Seventeen

He didn't remember waking up again, only the sound of his own neck snapping and the blackness that had lapped at him. And yet... here he was again. Standing. Breathing.

Everything was tinged with red. Every sound Oliver heard sounded as though it were coming from underwater. Each voice was too distorted to pick apart. Each time someone moved, it was like they were moving at half speed.

"Wait!" he wanted to call when he saw Lilith get shoved into Rei's arms. "Don't leave me!"

But he couldn't say a word. Invisible clamps held his lips together and fire scorched his vocal chords.

What's... happening to me?

Against his will, his nails pushed their way past his fingertips. Embers erupted from the site and danced through the air, hypnotic and dangerous. Only then did he feel the heat in his palms. His sight zoomed in on Raphael.

"Magi!" he tried to scream, just as he lunged forward. Each moment was an eternity for him, though he was sure he dashed in at full speed. Maybe he was. Maybe that Scourge had warped it all.

They collided in midair when Raphael's wings knocked Oliver to the side. He watched every agonizing second as he flew slow-motion into the fireplace. Every brick he hit had its chance to imprint itself on him. Oliver was sure he'd wake up later with a map of bruises on his back.

Eons later, one of Raphael's winged hands lashed through the air and grabbed Oliver by the neck. He was too weak and dizzy to feel the pressure the Magistrate man must have used on him, nor the weight around his neck as Raphael hauled him into the air. This didn't stop the faint tugging sensation in Oliver's feet, though, nor the blackness that crept into the corners of his vision and moved inwards.

Raphael's lips moved, but his voice was too distorted by the time it reached Oliver's ears. Oliver could've sworn he heard his name, though. The reds in the room grew brighter.

This isn't a rampage. I have no clue what this is. Shouldn't I have blacked out by now?

Before he could dwell on it any further, his mouth opened of its own accord. "Come back, Little Dove!" he found himself saying – though the words carried an edge to them that raised the hair on Oliver's arms.

That's not my voice. These aren't my thoughts... With sudden clarity, it hit him. This is just like when I died.

He still remembered the smell of his own blood, thick in the air. He could remember the last moments he'd had in the bath tub, just as it had opened. He still remembered the way it felt to float, half inside the tub and half out of his own body. And worst of all, he could still remember the way Lilith had screamed.

He took over me then, and he's taking over me now.

Tingles shot across his brain and seized him by the spine. His entire body went rigid. A warm gust of moist air tickled his ear.

Oh, Abraxa's voice purred in his ears, a body to inhabit? And just my size, too!

The muscles of his shoulders rippled and a smile split Oliver's face in two. Stones dropped into his stomach. His tail lashed back and forth behind him.

"So, Magic Man," he found himself saying. "Care to dance?"

One of Raphae's wings hands pulled back and clenched into a fist, which he drew back and aimed straight at Oliver's head. It was stopped a hairs-width from the tip of Oliver's nose, quivering as it pushed against an invisible force. Raphael's eyes flashed with a murderous gleam and air hissed through his teeth.

Light stabbed Oliver in the eyes and everything went white. Then black.

#

Something hard cut into his cheek. The bottoms of his palms stung, a pain which worsened as the ground quaked under him.

His eyes opened to grey. Rocks bit at his skin. Tiny stones of blue rained from his eyelashes when he blinked. When he moved to push himself upright, every muscle screamed in protest. After several failed – and painful – attempts, Oliver finally managed to get his hands out from under him.

Liquid seeped from his hairline, crimson when Oliver swiped at his face and examined the results. Scratches laced the palms of his hands, most crevices filled with browning rivers of blood and rock. Russet flakes snowed from his skin.

Rocks... blood... He inhaled, though being face-down on the ground made the action difficult – as did the pain that shot from his ribcage.

This is more like it.

With that, Oliver planted his palms against the pavement, hissing as heat seeped through his skin and his nerves tingled. Gravel nipped at his hands. The cold air wrapped gnarled hands around his ankles and planted firm hands into his back.

He sighed and pushed against the ground, knees dragging on asphalt. His tail flicked back and forth between his legs. A sharp pain stabbed him in the temple.

"God damn..."

Oliver inhaled and gazed skyward. Clouds of pink and orange floated across the sky, turning purple as they dipped behind the horizon. Blackened trees stabbed out from the ground, intermingled with the faint rays of predawn sunlight.

No, not blackened, Oliver decided after taking a moment to squint. They were just dark.

The road stretched out before him, seemingly endless in both directions. It rattled under his feet as a car from the other side whizzed past him, a blur of red paint. The driver honked as they passed.

Red... Oliver spat at his feet. I'm sick of the color red.

Though the car seemed to slow just a bit as it went by, the driver didn't stop.

Oliver stepped out of the road and lay back on the grass, hands folded behind his head. Stones weighed his eyelids down, blurring his view of the sky above him. The wind raked over him and rustled the grass around him. The world behind his eyelids turned warm and yellow as the sun shone down on him.

Just what happened to me?

