Twenty-Two

The road was bumpy under Mrs. Zavala's tires, shaking the entirety of the car as it moved. Lilith's – no, she reminded herself, Jack's – necklace jingled from its spot at her throat. The cross pressed into the spot between her collarbones, cold against her skin. A foul energy flooded her blood.

"So," Mrs. Zavala began, "that was uh..." She paused. "You changed your mind pretty fast."

"More like A-my dad did." Lilith sighed and leaned against the window. The hairs on her arms raised. "He's a bit flighty lately."

"I would be too," Mrs. Zavala replied. "If Jacklyn was in your place... I wouldn't let her out of the house." She looked over. "Not that I don't trust her, mind you. But... Being questioned by the cops would be enough. I wouldn't want her to suffer a fate worse than that."

Lilith nodded, forehead squeaking against the glass. "I can understand that."

"You have it a bit luckier than her, you know."

Lilith nodded again. "I know."

"It's hard enough trying to raise her... trying to keep our culture intact. I can't imagine how your dad does it."

He doesn't. Lilith's breath fogged the window. He tries to, but he doesn't. She painted a finger over the glass, making nonsense sigils with her thumbnail. He's no more permanent to me than the fog than this window, though he tries to be more.

Droplets of moisture rolled down the glass. Lilith fixed her gaze to the world outside her window.

"I'm sorry you couldn't stay for longer," Mrs. Zavala said in her thick lilt. "Maybe next time, hmm?"

"Yeah," Lilith replied. If there is a next time. She fingered the cross at her neck and sighed. "I'll have to call Jack when I'm able to." If I'm able to.

Mrs. Zavala took one hand off the steering wheel and rubbed Lilith's arm, bringing the scent of cinnamon with her. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah." Lilith pat her hand and squeezed, never once looking her way. Her stomach twisted at the thought of seeing the other woman's concern. "I'm just tired and kind of upset." And I'm probably going to die soon... But, yaknow.

"I know where you're coming from," Mrs. Zavala replied. "But try to see where your dad is in all of this. He's trying, as a parent."

No, he's not. He's got a sadistic asshole in his brain. Just like I do.

"Raising kids isn't easy." The station wagon rolled to a stop in Lilith's driveway. "Try to take it easy on him... okay?"

Lilith reached for her seatbelt. "Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Zavala." And goodbye, probably. She curled her fingers around the chain at her throat, took a deep breath, and slid her seatbelt into its slot on the wall. "Thanks for the ride."

"Any time, Lilith..." Mrs. Zavala's hand fell to the space between their seats. "I mean that."

"I know." Lilith chewed at her bottom lip. "Again, thanks." Then she popped the car door open and stepped out, never once looking Mrs. Zavala's way. Right before she slammed the door shut, Mrs. Zavala called out, "I'll see you later!"

No, you probably won't. The door closed with a thud.

Tires scratched against the gravel. For just a moment, Lilith turned to watch the station wagon pull out of the driveway. She waved goodbye with two quick shakes of her hand. Then, gravel crunching under her feet, she took slow strides for the front porch.

The door swung open just as she reached for the knob. Shocks of knotted blonde hair poked from all ends of Marlene's square-shaped face. Red scarred the whites of her eyes. Her lips were pale. Her entire body shook like roof shingles on a stormy night.

She grabbed Lilith's bicep and hauled her into the house. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Lilith stumbled on her feet, brain reeling. Marlene never swears... "At Jack's house," she said, each syllable tumbling off her tongue. "I thought I told you."

Marlene pushed the front door shut with both hands, body trembling. "Yeah, well, you didn't. I heard a commotion and came out here and the living room was trashed." She spun around, eyes wild and chest heaving. "Trashed, Lil. Like... I don't know, like someone had taken you or something."

Lilith folded her arms and looked to the floor. "Is that the first place your mind went?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I just." Her words were a flurry. "All I knew was that you weren't here when I went to check and then Russle came home and you still weren't and... and..." Marlene sank to the floor, wheezing. Her eyes widened, widened, widened, until Lilith thought they might pop out of her skull.

