Twelve

Lilith threw herself down on the living room couch, kicking off her shoes and letting them fall to the floor one at a time. Marlene sat on the end of the couch and watched her.

"Russle said you could watch a movie if you wanted to," she said. "Or that, if you didn't, it'd be a good idea still for you to stay in the house."

"Because I was at the police station," Lilith replied, glowering at the ground. "All they wanted was to ask me some questions. He's acting like it's the end of the world."

Marlene twiddled her thumbs. "Well, to him... it's..." She looked away and clenched her jaw. "Lilith... he lost his son four months ago and now his daughter is a suspect in a murder case."

"Not a suspect," Lilith replied. "They wanted to ask me questions about her. About Anika."

"A-Anika?"

"My therapist."

"Right. The point remains, though, that both of his children have fallen to some length of peril. It makes sense that he just wants to keep the both of you safe."

Lilith narrowed her eyes. "So you agree with this?" she asked.

"No, absolutely not." Marlene clenched her hands in her lap and shook them, her bottom lip between her teeth. "But I'm trying to explain it to you, so that you can understand him."

Lilith turned her head and buried her face into the couch cushion. "I don't want to try and understand him."

"Then... you won't get very far."

"And I won't care either way." Lilith wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth. "He's acting irrational!"

"And so are you."

The words stun, but Lilith fought back every impulse she had to respond. A great pressure built at the back of her skull and she closed her eyes, snorting into the cushions.

You can stop the nonsense, Lilith. You can stop it all...

She jolted and lifted her head. Marlene stared to the floor, her head swaying to and fro.

I didn't think that...

But I did. We can stop this together, Lilith. You can show them all wrong.

Her pulse quickened and her nails dug into her skin. The pressure built in her skull until she thought her brain would explode. Lilith forced herself upright.

"I'm going to bed," she announced before bending over, grabbing her shoes, and marching into the hallway. Marlene didn't respond.

Lilith walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Then she took uneven steps towards the mirror.

Black-rimmed eyes stared back at her when she looked at herself. Her brown skin looked like it'd taken a few runs through a desaturation machine. She reached up and ran a hand through her hair, shaking the limp and oily strands.

God, I look like shit.

Her heart skipped a beat when she looked above her head. Staring at her were two red orbs, orbs that glowed and sent chills down her spine.

Hello, Lilith.

Lilith yelped, throwing herself back. She landed on the toilet in a less-than-graceful heap. With a pulse that beat like thunder inside her ears and shaking hands, she planted her palms on either wall beside her and got back up. The spheres were gone when she looked once again at her reflection.

Lilith spun around. The lights stared down at her from several feet above her head. They were gone when she blinked.

I... I should call Jack...

Something touched her thigh and moved its way upwards, trailing over her ribs and one of her arms. It came to a stop at her cheek.

Don't be afraid, Lilith. It's not you that I want to hurt.

Lilith couldn't help it. She screamed. Curled up into a ball, her pulse thundering in her ears, she closed her eyes and rocked back and forth. Behind her eyelids, she could still see the same red eyes that had stared at her moments before. Its words reverberated around her brain, repeating again and again until it blended into a harsh cacophony.

Don't be afraid, Lilith. It's not you that I want to hurt.

She covered her ears and continued to rock, fighting down her urge to whimper in protest. Every time she breathed, it was like sucking through a straw.

What's the matter, Lilith? Are you frightened, little dove?

"Go away!" she cried, choking on the lump in her throat. Above her head, the sink turned on.

Open your eyes, Lilith.

"No... no, I can't! No..."

Over the roaring of the blood in her ears, Lilith could vaguely hear the sound of footsteps from outside the room. No doubt Marlene would be there any moment to relieve her. Then they stopped. Lilith expected a knock or even for her name to be called...

And yet nothing came.

Humans are such trivial things, don't you agree? Its chuckles echoed inside her skull. They think they can all save each other. But there's nothing here to save... Cause you're already being saved. An invisible hand ran through her hair and Lilith shivered, curling her knees closer to her chest. They poked her forehead.

Don't you get it, Lilith? I am the answer.

"What... answer..." By now, tears pricked the corners of her eyes and as the moments ticked by, it was harder and harder for her to not burst into tears.

To the question that you can't ask yet. The one that makes everything fit together, little dove.

Lilith curled tighter into herself and sniffled. "Leave," she whispered. Then, stronger, "Leave. Now!" She threw out her arms and sat up, keeping her eyes closed all the while. "Leave me alone! Whatever you are, I don't want you in my head!"

A finger lifted up her chin. A wave of heat washed over her, smelling of sulfur and something darker, something earthy and cold. It reminded Lilith of snow or ashes.

You don't get a choice whether I stay, Little Dove. But you can decide whether to accept me or not.

She slammed her fist into the sink behind her, satisfied at the sound of her crunching knuckles and of the sudden wave of pain that hit her. "I will never accept you."

Never? Little Dove... you know someone special, don't you? Someone important to you. Tell me, Dove. Do you remember Oliver?

Lilith's eyes snapped open and she found herself staring into the face of a man not much older than she was. His eyes were the color of fresh blood and had slitted pupils, much like a cat might. Around his neck was a strand of teeth and spikes. Some of the teeth still had pieces of their gums lodged in the nooks and crannies. Try as she might, Lilith couldn't look away.

"Hello, Little Dove."

A scream tore its way out of her throat and Lilith lashed out with one foot, aiming for the side of his head. The man raised an arm and swatted her away, much like he would with a fly.

