The past few days were excruciatingly slow and agonising. My once vibrant world became a dull monochrome existence – like seeing in black and white. Every time I heard the songs we used to sing together, tears flooded my eyes, and I was transported back to a time of joy and love that seemed so far away. Your lilies, the same ones you gave me with such tenderness and care, sat on the table – a twisted, smouldering mess that resembled nothing of their former glory. The sight of them broke me in two, and my heart ached for a love that was once pure and unadulterated.

You made me hate the things I once loved. The things we shared – the movies, the restaurants, the music – all felt tainted and spoiled by your absence. Even the simple act of walking through the park or taking a stroll on a sunny day felt hollow and meaningless without you by my side.

I didn't know if I should wish that I never met you, or if I was better off for having had your love. Had. It was a painful and confusing thought that plagued my every waking moment. Had I never met you, I would have never experienced the love that once filled me with immeasurable joy. But now that it was gone, I was left with a void that resounded with pain and longing.

I mourned for you and grieved for your presence as if you were a lost limb that I could never regain. It felt as though a piece of me had been amputated, and the phantom pain that followed was almost unbearable.

And I wished the causer of all this would feel the pain. I wished their life would feel slow, agonising, black and white like mine. I wished they could feel the weight of loneliness and the yearning for something they could never have back. The pain that they caused left me hollow, numb, and broken, and I wished they could feel the same – if only for a moment.

[KIM SEOKJIN'S LETTERS]

Dear Nari,

There are still so many kisses and laughs and nights and days and risks worth taking and road trips and books to read and poetry to write and pictures to take. My heart trembles with sorrow, Nari. I no longer wish to wander this world alone. Your absence leaves a void that only you can fill. Please, come back to me. I miss you more than words can express. Please.

From your love, Seokjin.