"I'm uptight most of the time
This reckless mess is so brand new
Do you do this often
I pray you're not lost."
crave~ruth b.

LAST MINUTE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES WERE BEXLEY'S FORTE. She loved October, not because it was her birth month but because it was Halloween. Bexley loves Halloween. Especially Halloween movies. A movie marathon was made a must for their family. All three kids could quote Hocus Pocus and loved to debate whether Nightmare Before Christmas was a Halloween or Christmas movie. The caramel corn and apple cider were able to set the mood.

Her mother would joke there was candy corn running through their veins because the family managed to finish three bags of the sugary treat. She wouldn't want Bex to be going through their favorite holiday wallowing in self-pity. But here she was looking in the mirror through the one dollar sunglasses she got from a thrift store. She managed to put together a relatively decent outfit similar to the charismatic main character in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In case you've never seen the movie, it is, in fact, Ferris himself.

Ciara unironically started playing Danke Schoen from her Spotify playlist, making Bexley cringe at her best friend applying red lipstick. She was going as Amélie, who also had her self-titled movie.

Bex made a face of disgust when she watched her friend blob her lips using a dirty tissue in front of her. Ciara stopped herself before she put her lips on the material, "What?"

The Kodi girl raised her eyebrows at her friend before sitting up from her previous leaning against the arm of the chair she was sitting in. "I don't think I have ever seen you care so much about your makeup."

"Well, you should know I rather adimit when it comes to Halloween," Ciara clarifies to her friend in a sarcastic tone while rolling her eyes. "I just thought I would look decent considering I'm the DD."

Bexley gave her a tight-lipped smile, "It's not my fault you drew the short straw."

Ciara gave Bexley another unamused look, "There are two of us."

"And now you know how I felt last time you dragged me to a party."

The comment made Ciara groan at her friend. Letting Bex know she was still annoyed at the childish idea that revolved around which friend was luckier. Then she realized what happened at the party, "Well, if you were shit faced, you wouldn't have had a conversation with Tom."

Bexley let out a huff, "A conversation that has made my life more stressful than the last week of college."

"We both know that's bullshit. You secretly like the attention."

"You haven't paid attention to our friendship for the last eight years because the attention I'm getting from the internet is the last thing I want."

Ciara scrunched her face at the comment in the offense; they relaxed her face realizing what she said came out wrong, "Not the over-obsessed fandom, you dipshit. The attention Tom gives you."

"We barely talk. I think I have only seen him once today now that I think about him. The only time I hear him speak is when we are filming a scene and conversations he has with the other crew members."

"Need I remind you why you are in Cleveland, dumbass? You may be pretty but standing around isn't why the Russos hired you. And besides, I saw you two talking after that scene. I wore that god awful pink coat today."

"Kept you warm, didn't it?"

Ciara gave her a look.

"He only asks questions about where he needs to be. I don't know what else to tell you."

"Oh, I don't know. How about, 'Oh Ciara, he complimented my graphic tee, and I was just too socially awkward to say anything back.' That's why you don't talk because you need to grow a pair after what happened with-"

"Please don't bring him up."

Ciara notices Bexley starting to fiddle with the sleeve of her jacket. Something she did when he was brought up. She probably did it that one day a few weeks ago after her strange interaction with Tom. "Look, all I'm saying is just give Tom a chance to be friends. You can still be professional while also obtaining a friendship."

"You and Harry keeping it professional?"

Ciara stopped looking in the mirror and glared at Bex, "Fuck you if you think I would ever be with a ginger."

"Who knows, you did have a crush on Richie from Happy Days."

Ciara groaned at her friend's comment, "Don't remind me." She looked down at her phone that just dinged, saying they need to leave if they wanted to make it on time.

Luckily they arrived just as the party started to pick up with people laughing and music playing from the speakers by the DJ table towards the room's back. Bexley pulled her jacket closer to her body crossing her arms, looking at the different array of costumes that scattered the rather large room. She felt the pull of Ciara's hand on her sleeve, making her stumble, catching her footing as she followed behind her friend, who seemed to be heading straight for the bar area. "Ciara, I hope you know DD doesn't stand for drunk driver. We both know the bar isn't the best place to go first."

The girl with the black beret ignored her friend's comment as she directed her to stand next to her at the wooden table that ended right below both of their chest. "It's not for me, dumbass it's for you."

