(VII) Second Time in the Light

Felix stood in front of the mall, his violin case strung over his shoulder. He craned his next to look atop the tall glass front, anxiety coursing through his body. The moment he stepped through the doors, he would be in the spotlight. He would be walking into 'the stage.'

Trying to stall for time, Felix pulled out his phone. He went to his messages with Shane, clicking the camera icon with a light yellow background. Shane had texted while Felix was driving the car.

I'm there, I'll wait by the piano!

Felix let out a nervous, shaky sigh, glancing at the mall once again. It seemed intimidating, like it was trying to scare Felix away. As if it was telling Felix he wasn't brave enough. Putting his phone away, Felix took a deep breath, steeling himself. He was determined to prove the mall wrong.

Warm air encased Felix as he swung open the doors. It was somewhat quiet in the mall; the usual chatter was much softer than usual. A relatively low number of people were inhabiting the stores, strolling through the large pathways between shopping locations. Felix started to worry about how that would affect the crowd when he played, but shoved the thought aside. He was here to film a video. The live audience could be small.

Felix's footsteps seemed like mini earthquakes to him, the soft tap of their soles against the floor sounding like roaring thunder. He knew they were barely audible to anyone else, but the fact that he was making noise made him want to shrink away. He didn't want people to notice him yet. His stage confidence wasn't apparent enough to make him feel comfortable.

As he approached the piano, he spotted Shane sitting at the bench. He was focused on the piano, his fingers resting on the ivory keys. Felix approached silently so as to not disturb his playing. It was very basic playing, but it still sounded pretty. Felix waited a few feet away from the piano patiently for Shane to finish his song.

In the middle of playing, Shane glanced up, spotting Felix. He quickly stopped, a lopsided grin taking over his face.

"How long have you been standing there?" he asked, bright white teeth flashing.

"Only a few moments," Felix responded. "I didn't want to disturb you."

Shane laughed. "You wouldn't have disturbed much. I just barely started learning how to play piano."

"That's pretty good for very little knowledge," Felix complimented.

"My mom plays piano and tried to teach me when I was little. I didn't absorb the information well."

"It can be difficult to focus on that kind of stuff as a kid. Was very hard for me to learn the violin for a while."

"Do you play piano?"

"A little."

Shane gestured at the piano, standing up and stepping away from the bench. "The piano is yours."

Felix's eyes widened as he glanced around nervously. "Oh, well, I'm not really good. I mean, I'm kind of good, but not good enough to play in public."

"I played 'Mary Had A Little Lamb,'" Shane said with a grin. "I think anything you play will beat that."

Felix's fingers began to tap against the strap of his violin case. His eyes darted around the mall, scanning the groups of people walking around. They weren't paying attention to him at all, minding their own business as they strolled around the mall. He could feel Shane's gaze on him, waiting for him to say something.

Instead of responding, Felix gently set his violin down against the side of the piano. He stepped over the bench, gingerly sitting down on the fake leather. His hands rested on top of the keys gently as he scanned them. Racking his brain for a song, he took a deep breath before starting in.

It'd been a long time since Felix had played the piano. Back when he was first learning to play violin, Laurel also had him try piano. He had enjoyed it, but the violin was much more interesting to him. Despite making sure he focused on violin, Laurel consistently had him continue to work on his piano skills. By the time he graduated high school, he could play piano almost as good as violin.

Images of Laurel's faces flashed through Felix's mind. He panicked, his fingers slipping and hitting the wrong keys. Felix glanced at Shane with a nervous, apologetic smile, shaking Laurel from his mind. He envisioned the notes of the piece he was playing, blocking any more memories from entering his head.

Eventually, Felix slowed the piece to a stop, letting the last notes ring out for just a moment before cutting them off. A small applause came from the few people that had stopped to listen. Felix smiled at them, his chest fluttering a little with pride. Once the crowd dispersed, he turned back to Shane.

"Sorry for the mess-up," Felix apologized. "Got distracted for a second."

Shane looked at him quizzically. "Why are you apologizing for messing up?"

"Well...because...me messing up detracted from your enjoyment of the piece," suddenly, Felix felt on the spot. His shoulders subconsciously hunched forwards slightly, trying to subtly move to a more defensive position.