Choppy pieces of memories came to him. A silver picture frame sat on top of his old mantel, the faces inside of it blurred past recognition. The cracking of his neck filled his ears. Lilith's tear-tracked and anguished face flashed in his mind's eye, one hand extended towards him, before it dissolved again with a hushed whisper.

Gravel crunched from somewhere far off. The images faded away and Oliver slowly opened up one eye.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here," said a voice.

At this Oliver bolted upright, heart thudding. More stones clicked together as a shadow stretched out over the road. Oliver's gaze flicked up to the shadow's owner.

"Hey, Shiro," he said after a moment of staring.

The vampire in question folded her arms and cocked out a hip. With her bottom lip between her elongated fangs, she sighed and said, "You know, your sister is quite a trip."

"She really is, isn't she?" He returned his gaze skyward. "I didn't realize how much I'd missed her until..."

"You saw her again."

He nodded. "Exactly."

"I suppose it can't be helped." She was adjusting her glasses when Oliver looked back to her. "You both seem quite..." She stopped. "Never mind. How long have you been awake?"

"Uh..." Oliver paused to reach into his pocket and exhaled a sigh of relief when he felt the familiar casing of his phone. With the flick of his thumb, he flipped the top open and examined the screen. "I'd guess a few minutes ago. It's five in the morning now and I don't remember anything past..." He gazed up again. "Yesterday."

"Sounds like quite the gap." Her boots crunched as she stepped closer. "So, what do you remember?"

"Lots of red." Oliver pat the grass next to him and waited for Rei to sit down. "It was like trying to watch everything through a fish tank, kind of... if everything was half-speed."

"Sounds about right."

"I saw her face... I saw her, Rei." His breath hitched. "She was there." The words raced through his brain, faster than he could catch them. "It's been four months and she saw me again and--"

Rei's hand hit his shoulder. "I know."

He swallowed, throat dry. "I didn't think it would be so scary, but then there she was and so was I and it's all been so surreal..."

"You're confused," Rei said. "That's okay." She took his hand in hers. "You've had quite the night, huh?" she asked as she brought his knuckles into view. He didn't even realize they were bleeding until Rei brought his hand to her mouth and pricked the sore spots with her teeth.

"I can't remember anything. Just Lilith."

"Which is fair enough. She was there when Abraxas attacked."

Oliver froze. "Rei..."

"I know."

"He was--"

"I know." She set their joined hands on her thigh and licked at her fangs. Her irises flashed red.

"Rei... Do you understand what that means for me?"

She blinked. "I do," she said after a moment. "And given your history, a simple evaluation wouldn't cut it." She tightened her hold on him.

"I'm going to get ranked," he replied, voice hollow. He slumped forward and yanked his hand out of hers.

"What are you going to do?"

"Not much I can do, is there?" Oliver set his forehead on his knees. "That's permanent. That's..." He stopped and licked his lips. "That's for forever. My chances of turning are higher with that on my record." He looked up and exhaled, heart heavy. "Shiro... my life is over."

With this, he fumbled again through his pockets and pulled out a box of Marlboros. After sticking one in his mouth, he lit the end with his thumb and took a long drag. Neither of them said a word.

Rei's hand returned to his shoulder. "You could run."

"They would find me. Hell, you might even have to help them!"

"I could go with you."

At this, Oliver narrowed his eyes at her and blew a cloud of smoke in her direction. "That's stupid. Why would you do that?"

Rei fanned the smoke away. "Because I care. And even if I didn't go, I could still help you."

"That would get you ranked, too."

She twirled a strand of his hair around her finger. "It wouldn't be too bad. Rank Yellows are just cautionary – more for looks than anything else. Rank Orange puts you under surveillance..."

"And Rank Scarlet means arrest, if they catch you. And running away would automatically put me there." He blew out another cloud of smoke. "You know it would."

"Humans disappear all the time, Ginger."

"But we're not human anymore."

"Don't remind me."

"And besides," Oliver continued, "it's not like I can just leave my sister behind."

"Oliver, you're--"

He squeezed his eyes shut. "I know," he replied. "Don't remind me. But if I'm going to get ranked, I might as well protect her. She knows I'm here, anyway."

"But that was an accident. I'm sure the Magistrate is already working on protected custody for her... or, at the very least, clearing her memory of all of this."

Tendrils of smoke curled from the end of his cigarette and floated towards the asphalt. Beside him, Rei shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said after several moments. "Those aren't very good options for her, I suppose."

"They aren't."

"But maybe they're what's best for her."

He clenched his jaw, took another drag, and didn't respond. A car barreled by, throwing wind and dirt into their faces.

"I uh... told her to stay at a friend's house, for the time being." Rei smoothed out her skirt. "I mean, if Abraxas attacks again, it won't protect her. And once the Magistrate decides what to do... the point is, she's not alone in this, Ginger. And you don't have to be, either." She took his hand again and ran her thumb over his scraped knuckles. "And she asked me to take care of you. Did you know that?"

Despite himself, Oliver chuckled. "It doesn't surprise me," he replied as he ground the butt of his cigarette into the grass. "She always cared."

