Six

She called Jack first.

Sat on the floor inside Michael's cramped bathroom, knees to her chest and her back against the door, Lilith listened to the dial tones and prayed Jack would answer. Michael sat on the side of his bathtub and held her free hand in his.

Jack picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Jack."

"Lilith! What's—"

"Longsly's dead." Lilith closed her eyes and rest her forehead on her knees, tightening her grip on both her phone and Michael's hand. He squeezed back.

"What?"

"You heard me." Lilith clenched her jaw and huffed. "My newest therapist got murdered today, some time after I saw her."

"You're... You're kidding." Jack's horror registered loud and clear to Lilith's ears. "You sure?"

"Check the news."

"I will. I'll – Hey! Cole, what the fuck are you—"

"Dude, shut up and give me the phone."

"Jack, should I go?"

"No, just give me a sec—Cole! Give it back, douchebag!"

While Jack continued to protest in the background, Cole sighed into the phone. "Hey."

"Hi," Lilith replied.

"I saw on the news. I... I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." She let Michael's hand go and messed with her hair. "It's a shame; I was starting to like her."

Cole swore, his voice far off, and something slammed. Lilith guessed it was a door. "That's good, I guess. Though it'd only been two visits."

"It's more times that I'd seen anyone else."

"True."

Michael came to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against his chest.

"Cole, do you think Jack's mom would mind if I came over?"

"I don't see why not. Um... I'll go ask."

"God damn it, Cole! Give me the phone!"

"Fuck off! Lil, I'll call you back in a few, okay? And um... if you get here tonight, we need to talk."

Lilith swallowed. "Oh... Okay."

"Don't worry, it's not bad this ti—Jack! Jesus Christ, let me go!"

Lilith shook her head and hung up, letting the phone drop to the floor. Michael rest his hand on her knee.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.

Lilith shrugged. "Not unless you can bring people back to life." She said. When she closed her eyes, it was Oliver's face that swam in her vision.

Damn him. Damn all of them.

Her phone buzzed and she answered without looking up.

"What?"

"Mrs. Zavala said you can come over. She saw the news."

Dammit. "Oh?"

"Yeah. She said she was gonna call your dad, but I think I convinced her not to."

Lilith laughed, but it sounded hollow. "Thanks," she said. "Um... I'm with Michael at the moment."

"Then why'd—"

"Because I'll be over soon, Cole." She massaged her forehead with her hand. "Can you have some food ready or something? I haven't eaten all day."

"I'll do you one better."

This time, her laugh was genuine. "Awesome. Thanks." Then she hung up again.

"You're leaving soon?" Michael asked. His tone made him sound almost hurt. Lilith winced, scrunching up against his chest.

"You could come with for a bit, if you want to." She grabbed for his shoulder and closed her eyes. All at once, a crippling wave of sadness washed over her. She pressed her lips together and buried her head into his side.

"I suppose... Hey, are you alright?"

Lilith didn't reply, fearing that if she did, her voice would crack and betray her. A lump formed in her throat and as hard as she tried to swallow it down, it wouldn't go away. She clenched both hands into fists and felt Michael's shirt bunch up.

"Lil." He grabbed one shoulder and gave her a light shake. "Lilly. Hey, are you okay?"

She shook her head and sniffled. Tears filled the corners of her eyes.

"Michael..." Her voice shook. She curled into him and sniffled again. Her head lay on is stomach.

"Yeah?"

"Oliver..." The name felt like a bundle of thorns on her tongue. "Oliver is gone, right? And then there was Sonya... and Erik, and now there's Anika. People I don't know are dying, but they all knew me. They all read my files, accepted the bullshit answers I fed them... They believed in me, didn't they?" Her throat closed up and her shoulders shook as she began to shake. An unsteady hand went to the small of her back.

"Oh, Lilly..."

"And..." She hiccupped. "And what if people I do know start dying next? What if next time, it's you or Cole or Jack or Marlene, or... Or..." she curled herself up tighter and released her hold on his shirt, reaching instead for her hair. Lilith grabbed herself by the roots and pulled until Michael took her by the wrists and gently pulled her hands away. She whimpered all the while, incapable of saying anything more. Her vision swam whenever she opened her eyes.

"Lil..." He rubbed small circles into her back and clucked his tongue. "Lil, maybe it's all coincidence."

She chuckled, the sound strangled and raw in her throat. "Yeah. Coincidence. Like how my brother killed himself without any warning or note or anything. It must have been a mistake... it must have been..."

Michael didn't speak for several moments, moments which Lilith spent trying to pull herself back together. She swallowed several times before, having just realized what she'd said, bolting upright.

"I..."

"Shh." He bent to wrap his arms around her but Lilith shrank back. She jumped to her feet and pressed herself against the door.

