatement. Her baby girl had been subjected to her first ever heartbreak and Mary couldn't be there to comfort her daughter. And the fact that Becca's body had shut down from the pain of the breakup, Mary didn't think that was possible for the human body to do. But swan's die from heartbreak, why couldn't humans be in that amount of pain when the love of their life breaks their heart?
The mother and son talked more about how Tony handled the situation as best he could, how he called Doctor Strange to oversee Becca's recovery made Mary feel proud of her son and her apprentice. Things seemed to be healing between the mother and son. But one topic was never brought up, Mary's husband and brother. It was a touchy subject for Tony and Mary respected that her son still wasn't ready to talk about Bucky and Steve.
But Jamie? That was a topic the big brother always wanted to know about.
Mary still hadn't been able to take Jamie to meet Tony in person, but she wanted that to happen soon. T'Challa had told his best friend countless times that she could take a Talon Fighter Jet and some Dora as protection if she wanted to go to Upstate to see Tony.
And it was high time she did that. With Christmas only weeks away, she wanted to see her eldest son. That was her Christmas wish.
"You sure about this, Luna?" Bucky asks softly as he holds his son against his chest in the rocking chair in the couple's room in their home, the home Bucky had built for his family. He was watching his wife, his love, pack a small suitcase to take with her and Jamie as she went to see her eldest son.
Mary continued to flit around the room as she grabbed things to pack, laying them on the bed as she stopped and took in her husband and son. He was in his pajamas, which meant only bottoms and Jamie was in his diaper, clinging tightly to his panther stuffy as he sucked on his Iron Man pacifier, a gift from Tony that was given to Agent Ross and was then sent to Mary with help of a certain best friend/king. The father and son were taking their quiet time of the day for their bonding.
"I am, Alpha." Mary said softly with a smile resting on his lips as she folded a blouse into her suitcase. "Jamie needs to meet his brother." She reminds him, then looks down, "And i.. I need to see him too."
Bucky nods, taking in that his wife needed to see her son, the man she raised as her own. Tony was an important piece of her life.
"I'm just worried about what the governments are going to try and pull." Bucky said with his eyes laced in concern for his precious luna, Wakanda's Gray Wolf.
"They won't try and pull anything if they're smart." Mary scoffed, "I'm going to be with Ayo and one other Dora the entire time I'm not with Tony. I'll be safe." She said simply. They both knew she was protected under Wakandan Law now, being the Advisor of the King had given Mary privileges of a diplomat, because she was one now, the governments couldn't touch her without starting a war with Wakanda.
And now that Wakanda had come out of hiding and showed the world their power, no one wanted to go to war with the nation protected by the Black Panther.
"I trust you, and I trust the Dora. It's everyone else i don't trust." Bucky states as he hears his son's breathing and heartbeat even out, indicating Jamie had gone to sleep. The father stands and moves around his wife to the crib they had set up for Jamie when they wanted him in their room. The Golden Wolf had his own room, but there were nights where nightmares were prominent in the Barnes family.
Bucky still had nightmares, Shuri and Mary knew those would never leave him entirely. And now that he had a son, a son who depended on him for everything, those were what plagued the Barnes man. His son being taken, killed, beaten, all of it. Mary would wake up some nights to see Bucky walking back into their room with Jamie tucked safely in his blanket from T'Challa and Ramonda in Bucky's arm. Soft Russian coming from the father as he whispered sweet, protective nothings to his son.
"I don't trust them either, but it's time i saw my son." Mary said as she shut her suitcase.
The conversation was soon over when Bucky picked the suitcase up and lifted it off the bed. His arm then wrapped itself around Mary's waist and the wife grinned as her hands placed themselves flat against his chest. "Then I need to treat my wife right before she leaves on her big trip." Bucky teased as he lowered his arm, lifting Mary off the ground with his arm under her bottom and setting her gently down onto their bed as their lips connected and Mary's hands ran through Bucky's hair.
Mary broke the kiss much to both of their dismay when she looked over at their son, "Should we move him to his room?" Mary asked softly, she didn't want them to be in the middle of love making and have their son wake up needing one of them.
Bucky chuckled softly, shaking his head, "He's a sound sleeper, Doll. He'll be okay." He says but Mary doesn't believe her husband and he sighs when she gives him the look. "I don't want him away from me right now." He concludes, his one arm propping himself above his wife as she lays underneath him.