She took a closer look at Marlene's bedraggled features and frowned. Dark patches decorated her palms, corresponding with the smudges around her eyes. The neck of her t-shirt was dark – damp, presumably, like she'd been chewing on it.

Thunk. Marlene threw her head back and exhaled. "Where's Russle?"

"I don't..."

"Don't give me that. Please." Marlene came to just long enough to fix her with an icy stare. "I know he went to Jack's – I sent him off myself. I thought I told you to have them over here."

"I..."

"Why didn't you come home with him?" Thunk. "He went to her house. I know he did."

"Yeah..." Lilith rubbed the back of her neck, throat tight. What do I say, what do I say, what do I say? "He did stop by." A truth, sort of. "But he got a call, so I had to ask Jack's mom to bring me home." Abraxas's crimson eyes flicked through her brain. A lie, but one more harmless than the truth. Then she averted her gaze. "I haven't heard from him."

"Yeah." Marlene gazed skyward. "Neither have I. Neither. Have. I." With each word, she threw her head back against the door. Fingers curled around her knees, she hung her head. "I was worried, you know."

"Yes," Lilith replied, stomach knotting. "I realize that."

"Not just like, 'oh she hasn't come home in five minutes, I hope she's not in traffic' worried, Lil. I transcended that ages ago. First you disappeared, then Russle wasn't answering his... goddamn phone." Her voice squeaked. Marlene paused to pull her glasses off her face and wipe them on the hem of her shirt. Replacing them, she said, "I just... I thought the worst. I'm sorry."

Lilith shuffled back and forth on her feet, the knot in her throat growing. "I should probably be the one to apologize here, I think." Shivers surged up her spine. The words tasted bitter on her tongue – It wasn't my fault...

Was it?

The shivers returned. Lilith looked Marlene up and down as she fiddled with her shirt. Maybe this is my fault.

"Lil..." Marlene buried her face in her hands. "This has got to stop." Voice muffled, she pulled at her own hair and made a noise in the back of her throat. "It's got to fucking stop."

Lilith cradled one arm with the palm of her other hand, fingers curling around the sharp jutting of her elbow. The gnawing in her stomach turned to cold, hard dread and flooded into the rest of her in waves.

"I... Do you..." Lilith nibbled at her lip. Fuck it.

Head on her knees, Marlene sighed again. "Can you just... go to your room for a bit? Until your father gets home? Can you do that for me? Please?"

Seeing Marlene's crumpled form, Lilith slowly nodded, stomach sinking, and drifted for her bedroom.

#

Motes of dust floated in semi-stasis, illuminated by the streaks of sunlight through Lilith's window. She watched them from her spot on the floor, arms spread out and feet against the wood. All she could hear was her own gentle breathing. Occasionally, she could hear Marlene's feet padding around the house, but they were never in her direction.

Until it was.

Wood creaked outside Lilith's bedroom. Feet slapped against the floor. Lilith bolted upright, heart beating too hard in her chest. One hand went to her throat, clutching at the cross. She ran a thumb across the metal, but it did nothing to soothe her nerves.

"Uh..." Three rapid taps sounded against Lilith's door. "Lil?" Marlene's voice sounded from the other side, shaky and slurred.

Lilith frowned. Something is off. Then her gaze came to rest on the phone at her side. Jack had said an hour. Has it been that long already?

Her hands fell to her sides and she ran it over the grooves.

Marlene knocked again. "Lil? You in there?" Lilith heard her sigh and grumble something, but the words were inaudible. Then, "Please be in there..."

Lilith hauled herself to her feet. "I'm here. What's up."

"There's... Well..." Marlene tapped her foot. "You might want to come and see for yourself."

Lilith's stomach flipped at her tone. Dread sank its teeth into her stomach and clawed at her lungs. With shaky breaths, she crossed to the door and grabbed the knob. Electricity surged through her body. She threw the door open.