"I should go." She looked down to her feet, then to the far wall. One hand wrapped around the doorknob.

"No, wait. Lilith—"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that. I... I need to go."

"Lilith—"

She threw the door open and back-tracked into the bedroom, nearly tripping over herself in the process. Michael watched but made no move towards her.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. Then she dashed out of the room.

#

Lilith walked for half an hour before she made it to Jack's doorstep. She shivered as she knocked, hands shoved into her armpits. As she waited, she rocked back and forth on her heels and tried to ignore the fact that there were still tears on her cheeks and a lump in her throat.

When the door opened, it was Mrs. Zavala who answered. She gave a thin smile when she saw Lilith.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi, Mrs. Zavala. Thanks for letting me come over."

Mrs. Zavala nodded. "Does your dad know?"

Lilith shrugged. "I didn't tell him."

"I see." She stepped to the side and held an arm out. Lilith looked from her extended hand to her face with narrowed eyes.

"Do you think you could tell my dad? I really want to be left alone right now."

Surprise flashed across Mrs. Zavala's face, but she nodded at last and waved Lilith into the house. Lilith followed grudgingly and headed straight for the staircase.

"Thank you," Lilith repeated. She didn't think Mrs. Zavala heard her.

When Lilith got to the top of the staircase, murmured voices floated up from the floor below. The thunking of footsteps followed after the conversation died.

Well, they know I'm here now.

Lilith crossed to the bathroom before anyone could come to the stairs. As soon as she was inside, she shut the door, locked it, and opened a drawer to keep the door closed for good measure. People moved around on the other side, but she ignored them even when they called for her. She went to the mirror.

Her brown eyes were thick with emotion. Trails of black ran down her cheeks from where her eyeliner and her tears had mixed. The eyeshadow she'd worn was reduced to little more than green smears across her eyes, nose, and cheeks. The whites of her eyes were red instead. Lilith cocked her head to the side.

I look like shit.

Across the room, the doorknob turned, then rattled.

"Hello?" said Jack from the other side. "Lilith?"

"Not decent!" Lilith replied at once. Her stomach clenched and she fought the urge to slap her hands over her mouth.

Jack tapped the door. "Can I come in anyway?"

"I look like a clown vomited on me." More like my face, specifically.

"Meaning you got wasted or you were upset. Either way, I'm coming in."

Lilith heard Jack's keys jingle. The lock turned and the door opened half an inch before being stopped by the open drawer.

"Lilith..."

"Can I wash up first?"

"No. Open the door, dammit."

Lilith growled and crossed the cramped room in two strides. The drawer slid shut and Jack pushed herself into the room.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," Lilith replied.

"Want a hug?"

"No."

"Want to talk?"

"No."

Jack reached for her hands. "You've been crying, Lil. You're obviously upset. Is it the therapist?"

It's her. It's her and my brother and every person on this fucking Earth that can't stay alive or resist the urge to kill each other, dammit. It's all of you. Lilith repressed this thought with a grimace, at one realizing how it would come across. Above all, Jack was a realist; no doubt she'd have some explanation – no matter how harsh or outlandish – for all of this.

Instead, Lilith shook her head and took a step closer. She wrapped her arms around Jack's waist.

"Jack... I don't know what to do." Her voice didn't crack this time. Lilith was unsure if that was a good thing or not.

"I know, sweetheart." Jack rubbed her back with one hand, using the other to lift Lilith's chin. "But hey, it'll be alright. None of this will fix anything but... It can't get worse from here."

"Can't it?"

Jack huffed and pushed Lilith's head onto her shoulder. "It can't – it won't. God is never cruel enough to give you what you can't handle, dear. You just need to wait it out."

"I..." Lilith bit her tongue and nodded. Together, they sank to the floor. "Okay."

Jack ran her hands through Lilith's hair, her nails brushing against her scalp. She murmured the entire time, until Lilith looked up at her.

"Do you guys have ice cream?" she asked. Jack's eyebrows knit together.

"Ice cream?"

"I don't know. Nevermind. I just figured that it'd help or something. I don't know. Ice cream isn't going to fill the hole, is it...?"

Jack shook her head. "Unfortunately, no."

"Damn." All at once, Lilith crumpled into Jack's lap. Heavy sobs wracked her body and she clung to Jack's knee.

"He's not coming back," she choked out between sobs. "Is he?"

"Who?"

"Oliver."

"Oh..." Jack continued to stroke Lilith's hair. Neither girl spoke for several moments, allowing the silence to give way to Lilith's tears. She didn't stop crying until Jack shifted, which she guessed meant that Jack wanted to get up. She pushed herself to a sitting position and wiped her face with the back of her hand, averting her gaze from Jack's.

