19th ♬

"No way," Fritz replied, with all due conviction. Even the stare on his face was fatal, and his eyes narrowed disgustedly at me.

Okay, I got it. He disliked me.

"Why not?" asked Lucas naively, or rather trying to sound like one.

"Because," Fritz didn't even give it a thought, like his answer was solidly embedded in his mind, "she was the one who ruined our show before."

"Really?" Lucas went on with his innocent look and surprised face.

I caught a glimpse of Jace, hiding something with his hand. For a moment, I thought it was a laugh. But it happened so quickly that I wasn't able to fully grasp what he really did. And before I could really make out what it was, he started walking back to the room and disappeared altogether when he turned around the corner.

But of course, also catching my attention was Fritz, who was trying to mess his golden blond hair that was rigidly held in place by a super strong gel. He stiffly crossed his arms, and said, "Luke, don't mess around. I won't allow it."

"Ahh," said Lucas, his eyes suddenly beaming with hope. "Then we should do this by voting."

"No," Fritz firmly protested.

Without even answering, Lucas dragged me inside the room, holding my right arm with his left hand. I was hesitant, confused if this was how it really should be done. And then, there was Fritz, who unnervingly hated every single piece of me.

When I entered the room, I caught a glimpse of Jace, who was holding his guitar. And on the other side was Drake, standing behind the keyboard. He grew taller a bit, I noticed, and was still the towering one among the four. He gave me that uncaring gaze, not of hate, but of absolute indifference. I had no idea which was worse—Fritz's surging anger for me, or Drake's immovable apathy.

"Okay, let's take a vote," proposed Lucas, letting go of my arm as he put down the bag on the table.

Fritz hurriedly grabbed a bottle of water and gulped all its content within seconds. I saw him calm down a bit. After that, he shot me a deadly glare. I tried smiling in the most apologetic way. In response, his right eyebrow went up in the most displeased manner. It would be a long shot of apology to him.

"As you can see, I slipped while changing a light bulb three days ago. And unfortunately, I ended up with this broken arm," Lucas started.

"We know the story. Get it over with, Luke. The group won't take your side anyway," Fritz interrupted.

Lucas did not change his tone as he continued, "It's been two years. We witnessed a fair share of her hard times when the school found out about what had happened, which was actually our fault, since we were the ones who painted her locker with such um... how should I say this? Hateful words?"

"Like die," Fritz butted in.

"Right."Lucas looked very uneasy. "So we all know that it had been the trigger of all the pranks that was done to her by the whole school. Don't you think it's finally time for some reconciliation? We used to be friends with her before, anyway."

"No." Fritz was still the one who did all the talking. The other two, well, they just stayed silent with poker faces.

"I'm sorry, guys, for everything I did before. It was a messed-up mistake," I uttered, trying to catch all of their eyes to show my utmost sincerity.

Lucas was the only one who nodded, as he stood beside me and gave me that look of understanding. Well, Jace was still not showing anything, like he was thoroughly hiding something beneath that facade. Fritz was still raged, as the way he was before. Drake looked as if this was really driving him to boredom.

"So, there you go. She said sorry. We're also sorry. So now, let's vote for it. Of course, I'd say yes since she knows all our songs and us, too," said Lucas again.

He scanned the room, and so did I. Fritz gave his vote right away. "I say no. There's still Max. We could always use a bassist."

Max. I thought about the name, but nothing came into mind. He must be someone else they knew. As I was still thinking about it, Drake finally spoke, "I say that I don't care."

"Okay, so let's see what we have," recounted Lucas. "One yes, one no, and one I don't care."

All eyes were on Jace all of a sudden. With the anticipation growing in my chest, I totally forgot that I was the one who was being voted for. But before he even spoke, Lucas cut him off and said, "I know he'll say yes. Reese, congratulations! You are now officially part of the band... again."

"I haven't given my vote yet," Jace suddenly said.

"Oh, come on, as if you'll say no," Lucas laughed.

Jace was taken back a bit, putting his guitar down and standing up from the couch. He sneered, "Okay, you got me there. I say yes. I think this is the best way for her to make it up to us."