The rather cute bartender walked up to the girls slinging the towel in his hand over his shoulder. He kind of looked like a young Nick Miller from New girl except his eyes were a vivid hazel color, "What can I do for you ladies?"

"Three shots of vodka and a can of soda," Ciara said with a flirtatious smile. She found him just as attractive as Bexley did.

"Vodka," Bexley raised her eyebrows.

"Pardon my french, Ferris. But I think you're more of a Cameron because if I were to stick a piece of coal up your ass, you would have a diamond within two weeks."

"Thank you," Bex said playfully, wanting to play with her friend who thought the comment would offend her. As if right on queue, the bartender set the cab of Coca Cola down in front of Ciara and put the two glasses down in Bexley. She grabbed them rather quickly because her hands brushed against his. She looked up at him, and he chuckled playfully.

"My shift ends in about half an hour if you want to hang out after," He said, giving her a wink before attending to another guest at the party.

"Fuck Bexley, you attract everyone to you," Ciara stated, annoyed as she opened the tab of her soda can. "If you don't take his offer, I will."

She stared over at the Bartender as her friend aimlessly looked at the clear liquid in front of her. She looked at Ciara, who motioned for her to drink them. Bexley sighed, bringing the first small glass to her lips. As it glazed the back of her through, she coughed at the burning sensation that grew within seconds after drinking the vodka.

"Shit, has it been that long, Bex," Ciara asked her as she brought her drink to her lips.

Bexley scrunched her face as it took a couple more seconds for the feeling to go away. She picked up the other shot and retook it. This time was not as wrong as the first but still had a kick to her, causing the girl to cough. The third one went down, smothered thank the first two. Bexley pressed her lips together, hoping she would sense the familiar feeling of being buzzed. "How long does it take for it to kick in?"

Ciara shrugged, "A a couple of minutes. I don't know."

"Can I have three more in that case," Bexley hollered at the cute bartender and looked back at her smiling before he nodded?

Ciara hit her, "Shit, don't overdo it."

"Well, I'm not "underdoing" it. So, bottoms up," Bexley said as she grabbed the three more shots the sexy bartender at down in front of her. Ciara rolled her eyes. They both talked for about twenty minutes, and Ciara started to notice a change in Bexley's mood. They both didn't see the boys making their way over to them.

"Hello ladies," A broad accent said from the other side of Ciara, causing her to almost choke on her drink.

Ciara was aggravated at the younger Holland for sneaking up on her at the most inopportune moment. "Harold, what a pleasure seeing you again. It's not like we were with you earlier today."

Bexley noticed Harry's obnoxiously yellow costume making her scrunch up her face. He had a cheap wing on with a red sweatband around his head. "Nice head of hair, Harry."

"Missing my brother, I see, Bexley." He leaned against the top of the bar looking over at her.

"You two are scheming something, and that makes me want a few more drinks, " She motioned to the bartender.

Harry raised an eyebrow at her, "How many has she had?"

Ciara let out a long sigh, "Well, so far six. She doesn't go out much."

Bexley gulped after she finished the second glass of the three in front of her, "Give me a break. I think I need a couple more give me something sweet."

"You are my last drink of the night," the attractive bartender said to Bexley making her blush slightly.

"Easy tiger, don't go breaking your never go behind the bar rule," the bartender's face dropped when he saw Tom standing beside blue eyed girl. He took a sip of his sixth pint. "Hello Lexi."

"One Maui Island Breeze coming up," the bartender said backing up grappling the half full bottle of vodka processing to making Bex's drink.

Bexley looked over at the man, unimpressed. His wig was outrageous, and she was annoyed at his choice in calling her something that wasn't her name. She groaned, "Nice try, Tom. That's not my name."

"I think it has a rather nice ring to it," he flirted back. Ciara and Harry exchanged looks listening in on the two's banter.

"I'm not drunk enough for you to try and flatter me, Holland."

"How many drinks have you had?"

Bexley thought for a second, looking back at Ciara, "a couple shots, but I just ordered one more." The bartender sat the drink in front of her. She gave him a smile. "You, Nicolas, just made my night."

"That's not my name," he mumbles loud enough for her to hear him.

"Too bad you look like him. Not that you would watch New Girl," she teased back.

