Liliana's POV

Julian sat next to me in DADA. Professor Gilderoy Lockhart was pacing before us while Hermione and some stupid girls were hanging on his every word. From the desk beside ours, Draco eyed the large, covered, and rattling cage on Lockhart's desk. Hmm...I wonder what's inside.

"Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most- Charming-Smile Award," he began.

Julian rolled his eyes and muttered, "A complete idiotic fool completely wasting my time."

"...but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

Lockhart stopped, as if he was waiting for something. I looked around. A few students were smiling weakly. Draco looked bored.

Julian had a comeback for everything Lockhart had to say.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done."

Julian: "Wasted tons of galleons on it, you mean."

"I thought we'd start today with a little quiz."

Julian: "How lovely."

"Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in..."

Julian: "My eyes are too good for them."

I giggled at every single one of Julian's responses. Unfortunately, Lockhart thought that it was meant for him as he sent a big smile my way.

"Toad's teeth," Julian mocked. I sniggered, only this time quietly so Lockhart wouldn't hear.

A paper landed on my desk. Julian levitated his quiz with his wand, and dropped it on the floor. "This filth is dirting the desk," he muttered.

As he did that, I scanned through the questions.

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite colour? What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?

"Don't even look at the pile of rubbish," Julian snapped, levitating my quiz paper as well. "It's not worth our time." In turn, he did the same to Draco's as well.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected and rifles through the exams.

"Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered my favorite colour is lilac."

Julian: "Disgusting."

"But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. Good girl."

Julian: "Mudblood lover."

Suddenly, Lockhart's expression darkens. "Now...be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourself facing your own worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here..."

Julian: "You're the only harm that had befallen on us."

Lockhart turns slowly to the cage. "I must ask you not to scream. It might...provoke them."

He lets the tension build, then whips off the cover. Inside the cage, were...cornish pixies?

Seamus laughs. I smile, not because of the pixies, but because I like Seamus. As a friend, of course...he's like my only Gryffindor friend. Considering Harry as half.

"Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnigan, but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them now!"

Lockhart flings open the cage. Instantly, the pixies rocket about, spraying ink bottles, breaking beakers, and shredding books.

In a swift movement, Julian gathered up our untouched books, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me out the classroom. Together, we ran back to our common room.

Once we were in the safety of the Slytherin common room, Julian let go of my hand and handed me my books.

"That was the stupidest professor I've ever come across."