Marlene stood still, hands clasped in front of her and head dipped ever so slightly. She had cleaned up in the time Lilith had spent in her room; Her hair was brushed out and her glasses were free of tear tracks and smears. Even still, a distinct puffiness remained around her eyes which, to Lilith's surprise, were still a bright and brilliant blue.

Where is he?

"There's a..." Marlene put a hand to her mouth and coughed before continuing. "There's an officer on the porch. He said he..." Her nose wrinkled. "He said he had information about Russle." As she adjusted her glasses, Lilith saw the beginnings of tears gleaming in her eyes.

"Is something the matter?"

"Well..." Marlene's throat caught. "It doesn't sound good. He looked rather grim."

Lilith's stomach sank. "We should..."

Marlene nodded, reaching for Lilith's hand and pulling her into the hallway.

"Uh... Miss Briggs?" called a deep voice from the front of the house. Lilith yanked her hand out of Marlene's and stomped for the living room. Fire surged through her veins.

Alright, you little shit. What did you do now?

Tall, broad-shouldered Officer Nadeau stood in the doorway, all slicked-back hair and smarmy smile. Seeing his face and his shiny nametag again made her stomach bubble with rage. Something wriggled over her stomach, where Abraxas had punched her.

This should be good.

Fighting to keep a pained grimace off of her face, Lilith folded her arms, Marlene's hand on her shoulder, and cocked a hip. "Can I help you?"

Officer Nadeau pursed his lips and pulled his sunglasses down his nose, revealing eyes the color of blood from underneath them. The rage that sang in Lilith's blood turned to ice-cold fear. Ringing filled her ears.

"Hello, Miss Johnson."

"H-hello." She reached for Marlene's hand, only to find it was gone from its spot on her shoulder. With a hard swallow, she said, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I do believe you can." A pause. "Though, it entails you coming with me."

Lilith held tight to the doorframe, knees knocking together. Blood roared in her ears, pulsed in her fingers. As hard as she tried, air refused to enter her lungs.

Come on, Lil. In and out. Her gaze raked over his face. In and out. Just breathe.

"Now." Officer Nadeau slid off his sunglasses, folded them, and stuck them in his breast pocket. "That would be nice." His voice made the hair on her arms raise.

The world fell out from under her feet and she stumbled. Invisible hands wrapped around her throat, choking the rest of the oxygen from her. She collapsed on the porch, pain blooming across her kneecaps.

"We're not going very far, yaknow," he said, almost like an afterthought.

Slowly, the grip around her throat subsided. After a moment, her hands came to her sides. She had been choking herself, she realized.

Ashy, cracked fingers came into view as Officer Nadeau – Abraxas! - offered his hand to her. "Come on, Little Dove," he said. "You don't want to keep your darling brother waiting, do you?"

Numb, and against every sane thought in her head, Lilith took his hand. The red of his eyes melted away. Thick, grey tendrils of smoke burst from his body and wreathed around Lilith. The taste of ash coated her tongue.

"Lil?" A hand came to her shoulder. "Lil?"

Somewhere deep inside her brain, Abraxas fit into place like a missing puzzle piece. Sulfur filled her nose.

"Ms. Briggs, Miss Johnson... I'm afraid I have some bad news." Sorrow flitted across Officer Nadeau's features, laced with hints of suspicion. "We received a call a little while ago about Russle Johnson. He's been wounded – horribly."

Fingers – Marlene's, Lilith presumed – curled around Lilith's shoulder. Officer Nadeau's face fell further.

"W-where..." Marlene's voice was close to breaking. "Where is he now?"

"At the hospital, currently." With this, his hat came to rest over his heart. "Though it is quickly becoming a possibility that he will have to be transferred down to Seattle."

Marlene's nails dug into her shoulder. "It's that serious?"

Officer Nadeau nodded. "I'm afraid so."

Lilith swallowed, brain spinning. "What... happened to him?" Even as she spoke, red-tinged images flashed through her brain.

I don't think you'd like the answer, Little Dove.

"We think it was an animal attack," As Officer Nadeau spoke, more images flooded her. Blood welled from red-tinged jacket fronts. Russle's face flicked from gleeful to panic behind her eyes.