"Tom watches New Girl," Harry yelled out from the other side of Ciara, making everyone turn to him.

"I wasn't talking to Tom, bimbo," Bexley groaned. "Now let me hit on this bartender in peace."

"Bexley, Harry's a dude, and walmart Nick Miller is gone ," Ciara stated before sliding the drink Bex was sipping a little too fast, "I think that's enough."

Bexley rolled her eyes taking the straw that was still in the drink out of her mouth throwing it like a little kid, "How would I know if Harry was a dude? It's 2019." She grabbed the glass that was almost empty drinking the rest of it.

"My brother is indeed a dude. Not a cool one." A third voice came from on the other side of Harry throwing both Bex and Ciara off, making their heads whip to the side. It was Sam, the other Holland twin other than Harry. Not that there are ever more than two twins.

"Samuel," Tom exclaimed, "Lovely of you to join us."

"Who are you, the queen," Sam scoffed, taking a sip of the glass he held in his hand.

"No, but I am Spiderman."

"Fuck you, Sam," Harry pouted. "And Tom if I hear you drunk ass say that on more time I'm leaving both of you for McDonald's."

"Ugh," Bexley groaned, "I could totally use a Big Mac right about now."

"Bloody hell Bex you told me you couldn't stand them the other day," Harry said taking another sip of his drink.

"That's because when you ordered them on door dash you asked for extra onions, who the fuck ask for extra onions."

The soft sound of a guitar strumming filled the room. It changed the vibe of the room quickly. Tom cut off his brother before he could continue the argument with the Kodi girl. "I think you owe me a dance Lexi."

"That's not my name Tomathan," she said blankly. She turned his direction and realized the close proximity there was between the both of them. Unfortunately for Bex the first thing her eyes found on Tom's face were his lips but it was only for a millisecond and she quickly flickered back up to his eye. His soft, milk chocolate, puppy dog ey-

What the fuck, Bexley thought to herself, it's just a dance. Not some sappy teen eighties rom-com. It's not like she hasn't wanted to interact with Tom. He's not going to do anything to her, because it wouldn't.

To Bex's relief he jerked his head back at the parody of his name in amusement, "Tomathan thats new, but that's not going to stop me from asking you to dance. Like I said you still owe me one."

She rolled her eyes pushing herself form the counter losing her valence slightly. She felt Tom catch her arm but she quickly pulled away from his touch straightening her jacket and clearing her throat. "I'm good. I'll meet you there." She glanced back at Ciara catching the sight of both her and Harry smirking making them earn a glare from the slightly tipsy girl.

Bexley rolled her eyes,  "Why do I feel like you planned this?"

He took her hand placing it on his shoulder and taking her other hand into his. He gave her a smile looking down at her. Bexley, however could not return the favor and finally was able to get a good look at his wig laughing a little obnoxiously making his amused look fall. "What?"

When she was finally able to catch her breath whipping a tear that managed to fall."I cannot take you seriously in your party city wig."

"Would you prefer my Justin Bieber wig?"

Bex lifted her hand from his shoulder grabbing the blond mess off frilly plastic taking it off of his head making him flinch. Bex let out another laugh, "I think your shaved head looks better than the Zoolander mullet." She slipped off the red sweat headband giving it to him.

"Close," Tom laughed. Bexley gave him a blank look. "Have you never seen Dodgeball?"

"No, I just know Vince Vaughn is in it."

"And Zoolander himself," Tom made an expression that was clearly him trying to make Bexley feel dumb for not knowing the late night comedy.

Bexley gave him a glare.

"Very funny Holland."

Tom scoffed looking away. "Last name basis. I think I should  start calling you Bueller."

"A fan of the classics?"

"When I was filming the first Spiderman. Jon, the director-"

"Tom I know who he is."

"He made us watch all of the movies John Hughes directed."

"Was Ferris Buellers Day Off your favorite."

"I personally like The Breakfast Club. It made detention seem so exciting."

"There is nothing about detention is exciting." Bexley suddenly caught the scent of a platter of nachos some one carried but the dance floor. Maybe it was her slightly tipsy state or the fact she did consume a little too much alcohol in the last hour but she need ed something to eat. "Speaking of breakfast I'm starving"

Tom stood in disbelief as he felt Bexley's arms fall to her side as she turned to make her way towards the spice of the food. She turned around looking back at Tom with a look that told him she wanted him to accompany her. He stumbled behind her.