"Then we'll just have to be quiet." Mary mutters softly as she looked back up at her husband, pecking his lips as she begins to slip out of her nightdress.
Bucky smirks, "That's rich coming from you, Doll." He teases his wife as he molded his lips to hers.
Mary was nervous when the Talon Fighter Jet landed on the landing pad in the Avengers Compound. T'Challa, before she had left, insisted that Okoye go with Mary. The Advisor and General had no problem with this, the two close friends were happy to be together and the general was more than happy to be with the Golden Wolf one on one.
"Is this the right place, Madam Advisor?" Ayo asked from the pilot's seat, her eyes glancing back at the second in command of the Dora Milaje as the advisor stood from her position.
When the mother looked out the window, she was brought to tears. She hadn't been to the compound since before Peggy had passed, she missed what was once her home. She missed everything about the Compound and those that lived inside.
"Yes." Mary said shakily, a smile on her face as she put on her jacket, the snow was coming down thick in Upstate, New York and she knew it would snow. She had hoped for snow. Wakanda didn't get snow, and it was something the Brooklyn native missed. "Yes, this is it." She whispered as she wiped her hazel eyes and took her son into her arms much to Okoye's dismay.
When the Advisor and General stepped off the jet and onto the landing pad, Mary closed her eyes as she heard the crunch of the snow beneath her feet. She could smell the freshness of the air, the crisp December air of New York was something she loved.
"Ooohh!" Jamie said from his mother's arms and giggled as snowflakes landed on his hand and eyelashes, "Ith cold!" The toddler shivered into his mother's warm arms. The two women laughed at the boy. His lisp was certainly something the adults found adorable when the Barnes boy spoke.
"It's very cold, Ingcuka yegolide. Be sure to stay warm with your umama." Golden Wolf. Okoye said with a smile as she took in the snow covered building and grounds.
Mary laughed softly at her son as he nods at Okoye, then looked at the General, "James will want pictures, I'm almost positive." She said and her friend knew instantly what she was asking. Okoye holds up her Kimoyo beads and gets a candid picture of the mother and son. Mary has her tongue out trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue, a large smile on her face with her eyes closed. Jamie in her arms trying to catch snowflakes in his hands, a wide smile on his face as well.
"Mom?" A man calls out and it snaps Mary out of her small fantasy as she opens her eyes and turns around. Mary beams as she sees her son, her Anthony walking towards her and Jamie.
"T-Tony.." Mary mutters in shock and happiness. She reluctantly sets Jamie down to let him enjoy the snow falling with Okoye and Ayo. She began to walk towards her son until he broke into a sprint. Tears clouded Mary's hazel eyes as she ran to hug her eldest son. Her son's arms wrapped around her the moment they reached each other.
"I've missed you so much, Mom." Tony says softly, he was fighting tears of his own and they fell without hesitation once his mother was in his arms. Mary sobbed into his chest as she held him tightly. He held her tight, but kept in mind the scars on her back, tears cascaded down his face as he rested his chin on his mother's head. He had truly thought this moment would never happen after Siberia. So much had gone wrong that day. So much had gone wrong since the Accords.
They both knew they still had a lot to work through, but right now in this moment, they were mother and son again, just like before.
It took the younger brother calling for his mother to break them apart. Jamie wanted to show his mother his work with Okoye and Ayo. He was proud of his snowbuddy that he helped create. The base was barely bigger than Okoye's fist, and the head nearly the size of Jamie's tiny hand but the Golden Wolf was enamoured with his snow creation.
"Umama!" Jamie shouted to his mother. The two year old was gifted already at such a young age with languages. He knew the basics of Xhosa, Russian and English already and he spoke all three at random. Some days he chose to only speak Russian, other days it was English or Xhosa. But most days it was English with pieces of the other two languages mixed in. "I made friend!"
Tony beamed and chuckled at his two year old brother as he and their mother walked over to him and the two Dora. Mary squatted down to inspect the snowbuddy as Tony stood behind their mother and simply watched.
"He's so handsome." Mary said with pride as she ruffled Jamie's beanie covered head. The young boy squealed as he threw himself into his mother's arms and buried his face into her chest for warmth and affection.