"Does this mean that you've already forgiven me?" I asked. "I'm sorry for lying that I was sick. I just didn't know what to do..."

Jace thought about it for a bit, his face a little lighter than how it was before. Smiling that pesky smile he once knew how to make full use of, he answered, "Not yet. But I'll think about it."

"So, Fritz, there you have it. She's in the band no matter what you say," Lucas said to Fritz, much to his disgust, I'd bet.

I didn't hear the rest of their argument, nor had paid attention to what Fritz replied. In between their argument, Jace walked out of the room. I followed him, thinking where he was going. None of his actions were easy to understand—he was mad all of a sudden, then playful the next minute, and indifference soon took over him.

The sun was up in the sky, the birds chirped their songs, and the streets were as busy as they had always been in any summer afternoon. I had noticed all that, but there was no sign of Jace around. I scanned the place. And finally, after several delirious heartbeats, I caught a glimpse of his back, and I ran after him.

It was a good thing that he was only walking and I was running. That made a lot of difference. He was startled when I caught up with him and tugged the end of his shirt, which in turn made one ripping sound.

Oops.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted the words, immediately taking my hands off his top. "I didn't mean to rip your shirt off."

"You're harassing me now?" Jaced asked incredulously.

"No!" I exclaimed.

I noticed the rip on the right side, the one he was horribly looking at. He lifted the slashed white cloth and stared at me in the most disbelieving way. I frantically shook my head, soundly denying his assumptions.

Narrowing his eyes, he said wearily, "You're going to hit the jackpot soon. What more are you planning to do, after lying to me and ripping my shirt?"

"Saying sorry 'till you forgive me?" I bit my lower lip, hoping for the best. He ignored me again and walked his way, tucking back the torn piece of his shirt. "Wait! Why are you acting like this? Playing hard to get, are we?"

He stayed silent as he halted in his tracks. "I am playing hard to get?"

I walked in front of him and blocked his path. Putting my hands on my hips, I said to him, "Don't you know how hard it is for me to say sorry to you? I've only learned how to hate you for years. This is so hard, and all you do is ignore me? I'm really trying. I'm sorry. I mean it."

"What? You're the only one having a hard time? Did you ever consider me? Did you ever think of me? You still have no idea why I'm getting angry at you?" Jace said.

Holding my hands up, I replied, "Okay, this is getting confusing. Hold back, I... don't get it. So you're mad at me about the contest, right? I'm sorry about that. I will make it up to you. I promise."

"You clearly have no idea," Jace said incredulously.

"Um... right. I'm trying not to get mad and argue with you. I'm sorry for two things: the contest and for lying about my sickness. I do know, okay? Is there anything else on the list?"

Jace frowned. "Look, it wasn't just the lying and what you did before. I realized that you were guilty that was why you hid yourself, and that you didn't know that I wasn't the one who did that to you. But can't you be honest with me? With all those things that we'd been through before, didn't you know me enough to even consider trusting me?"

I had no clue where the trust issues were coming from. "What are you trying to tell me? Everything was so believable back then. Trust is one thing. Reality is another. And wow, reality was really convincing at that time."

"When I found out that you blamed me for it, I was honestly disappointed. All those times, Reese. Weren't they enough for you to know that I wouldn't do such a thing?" Jace argued back.

"But then I thought... the cellphone, you were still using it at that time," I said back, starting to be unsure of which words I should use. "All the evidences pointed to you. I'm sorry, really. But I didn't do it without considering things. From my perspective, yes. I know I should have answered a call at least, but I felt so betrayed that I didn't want to talk to you anymore. I badly wanted you out of my life, hoping that when you were finally gone, everything would go back to the way it used to be before."

"You know what's your problem?" Jace asked me after a long pause.

I slowly looked up to face him. "A lot, for sure."

"You never ask, you only conclude. You never confirmed what had really happened. All you did was believe those things in your mind. Reese, most of the time, there's more to the story than what you know," he said eventually.

"I know," I murmured, feeling his words sinking in my thoughts.