"It didn't take away any enjoyment, it was still really good. Besides, basically everyone messes up."

"But I shouldn't be messing up. I mean, you took your time to listen, the least I can do is do my best."

Shane's confused look made Felix begin to panic. He was talking too much, being too weird. Shane clearly didn't understand the weird logic that ran through Felix's mind. Felix decided to shut up before Shane got so off-put that he simply decided to stop talking to Felix forever.

"Um, so, what were your thoughts for filming?" Felix asked, clearing his throat. Shane didn't respond for a second, staring at Felix with a pondering thought. But then it suddenly disappeared, replaced by another lopsided grin.

"Alright, so I'm thinking we just do something similar to last time," Shane said, pulling out his phone as he moved to the other side of the piano. "But this time I'll get a better spot set up, that way it looks more professional."

"Okay. Just regular songs?"

"Just regular songs," he confirmed. "You can do a little dance, nothing at all, or whatever you want, honestly. It's going to be good no matter what, we just want to get it recorded."

Felix nodded in acknowledgment, reaching around the piano to grab his violin. He opened the case on his lap and pulled out all the components he needed. He tried to ignore Shane's staring as he tuned the violin, adjusting the strings and bow accordingly. Something about Shane's gaze was slightly off-putting in a way that Felix couldn't identify. It wasn't uncomfortable, per se, but there was something that put him on alert. Something that made him aware of his every move.

Once the violin was ready, Felix stood up from the piano. He moved to the same position where he played last time, watching as Shane quickly pulled out a tripod. Shane set it up alarmingly fast, his phone set and recording in the blink of an eye. Shane watched the screen for a second before giving Felix a thumbs up.

"You're good to go," Shane announced, grinning comfortingly. Felix nodded, smiling back awkwardly.

"Any song suggestions?" Felix asked. Shane pondered it for a moment before snapping his fingers.

"How about Fireworks, by Katy Perry?" Shane suggested. The corners of Felix's lips tugged up.

"Really? Katy Perry?" Felix said, amused. Shane glared playfully.

"Yes, I like her songs, okay? She's a very good singer."

"She is. I just didn't think you'd be a fan of her."

"Who'd you think I'd like, then?"

"I don't know, Metallica?"

Shane raised an eyebrow. "You didn't think I'd like a very popular song from an incredibly well known Pop Artist, but you thought I'd like a heavy metal band?"

"I have no clue, I was just saying a random band!"

Shane shook his head, chuckling. "Just play it, Judgy-Pants."

Felix rolled his eyes, muttering to himself, "I am not judgy."

Felix put the violin under his chin, setting the bow against the strings. He stopped for a moment to consider the chords before quickly pulling the bow against the strings. What sounded like a correct chord rang out, which Felix hoped was the right chord.

He tapped his foot for a moment, trying to find the beat. Once he felt it in his chord, he began to play the intro to Fireworks. It was relatively simple, just a repeating beat, and while Felix worried that it would get harder once the vocals came in, it actually became easier. He could hear Katy's voice in his head, singing the words along with the violin.

Instead of focusing on the camera, Felix tried to pretend it didn't exist. He closed his eyes and focused on his hands. If he was going to do his absolute best for the camera, he needed to be as laser beam focused as possible. Felix silently thanked the medication he'd taken in the morning before returning his concentration to the strings.

When the song finished, Felix slowly opened his eyes to a large crowd of people. They were gathered behind Shane, and began to clap loudly once they knew Felix was done for the moment. Shane flashed a wide grin to Felix, nodding for him to keep going.

The hype that was beginning to build in the crowd filled Felix's chest. A deep, hidden ego inflated itself in Felix, giving him confidence, just for the moment. It felt strange, to feel so sure of himself. To feel like he was one of the people standing on top of the world.

Felix tried to chalk it up to the fact that he was being filmed. Millions of people might see it, meaning there would be so many people that would think Felix was good. He locked his gaze onto Shane's, staring into his bright green eyes. In his grin he found even more confidence, an additional boost in his emotional high.

Even though it was just his imagination, Felix could almost see a spotlight aimed right at him and his violin. He was in the limelight. And despite the nerves hidden deep beneath his elation, he couldn't have been happier.

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