Her eyes scanned the table that had a potluck set out for the parties attendees that made Bexley's stomach churn. Tom stood behind her watching the girl decide on which american delicacy she should choose.

He was interrupted from his focus on her by a tap on the shoulder. He looked to his side to see a dopey eyed Sam with a pint in one hand and a half eaten hotdog in the other. There was mustard smeared on his face. Tom scrunched his face at the sight. Sam took a gulp of his pint, "You know mate, if I could thank americans for two things it would be for having bigger pints and the invention obnoxiously good hotdog."

"That's why you had to get my attention. To tell me you are in love with the mystery meat."

Sam took another bite of his hotdog, "No." His mouth was full, "I'm trying to say is your intentions with the american that you seem infatuated with at the moment are a mystery to me unlike my current food and alcohol addiction."

Tom looked over at Bexley, who was motioning for the girl in the poorly made costume consisted of a random colorful wig and an oversized t-shirt to make a plate of hamburger sliders for her. His eyes drifted towards the bartender from earlier who coincidently slipped in beside Bex. Tom tightened his jaw as he watched there exchange.

Bexley looked over at the figure that stood next to her widening her eyes at the sight of the man from the bar. He initiated the conversation, "Funny seeing you here. I thought your British boyfriend would be around." He looked around searching for the sight of Tom. He wasn't very observant.

Bexley thanked the girl and looked up at him smirking, "That's funny because I don't have a boyfriend. Though, I do know quite a few brits."

"You called me Nicolas earlier, can I ask why?"

"You look like a character from a television show, New Girl. It's a compliment."

"That's funny because I came to this party dressed as a bartender." He motioned to his brown flannel and warm jeans making Bexley cringe yet again at his attempt at flirting with her.

Bexley blinked looking away confused, "He's a bartender, who wear flannels."

"Sounds lame, don't think I could relate to someone like that," he replied sarcastically making Bexley let out a chuckle at his comment.

She grabbed a chip deciding she wasn't hungry. She glance behind her to see Tom talking to a very drunk Sam. She too the opportunity to do what Ciara has been telling her to do since they came to Cleveland: putting herself out there. Maybe it was the alcohol finally kicking in or it was the way his eyes shined in the light that was familiar to when she first met Tom. After all, She was extremely attracted to Jake Johnson why not hit on his doppelgänger. "Do you want to dance?"

"Do you want to take a chance, huh?" He asked with his voice raised. Bexley just noticed the volume of the song from the speakers with the base making the room vibrate.

Bexley rolled her eyes, "Dance, do you want to dance?"

"Oh," he laughed, "Sure."

She turned as he followed her to the dance area. Little did she know that Tom was able to spot the two of them from the corner of his eye. He patted Sam on his shoulder who was now in a sulk drunk state saying how much he missed his girlfriend saying he needed to get another pint. Which he did if he had to distantly watch Bexley flirt with some bartender that lived off of sarcasm and dad jokes.

Bexley squinted her eyes at that the lights and some of the younger adults that were dance a little too intense for Bexley's taste. Knock off Nick, Bexley's new found name for the bartender because she didn't know his, was stand behind her hesitating not know what to do in the sea of people. She looked up at him smiling nodding her head to the beat.

The speakers poured out some trashy pop song that Bexley didn't know the name of because she simply didn't care form the buzz of the tequila she had from earlier.

In fact, everything in the current moment seemed like a blur. Every thing from the lights to the sounds flowed into one as the night progressed. She heard someone caller her name and she came eye to eye with the bartender, at least the out line of him. "Woah, Bexley, are you okay," he said with his voice muffled as she continued to have the lights and music be the key factor in numbing her senses.

She nodded before placing her arms around his neck feeling the upbeat song switch to something slower. She felt him hesitate before placing his hands on her hips. The alcohol seemed to take control of her making her actions kick in before she could think. She placed her hand on his jaw that was sharper than she remembered compared to his round face. Closing her eyes pulling her face closer to his lips that were softer than she expected and tasted like carmex and beer. An odd combo that she secretly enjoyed. He kissed back for a short moment.

Bexley pulled back strangely feeling a little more sober than before looking up at him. Her heart stopped and she saw the messed up left eyebrow on his face making her scrunch her face.