The mother lifted her youngest son into her arms as Jamie buried his face into her neck, his tiny arms wrapping around her neck as he looked at Tony in front of them. The young boy was timid in front of new people but warmed up to them quickly when his parents or guardians were close to the new person. "Who you?" Jamie asked softly to Tony. The toddler squeezed his panther stuffy in anticipation and nerves.
Tony was taken aback, he had dreamed of this moment but now that it was actually happening, he was nervous. He normally wasn't a man that became nervous in situations meeting new people, he was the charismatic. But meeting his baby brother? That was something he thought he'd never do.
"I'm Tony, your brother." Tony said cautiously with a smile. He wasn't sure what else to say to his brother. But he knew of one thing. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jamie." He added with a teary eyed smile.
Jamie gasped as the adults began to walk inside, Tony taking the suitcases Mary had bought for herself and Jamie into his hands. "You know me?" The toddler asked curiously as his eyes looked around at the large interior of the Avengers Compound.
Tony chuckled as Mary simply let the brothers talk. "I do, you're quite famous you know, mister."
"I don't know." Jamie stated quickly, clearly trying to tell Tony he didn't know he was famous. He was a little boy. In Wakanda he was popular but he considered everyone his friend. He didn't know what famous was.
"Tony and I have talked all about you, Sunshine." Mary says to her little boy. "He's the last family member you haven't met until now."
"But- wha bout Bebe." Jamie asked softly, he was slightly confused. Happy that he was meeting Tony but he remembered listening to his family talk about his sister. He vaguely remembered meeting her on his day of birth, but nothing after that.
James Steven Barnes had the unique gift of being able to remember just about everything that's happened in his life since birth. 'A photographic memory on steroids' his Uncle Sam would call it.
"You met Bebe, remember?" Mary says softly and Jamie nods slowly, his mind remembering the hazy images he has of his sister.
"Bebe?" Tony asked softly in curiosity.
Mary smiles softly, "Becca. He has a nickname for everyone." She laughed, "Kind of like you, T." She says, realizing that for the first time. Tony led his mother and her bodyguards to the common room —even though Mary knew her way around the Compound— he wanted to subtly but not subtly show off to the Wakandans.
Tony nods with a smile on his lips, "Your old room is still how you left it, Mom." He says, "I figured you could stay there with little tike."
"I not tike! I big boy!" Jamie said proudly from his mother's arms, puffing his chest up slightly to prove his point.
Okoye laughed and looked at Jamie in Mary's arms, hazel eyes meeting those of his favorite fighter outside of his family. He loved watching Okoye train with the other Dora Milaje whenever Mary would stop by the training grounds. "The biggest of boys, Ingcuka yegolide." Golden Wolf. She said proudly back to the boy.
Jamie giggled at Okoye, blushing and burying his face into his mother's neck again, causing the adults around him to chuckle.
"He's such a flirt." Mary teases and Tony snorts with a laugh escaping his lips.
"He's more like me than you thought, huh?" Tony teased back as the two plus Jamie made their way towards Mary's old room. The older brother glances behind him to see Okoye and Ayo still following them. "Are they going to stop following you? Like ever? It's a tad stormtrooper esc."
Mary chuckled, shaking her head and turns back to her friends, "You two don't have to follow me." She tells them, "I'm sure one of the agents will show you to where you two are staying." Tony nods in agreement with his mother.
Okoye shakes her head, "We're here to protect you, Mary." She reminds the advisor.
"She's perfectly safe here with me." Tony states but he already can figure out that neither of the Dora are very trusting of him and he sighs. "Do what you will." He grumbles as the door opens to Mary's old room.
The mother sat her toddler son down on her old bed and proceeded to take his shoes and coat off as he tore his hat off his head and shook his head violently to fix his hair. "Umama, we call Baba?" Jamie asks and both Tony and Mary tense in their movements.
"I- Um.. Later, Sunshine, before bedtime we'll call Baba and he'll tell you about his day, okay?" Mary answers her baby boy as best she can while Tony is present in the room.
Jamie nods and grins in approval as he slides off the bed and wanders around the large bedroom. It fascinated him, just about everything did. Okoye trailed the young wolf as the mother and her eldest son sat down on her reading window nook. Similar to the one she had in the Tower.
"It might hurt to hear you talk about him but i know there's no avoiding it, Mom." Tony says right off the bat, "He's your husband and Reebs and Sven's dad."
Mary nodded then looked between her sons, "Sven?" She asked as she laughed softly.