"We don't know what became of his assailant." Officer Nadeau placed his hat back on his head. "Or even what animal it was for certain, but the wound was... Quite deep."

And do you know who made it so deep, Little Dove?

Lilith's hands curled. Waves of heat flared from between her fingers.

"But he's still at the hospital here, right?" Marlene asked.

Officer Nadeau nodded. "Correct. But, again, probably for not much longer."

The wriggling sensation returned, lines of heat crawling through and over her naval. She could almost imagine the strange black veins in her skin rippling.

"Could we go see him? Before he's..." Marlene paused to swallow. "Before he's moved?"

"That's not a good idea, ma'am." He hooked his thumbs through the belt loops of his pants, frowning. "But by all means, you're welcome to try."

"Right..." Marlene's hand moved from Lilith's shoulder to down her back before sliding off. "Well. Thank you very much for letting us know. If you'll excuse me, Mister... Nadeau," – she mispronounced it as "Na-doo", much to Lilith's chagrin – "if you'll excuse us..."

With that, she pried Lilith's fingers from the doorframe and pulled her into the house. Numb, Lilith let her.

The moment the door shut, Marlene's face crumpled. A choked sob escaped her as she sank to the floor.

"We should..." She sounded like she'd swallowed a frog. "We should go see him." She stared up at Lilith through her glasses. "Don't you think?"

Lilith grasped one forearm, brain and stomach swirling. "We really should." But I can't afford to. She pressed her nails into her skin and grimaced.

Tick, tock, Little Dove.

Her words must have been the last straw, because the next thing Lilith knew, Marlene was sobbing at her feet. Unsure of what else to do, she reached out to pat Marlene's head. Marlene's sobbing filled the living room, interrupted only by her jerked movements as Lilith touched her.

"There, there," Lilith said, though it sounded robotic. A part of her reckoned she should be upset at the news – sad, at the very least – but instead she felt... Distanced. Like she wasn't in her own body, yet was at the same time. She watched herself repeatedly touch the top of Marlene's head; even her hair felt strange.

After some time, Marlene's cries dissolved into whimpers, then hiccups. Her glasses, which had fogged up, slowly transitioned from opaque grey back to glass.

Marlene wiped her nose with the back of her hand and shrugged Lilith off. Expression firm and lips pressed together, she pushed herself to her feet.

"The more time we spend here, the less likely we are to see Russle," she said. After pausing to clean her glasses on the hem of her shirt, she continued, "Go get ready. And make it fast. Please."

As strong as she tried to sound, Lilith could see the faint tremors that rocked Marlene's body. She took a deep breath and reached out with her mind, assaulted at once by a torrent of emotions. Memories - Marlene's, judging by their slight blue hue – swarmed her. Against the swirls of memory, Lilith pushed through and clasped Marlene's shoulder. The torrent stilled for a heartbeat, the only movement coming from each snapshot in Marlene's life, before they whirled again, faster and with an audible hum. Lilith's hair rose around her head. Wind whipped her cheeks. Through the blur of images, Lilith couldn't see Marlene's face anymore.

"Lilith?"

A sound like shattering glass pierced her ears and the spell was broken. Faint pink spotted Marlene's cheeks as Lilith regarded her.

Winded, hollow, and a bit perplexed, Lilith let her hand fall.

"What are you doing?" Marlene asked. "Go get ready." Though her gaze was firm, it was softer and less sullen than it had been just moments before.

Lilith blinked several times. What did... Did I...? She shook her head. "Right."

Each movement was made on autopilot. She saw herself spin on her heel and move for the hallway, saw her feet carry her into her bedroom. Saw the door open, heard it close behind her, but not a single action felt like her own. Soon enough she had her shirt over her head. It flew with a rustle to some corner of the room, a sound she heard but could not acknowledge at first.

The fog in her brain refused to lift even as she looked down at her stomach and traced each thick, pulsing vein that was drawn on her skin. They moved to the tune of her heart – ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump – black with faint blue light around the edges.

"Took you long enough to come home."