She just kissed Tom.

I kissed Tom wtf I'm my own person.

That didn't happen.

Blink maybe it's just the bartender and your hallucinating.

She shut her eyes tight drowning out the noise that surrounded her then looked back up.

Buzzcut,

buzzcut,

buzzcut,

buzzcut?
Eyebrow,

A very fucked up eyebrow.

eyes,

brown eyes, no, orbs.

That's gross.

wtf stop.

You kissed you coworker.

Bexley-

"Bexley, I-," Tom started but she widened her eyes throwing him off guard. She felt the burning at the back of her throat.

Her eyes teared up and she made her way through the crowd having her eyes focused on the bright red neon "RESTROOMS↳" sign.

The next song that came on was more obnoxious than the first making Bexley more uncomfortable. A couple opened the door giggling but Bexley didn't pay much mind right then slipping in front of the next person in line slamming the door in their face making them cuss her out but she didn't pay much mind to them. Rushing straight to the toilet dropping down and hurling everything that she had had the last two days not feeling it stop for a good minute. Her eyes watered as she heard the voice of Tom as he continued pounded on the door to make her open it.

He was starting to feel is hands bruise not caring the guy that told him to move his relationship problems somewhere else. Tom looked at him glaring and telling him to go fuck himself and take a shit somewhere else. It felt like forever that his voice started to become hoarse, but it was only for a couple of minutes.

"Tom."

Bexley?

He turned to see a confused Ciara with Harry behind her. "What happened?"

"I-"

The door opened and there stood Bexley with her eyes blood shot. She had black water marks from her mascara and her face was raw from either the crying or her being sick from the alcohol she drank.

Tom wasn't the only one shocked at the sight, because Ciara was quick to help her friend that was partially indisposed both physically and mentally.

"What the fuck Tom," Ciara turned back to the older Holland brother with an angsty fuel in her eyes. It looks could kill Toms body would be shipped to the middle of the desert outside of Los Vegas with vultures circling around him ready to prey on his c-, "I leave you alone with her for a couple of songs and she is a full on train wreck."

"It's not his fault," Bexley struggled to say with the burning sensation in her throat and the deep need to sit down due to the dizziness she was feeling. "Don't cuss him out."

"I can drive you guys home," Harry offered.

Tom looked over at Bexley who was clearly in a distraught state, "Let me help you."

"No!" Ciara and Harry said at the same time.

"You need to stay here with, Austin Powers over there," Harry motioned to a same that was talking to a couple of crew members acting like Mike Myers in the infamous film.

"Fuck," Tom runs his hand over face as he watched his brother help Ciara and Harry carry Bex. "Let me help." They both gave him a glare, "I'll stay here but let me help you get her to the care before all of you need a fucking ambulance."

Bexley was on the ground leaning against the wall with Ciara by her side. She looked up at Tom making him have another wave of guilt was over him. He held out his hand and she took it standing up gaining her balanced. He placed his hand on her shoulder to help her gain her balance.

"Harry and I will get the car you two wait out front," Ciara said as she grabbed Harry's arm going towards the front doors not too far from them.

Bexley moved stared straight forward feeling almost numb with the boy she just played seven minutes in heaven with id minutes were seconds and it took place in a crowd of people on a dance floor. She brought her jacket closer to her chest crossing her arms still feeling the presents of Tom behind her.

He opened the door feeling the cool air hit his face awkwardly not knowing what to with his hands as he followed her to the front parking lot.

Say something you fucking c-

"I'm sorry."

Tom scrunched his eyebrows, "What?"

But before Bexley could say something else Harry pulled up in Bexley's Cherokee with Ciara sitting in the back seat ready to leave. The drunk girl stepped into the back with her friend.

"Bexley," she stopped and turned to look at him.

"Talk to you later Tom."

With that She closed the door and laying her head in Ciaras lap who was behind Harry who was driving felling the tears in her eyes weld up with tears hanging onto the arms of her friend.

To was left in the cold of the night watching the car leave the parking lot with weight in his chest and the buzzed feeling of alcohol leaving his body almost entirely letting his mind process what the fuck just happened.

a/n: sorry about the lack of updates.
anyway.

cherry.

that's the note

i'm not okay.

anyways love you guys

also this isn't edited but i hope you still enjoy it:)