"Just like I do."

A faint smile tugged at his mouth. "I know."

Rei leaned against his shoulder, her head settling on his collarbone. The tips of one earring dug into his chest.

"We could run," she said again. "Right here, right now. Hitchhike, maybe. Hail a taxi and just... go."

"The problem with that is that I'm broke. And they'll find me. And what about Sully?"

"What about him?"

"He needs you, too."

"But doesn't it at least sound enticing?"

He shrugged. "A bit, I suppose."

"Think about it: no ranks, no Scourges, no asshole bosses breathing down our necks."

"All we'd be missing is Sully," Oliver replied.

"And I'm sure he'd want to come with. Maybe."

"And even if he didn't, it wouldn't be too bad, I guess." Oliver stopped and replaced his Marlboro box in his pocket. "But what about Lilith? Our world and her's... it's not exactly the same."

Rei kissed his shoulder. "Our worlds have their differences, but she can see us at the very least."

"She's always had a knack for that."

"And if she can see us, she can touch us," Rei added. "We could go somewhere no one has ever been before. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"It sounds... scary."

They sat together, Oliver watching the sky turn lighter with every breath he took. Rei's breathing turned lighter and longer and when he looked over, her eyes were closed. Her chest gently rose and fell. A strand of hair waved across her face as a breeze rocked the both of them.

Oh, Shiro... Do you even know what you're doing?

He mashed the heel of one hand into his face and groaned. Already his fingers itched for him to light another cigarette.

I can't run away. I just can't.

Through his fingers, he regarded the head of the rising sun on the horizon. The sky was cotton candy, a myriad of shades of blue and pink and purple.

He held her hand for a while longer before nudging her back into consciousness. When she was awake and blinking, she looked around and yawned after a minute.

"We were talking about something," was all she said as she rubbed her eyes.

"That we were," he replied. His heart clenched in his chest and beat an irregular rhythm.

"It's getting light out."

Oliver nodded. "That it is."

Rei squeezed his hand and smiled. "And the sky is especially lovely this morning."

"I suppose so," he said with the dip of his head and a faint smile.

With a hesitant lilt to her voice, Rei asked, "What if this was your last sunrise?"

He paused and tightened his hold on her hand. The sun watched them both, the first rays of its warmth soaking into Oliver's skin.

"You know, if this was my last morning, it wouldn't be too bad," he said with a chuckle. "As a human, my last morning was much like this one... I think. It was calm, at least. Warm." As he spoke, a faint breath of wind tugged at his hair. "I didn't really pay attention to it, really. I was too busy focusing on my... intent."

"To die," Rei offered.

He coughed and pulled at the collar of his shirt. "Yes. To die. But even still..." He watched the clouds as they crawled across the sky. "I suppose it was a morning just like this one."

"Did it hurt?"

Oliver shrugged. "I really don't remember," he lied. It was easier than trying to explain the truth.

"And..." Her hands slid up his forearm, warm despite the chill around them. "Do you regret it?"

He closed his fingers around her hand. "No," he replied. "I don't think so." It's not like I even had a choice.

"I, uh..." Rei shook her head. "I wish I remember what it was like before I died." Her hands fell to her lap. "My girlfriend... I wish I could remember her face."

Oliver wasn't sure, but he swore he could see the beginnings of tears in the corners of her eyes.

"We were going to get married one of those days... Or as close as you could in that time, I guess. It wasn't legal like it is now." Rei folded her hands. "Sometimes I wonder if she ended up in heaven, like she always told me she would... At the very least, I hope she's happy where she is. And even still." She paused to sniffle. "Sometimes I regret her. Without having ever met her – without having fallen in love with her, I mean – who knows?" She chuckled dryly. "Maybe I would've never died."

As she set her head back on his chest, her tears soaked through his shirt and dampened his skin. The spots chilled within moments.

"Even with that in mind," Oliver began, the words thick on his tongue, "would you have done any of it differently?"

"No," she replied in a shaky voice. "Probably not."

"Then that's all that matters here."

"Do you regret going to see her?"

Oliver arched an eyebrow. "Lilith?"

"Yeah."

"Nah. I care about her. I..." He inhaled. "I needed it, honestly."

"Even with all the trouble it caused?"

"Even with all the trouble." He gave a dry laugh. "She's always been trouble."

Rei brought his hand to her mouth and dusted kisses over each knuckles. In the quiet that followed, the gears of Oliver's mind ran at frantic speeds. His heart skipped a beat as he looked over to her.

"Shiro, is running the only option for me?"

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, his hand perched a hairs-width from her mouth. "It might as well be," she replied.

"So should I?"

"Well..." Rei kissed the tip of his thumb and brought his hand to his chest. "That's up to you, don't you think?"

"Yes, I guess so."

"Does that mean you've decided?"

The sun was above the trees now. Oliver riffled through his pockets for his phone and flipped it open.

Seven thirteen AM. With a huff, he snapped the phone shut once more.

"Yes," he said, stomach dropping. "I think I have."