"I started crying while I was still with Michael," Lilith said, looking to her hands. Black and blue streaks covered her skin, making her fingers look like over-sized bruises.

Brown, blue and black don't go together, she noted.

"Did you?" Jack asked.

Lilith nodded. "I shouldn't have done that," she said. "He's a friend. He's a fun time. But he... I don't need him to support me. None of you need to support me."

Jack tsked. "You may think that, but that doesn't make it true."

Lilith wiped her hands on her jeans. "I don't need him, anyway. We have fun together, but I don't want to rely on him."

"I know."

"He likes me, too... And I don't know if I like him."

"I know."

"And until I know, I can't let him get anywhere near me. Not close like you and Cole are. You're my best friends. He's... I don't know what he is."

Jack took her hands in hers and ran her thumbs over Lilith's knuckles. "He's support."

"I don't need support."

"Stop trying to get me to talk in circles. He's support and you're actively pushing him away."

"You very well know why."

"We've established that."

"We have sex. There might be something beneath that, but I'm not going to go searching for it."

"You don't have to like him in order to let him support you, you know." Jack sighed. "What makes him different from me? We've had our moments, too. We have fun. We rely on each other. How is he different?"

"I..." Lilith pulled her hands away. "I don't know. It just feels wrong to let him close to me."

"You say that about everyone."

"But it's true about him. It's better to keep him at arm's distance. If we just have casual sex and are distant friends, everything works. But if I let him close and something goes wrong..."

Jack tucked a strand of Lilith's hair behind her ear. "What could go wrong?" she asked.

"I don't know. Dad could die. You could die. He could die."

"We're not going to die."

"But you don't know that." Lilith sat up and swatted Jack's hands away. "I don't think anyone I know will die, and suddenly three people are dead in as many three months. I barely knew them and they all died anyway. Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

Jack averted her gaze, resting her chin on her fist. "Well, yes, I do suppose it's a bit odd. But what of it?"

"I don't know. And that is my problem."

"So what do you purport that we do? Lock ourselves inside until everything gets solved?"

"I don't..." Lilith paused and brought her knees to her chest. "I don't know anymore, Jack. Maybe it's best if no one gets involved anymore."

"And leave you alone?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean... Agh!" Lilith buried her face in her hands. "I don't know anymore, Jack! That scares me. It fucking terrifies me sometimes that I feel so helpless. I couldn't save my brother..." She frowned and lifted her head, folding her arms as she did so. "I want to go back to before I got my powers. That's when everything fell to shit."

Jack's eyes widened and her eyebrows lifted. "You think this has something to do with you?"

"Maybe..."

"No." Jack rose to her feet before bending over and pulling Lilith up as well. "No, absolutely not. That is the most moronic thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

Lilith flinched, stomach knotted. "Excuse me?"

"You say a lot of outlandish things, dear, but this is the worst. You're trying to place blame on yourself when there's not any blame to place. What goes on in that head of yours, anyway?"

As if you'd care to know. Lilith bunched her hands into fists at her sides. "Maybe I'm thinking rationally for once."

"Or maybe you're losing it. Come on, let's get you a drink."

"I'm not thirsty." Lilith plopped herself back onto the floor, bruising her backside as she did so. She looked away. "I'm staying here until you stop insisting that I'm crazy."

Jack clapped her hands together. "Lil, I say this because I love you. Oliver is driving you fucking nuts."

"You would know."

"Maybe I do. Maybe you just need to sit down for once in your life and breathe, dammit!"

"And maybe I don't want to!" Lilith's hands trembled and her voice tightened. "Maybe I just... need to solve this all myself." She fell to her side and curled into as tight of a ball as she could make herself. Her anger evaporated, leaving a hollow feeling behind in the center of her chest.

"With all due respect, that's completely delusional."

"Maybe it is," Lilith replied. "But maybe it's right."

"If you think I'm going to abandon you, you're sorely mistaken."

"I never said you had to."

"Good. Because I'm not. Cole won't, either."

"Maybe he already has."

Jack threw her hands into the air with a huff. "And maybe frogs will grow wings. Are you listening to yourself? Do you hear the things coming out of your mouth right now? You're trying to make yourself a victim here and that is not okay." She grabbed Lilith's shoulder. "Now sit the fuck up, leave this bathroom with me, and come get a fucking drink. I'll be damned if I let you sit here and be miserable and act like a brat."

Lilith sighed, the empty feeling growing. "Fine," she replied. She got to her feet and crossed the room, her limbs like blocks of lead when she tried to open the door. The instant her hand touched the knob, she jolted. A chill ran down her spine and static crackled in her ears.

It won't be long now.

Lilith didn't know where the words had come from, but they filled her with apprehension and made her stomach clench. She pushed the voice aside and left.