Tony nodded, "He's clearly a Sven, his middle name is Steven. All you gotta do is take out the T and first E." He jokes with a smile, "Though, i'll be honest, he reminds me more of Olaf."
Mary laughs, nodding in agreement, "He does love warm hugs." She points out. "He and Shuri watch that movie more times than I can count." She says, "He'll wake up early and Shuri will stop by and James and I will wake up to either Frozen movie being played down the stairs in the living room.
Tony laughs as Jamie runs up to his mother and brother and points at Tony. "I member you!" He shouts proudly, "You in piffers at home!" He says, wrapping his small arms around Tony's legs and then runs back to Okoye.
The older brother is taken aback and then looks over at his mother, "I'm in pictures in your home?" He asks cautiously.
"Of course you are, Tony. You're my son." Mary says, slightly offended Tony would even think of her not having some sort of his presence in her home. The home she built with her husband. "T'Challa had them printed and framed for us as a housewarming gift."
Tony nods slowly then looks back over at his brother, "How did he remember that though? It's such a small detail."
"Because he remembers everything."
"You don't mean-"
"But i do. He remembers everything since the day he was born. All of it, some pieces are hazy but for the most part he remembers everything." Mary says softly, "Shuri and I have tested him, we think it's due to James's super soldier serum." She mutters. "He also has enhanced senses of hearing and smell like James, enhanced endurance and strength as well."
Tony whistles underneath his breath in amazement, "And he's two.." He mutters in disbelief. "Does he know about all of that?"
Mary nods, "Hard to lie to him when he remembers everything. He's smart for his age."
The older brother smiles as he watches Jamie, "He's incredible, Mom." He states softly.
"I like to think so." The mother teases, then looks at her eldest son. "I missed you so much, Tony.. nothing was the same without you for a long time." She tells him, "My birthdays were lonelier, the holidays as well.. they all lacked something, they lacked you."
Tony nods in agreement as he looks down at his hands, "Things have been quiet around here too, especially since Reebs left. I'm still sorry about that, Mom."
Mary shakes her head, "It's been almost a year since that happened. She's okay." She reminds her son with a small smile, taking his hand into her own. "And i'm still sorry for not telling you about Jamie.. that was wrong of me. So very wrong."
Tony pulls his mother into his arms, holding her close. "I would've done the same, Mom. And it's honestly good you didn't tell me." He says softly and Mary stares at her son in shock. "Hear me out." He mutters and Mary simply nods. "I was furious, pissed, i couldn't describe the anger and pain i felt for months. If you had told me about your pregnancy, i would've ended up being mad at Jamie as well, and that was something i didn't want to happen."
"So me not telling you about him ended up being a good thing?" Mary asked curiously as she looked up at her son, hazel eyes meeting brown.
"Oddly? Yeah. Still hurt i didn't know about him until Reebs texted me, but if i had known before then.. I would've had another person to be angry at, and Jamie doesn't deserve that."
Mary nods in agreement as she looks over at her sunshine, then back at Tony. "I love you, Tony." She says softly, "Even when we were apart.. i never stopped loving you." Tony looks down, ashamed. Tears welled in his eyes as he stood up and walked out of Mary's room. "Tony?" She questions and calls to her son. Mary quickly stands and rushes to catch up to her son. "Anthony?"
She finds him standing in the hallway with his back against the wall and his head in his hand as he wept openly. "I did horrible things, Mom. Horrible things to your family." Tony says, "I tried to kill them, Mom."
Mary hesitates but shakes her head and shushes him as she pulls him into her arms like she always did when he was upset with himself. Whenever Howard would belittle Tony or yell at him, call him a disappointment, Mary was the one to pick up the pieces of the child blaming himself for his father's anger and resentment.
"I won't deny any of that. I can't, but i know they're both sorry for their part in all of it." Mary replies to her son, "James regrets everything he ever did while under Hydra's control. And Steve beats himself up everyday for fighting you."
Tony doesn't know what to say as he and his mother slide onto the floor, the adult man clutching onto his mother as if he was a child again. He knew his resentment towards Bucky and Steve might never change after the events in Siberia, but he knew his relationship with his mother was mending. He knew it would be stronger after the healing process. And on the bright side, Tony had a brother to get to know.
Special Guest Appearance by
The Mama's Boy
Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark
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