"G-go away!" Lilith yelped. When she tried to scramble backwards, she hit her head on the sink instead. Stars swam in her vision.

He frowned. "Oh, and here I thought you would be interested if I mentioned your brother... Damn." She shifted to punch him but he caught her fist in one hand and pushed it away. "Can you please stop trying to hit me? Face it, Little Dove. I'm bigger and smarter and faster than you are, and that's something you can't change."

"O...Oliver..." Lilith curled her knees to her chest, disgusted by the smug smile that grew on the man's face.

"That's right, Little Dove. Your brother. He died, didn't he? Not just that, he—"

Lilith slammed her hands over her ears and shook her head. "No! Don't say it. Don't you dare say it."

"Suicide, was it?"

Slowly, Lilith lowered her hands. The look she gave the man was full of malice and fire, as if she could burn him where he crouched. But if he noticed, he didn't say so. Instead, his smile grew and he extended a hand.

"Little Dove, you can call me Abraxas."

"And you can go to Hell."

Abraxas sat back, his mouth open in a large O. Then he covered his mouth, as if it would hide his false shock.

"But Little Dove... that is where I came from." He looked skyward and hummed something under his breath. "But that will come later. For now I must go."

Several thoughts raced through her mind and for a moment, her mouth moved. No sound came out until finally, in a flurry of words and air, she said, "What are you?"

Abraxas winked. "I'm not human, that's for sure."

She blinked and he was gone.

"Lilith?" Marlene knocked on the bathroom door. "Are you alright?"

"I-I'm f-f-fine!" Lilith replied, teeth chattering. Her thoughts raced faster than she could comprehend them.

"Are you sure? I thought I heard you scream..."

"That was nothing. Just thought I saw a mouse."

"A mouse?" Marlene jiggled the doorknob. "Where?"

Lilith's heart skipped a beat. "Uh..." Shit. "I was just imagining things. There's no mouse!"

"Okay..." Marlene let the doorknob go. "If you're sure."

"I'm positive." Lilith wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. "I'm fine, honest."

As she heard Marlene's footsteps retreat once more, Lilith sighed in relief.

Are you always such a liar, Little Dove? Abraxas tsked. A liar isn't the sort of person to be, you know.

Lilith grit her teeth and clenched her hands into fists. "What do you want with me?" she whispered. What are you doing? Talking to an illusion?

When Lilith spun around, Abraxas was once again in front of her. Two small fangs poked out from between his lips as he smiled. He was gone the next instant, leaving only the clatter of teeth and steel in his wake.

#

She couldn't sleep that night.

The last words that Abraxas had told her echoed through her head and no matter how hard she tried to fight it, the words kept coming back.

A liar isn't the sort of person to be, you know.

"But I'm not a liar," she whispered to herself. "I'm not... I'm not, I'm not, I'm not." But no matter how many times she repeated it, it didn't dispel the inkling of doubt that grew in her gut. Come dawn, that small shred had grown into a vortex that nearly swallowed her stomach whole.

You feel that, Little Dove?

Despite his taunts, Lilith didn't see him all night. Not even when she pulled herself out of bed at six the next morning did he appear. When she stumbled into the bathroom and examined herself in the mirror, he wasn't there, either.

What was there, however, were two dark rings under her eyes. Her skin looked more ashen than it did brown. Even her eyes – which, in her opinion had always been plain and brown – seemed almost lifeless.

I've had one night with a monster inside my head and I already look like shit.

And like that, he had returned.

Little Dove, Little Dove. "You think me a monster?"

Lilith's heart skipped a beat. She spun around, at once catching notice of the teeth-and-steel necklace. As she reached back for the sink to steady herself, her entire body trembled.

"I-I-I did-didn't mean it l-like th-th-that." She hiccupped, her cheeks warm as shame flooded through her. Abraxas stepped towards her.

"I think that's exactly what you were saying." Abraxas was close enough to poke her in the chest now. "I think you meant to call me a monster. And I think you're lying to yourself." He caressed her cheek, tracing her lips with his thumb. The look he gave her made the hairs on her arms stand on end. It wasn't the kind of look one human (or whatever Abraxas was) gave to another human. This was animalistic.

"Remember what I told you last night? About your little habit? Lying doesn't become you." He pulled down her bottom lip with his thumb nail, pressing the other four nails on his fingers to her cheek. With a nervous swallow, Lilith tried to step back. Abraxas dug his nails into her skin.

"Ouch!" she said around his thumb. "What the hell! Stop!"

Abraxas cocked his head and let her go. "It's funny you should call me a monster," he said. He looked down and Lilith saw his pupils contract. When he looked back up, they were mere slivers. Lilith shuddered and he put a hand on her arm.

"Are you frightened, Little Dove?" he asked. "Are you scared of what I could do to you?" He made a noise in the back of his throat and pouted. "I could make all of your wildest dreams come true..." Once again, his nails were buried into her skin. "However, I could also destroy you with very little effort."

Lilith swallowed, her mind whirling. Pain shot through her veins and she could barely feel her legs anymore. All she wanted was for the voice in her head and the man before her to disappear.

"Wha—what do you..." She swallowed again. "What do you want with me?"

Abraxas chuckled. "All in good time, Little Dove. For now, I just want you good and scared."

He stroked her cheek with his free hand and Lilith shuddered again. She closed her eyes, mouth moving in a silent prayer for him to just go away...

She opened her eyes when she realized she couldn't hear anything. Abraxas was gone and he had left five small gashes in her arm. As she stared down at the cuts, part in horror and part in gross bemusement, blood began to pool in the crevice where his thumb had been.