"And still, even after everything, even after you finally knew what had happened, you were still unwilling to change things."

"It's not that easy," I mustered the words with a sigh.

And with a softer tone, Jace continued, "I'm not saying that it's unforgivable. We all make mistakes. I'm the same as you. I only watched you before, as you got humiliated by everyone. And I'm sorry for that, for not doing a thing, for not standing by your side. I was also lost in the moment. I could understand where you were coming from. Too worn-out to care. Too tired to do anything."

"I understand why you did that. You don't have to apologize. It was all my fault for ruining everything that night," I told him.

"We badly wanted that spot. And I couldn't say that it didn't matter anymore, 'cause there were still times when regret would creep in. But then, there are other things that are more important than all that," Jace said.

"Things like?" I asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

Jace exhaled, shaking his head as he stared at me doubtfully. "You have no idea why I hung around with you for the last few weeks, until you hid yourself again?"

"No?" Revenge? Okay, screw that, Reese. Maybe yes? I did have a guess. He loved me from the moon and back and to another galaxy. Right. But too bad, he already denied that one.

"You're too much," Jace sighed. "Cad's right. You are dense. Didn't you have the slightest idea why I was doing such things for you?"

"Then why?" I asked him simply. "Tell me, 'cause I'm that dense."

"I have no idea how I should explain now. Maybe you don't feel the same way anymore," Jace replied with enough frustration.

"I don't know what you're talking about, seriously," I declared. He threw me a skeptical look, like I didn't comprehend something as simple as 1-2-3. When he didn't say anything, I continued, "Whatever it is, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were not the one who did that to me. If only I'd known back then, I wouldn't have done that to you... to the band."

He didn't respond.

"You have no idea how it was to be me at that time. Jace, you weren't even there to see it all. You didn't show yourself during those times, when the whole school went mad against me. Did you know? Did you know how it felt for being hated, when I believed that I did the right thing?" I said, my own voice shaking and tears finally touching the corner of my eyes.

"That's why you should have let me explain. I tried, Reese. For who knew how long, I tried to get to you. But then, what? You appeared one day and drastically untuned my guitar?" Jace clenched his fist.

The memories were painful. But I knew that in order for things to clear up, we had to unfold them, talk about them, and remember them. That no matter how heartbreaking it was to do so, we simply had no choice.

"I didn't know. You should have tried some more, like post a huge banner or something. Throw rocks to my window. You know, the ones that they did in the movies. Make some rain, stand in there until I get out," I said out of frustration, remembering another movie scene I had watched last night. This was what you get when all you did was watch movies in your room while faking a non-existent flu. And here I was, suddenly wishing that he did those things instead.

He laughed a bit at what I'd said. "And after all this while, that's all you've been waiting for?"

"Don't laugh!" I felt embarrassed all of a sudden.

"Then you should have told me. I could have done it for you," Jace said in a quiet voice, suppressing a laugh. Instead of sharing his enthusiasm, I found myself getting angry instead. He was laughing at my wishful thinking. His shoulders went up and down, as he tried to hold back his laughter, finding the whole thing very amusing.

I pictured us in that scene, the rain pouring down and he was holding a banner up saying that he was sorry and that we should talk about it. Girls liked those kind of things.

"Are you crying?" Jace suddenly asked, alarmed.

"No!" I shouted. A tear or two left my eyes, out of sheer frustration. "Why should I cry for you? I'm not crying."

A tear escaped my eyes once more, despite my attempts to suck it all up. Seeing how I was desperately trying to hold everything back, he coached, "Okay, okay, I get what you mean. And I'm also sorry for everything. So please stop crying."

"Why are you being this way? Are you still mad? I already said sorry. I'm trying my best out here. And you're laughing at me?" I said, still sobbing. The tears won. Jace pulled a smile, still amused by my flared reaction. Then he held me by the hand and dragged me instead. "Where are you taking me? Answer me first. Are you still angry? Will I ever be forgiven?"

"Move along. I'm going to give you something," Jace replied, as he tightened his grip on my hand. I held back tightly in response, not willing to let go of him ever again.