This voice, too, she recognized. Her skin crawled at his dulcet tone. A part of her cringed like she had reached her hand into a vat of live snakes.

Long, icy fingers crawled up one arm and gripped her shoulder. Another hand brushed her hair out of the way to regard the back of her neck. Wintry breath fanned over her cheek as, once again, Abraxas leaned in close to her.

"Though," he said, "I suppose it can't be helped. I had my own things to take care of." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "It doesn't matter, anyhow."

With that, his hand trailed from her shoulder up to the column of her neck, wrapping around the thin gold chain of her cross. "This is new."

Lilith blinked, her breath coming out in uneven bursts that clouded the air around her. Goosebumps raised along her arms. Since when was her room so cold?

"Honestly, Little Dove. It's like you're trying to annoy me." His nails brushed against her skin. "When I pointed to the cross," -- He pulled at the chain until the small golden emblem was in his fingers -- "this wasn't what I meant."

Lilith bristled. "Could've fooled me," she said out of the corner of her mouth. "Being as vague as you are."

"What's there to be vague about? This" -- he tugged at the chain -- "can't protect you. Not with something like this in the way." His nails graze over the thick veins on her stomach. "You're already corrupted. Don't you see?"

"I don't--" Her words stopped short, turned into a half-choked scream as Abraxas took her flesh in his fingers and pinched. Her back arched. White-hot waves of pain brought her to her knees. Had he not let go of her necklace, Lilith was certain it would've snapped.

"I don't know if you're aware of this, Little Dove, but people aren't supposed to have markings like this." As he spoke, his ice-cold touch faded from her skin. The ringing remained. "They're not supposed to be able to read minds or touch memories or see things like me."

Through her pain, Lilith tipped her head up and stared at him with as fierce of a stare as she could muster. "That fucking hurt."

At this, his smirk dropped. Long, tapered fingers grasped her by the chin as he squatted down and leaned into her face. "Did you listen to anything I just said?" he asked, a pitch higher from his regular gravelly tone. Flames danced in his eyes. Lilith couldn't tell if it was heat that filled her cheeks or a sheer chill. She couldn't respond. Each word she could think to say died on the tip of her tongue, filling her mouth with an ashy taste.

"Your silence makes you all the more angering." His thumbnail jabbed into her mouth, scoring across her gums. A short-lived moan of pain was strangled out of her when, with a speed she couldn't quite comprehend, Abraxas moved his hand from her mouth to her throat. "You must love me when I'm angry."

His eyes were two gleaming garnets in the sea of black that was threatening to overtake her. Abraxas hoisted her into the air without so much as a grunt. The ringing in her brain grew stronger, mixed with the sounds of her own choking. She knew she was struggling, but it felt like she was watching herself through a pinhole. Even the heat around her throat was beginning to chill.

"So close, Little Dove." He lowered her to the ground, his grip slackening just enough for her to return to earth and force air into her lungs. Then he released her completely.

"What're you--" she paused to sputter and cough, her voice an unfortunate croak. "What're you talking about?"

Instead of replying, he grabbed her forearm. "We've wasted enough time." Then he yanked her forward.

Lilith stamped her foot on the ground and fought against his pull. "Give me some fucking answers first!"

A scream erupted out of her throat before she could stop it. Abraxas's head had swelled as she spoke, the skin turning black as ink. Two sets of horns sprouted from the sides of his head. When he whipped around, there were six blood-red eyes that regarded her.

His fingers, morphed into eagle-like talons, released her, and Lilith scrambled backwards with her heart in her ears. Her eyes blinked rapid-fire, unable to comprehend what it was they were seeing.

Just like that, he was back to normal. Or, at least, as normal as he could get.

"You're going to come with me, Little Dove." His words were like snakes on her skin. "Whether it's as you are or as little pieces of soul lodged between my fucking teeth, I really don't care." He huffed, his stare enough to bury her into the ground. "So, are we going to do this the nice way or the difficult way?"

Lilith's knees knocked together as she forced herself to stand again. Her heart – and the blood in her ears – roared.