18th ♬

'Smile,' I reminded myself, forcing my lips to obey my thoughts. This was the first time that I would directly initiate a talk with him after the first incident. It had been over a month now.

The crowd was going crazy, since it was Midget Dreams' turn up next. They were the second to the last to perform. Everyone was almost certain that they would undoubtedly get that coveted title as the winner of this search. Their entry video was the most popular on YouTube.

And of course, the residents of our town had already fixated their minds that several months from now, they would all see the boys on the big screen or in a sold-out stadium. Of course, that was an exaggerated thought, but then that was how greatly they believed in them.

However, not a single thought of them made me falter. I was determined to do this. I knew that if I wouldn't do it today, I would never have this kind of opportunity again.

"Do you know who's up next?" the host announced.

The crowd in New Waulds Arena shouted in unison, "Midget Dreams!"

Dressed in my event coordinator uniform, no one found me suspicious. Not a single soul around here knew what I was planning. I didn't even tell Claire and Mason about this, let alone my whole family, and of course, his.

I took one step at a time, making my footsteps a bit heavy, so that he would notice it. The time we locked eyes with each other, he immediately put down the guitar that he was holding. I found myself looking closely at it, since it would be my lucky ticket to make this revenge come true.

I walked closer, putting a foot gap between me and his guitar. And given the fact that he was desperate to talk to me for the last few weeks, I knew that somehow, I would get the chance to hold that guitar even for just a while. That was all it would take.

"Reese," Jace said, stumbling my name out of his half-opened mouth. Astonishment was evident on his face, with his eyes showing every look of incomprehension.

"Hi," I said back.

"What are you doing here?" Jace immediately asked me. Then after noticing the black shirt with a logo that I was wearing, he instantly understood and gave me a nod.

"I heard you guys are up next," I said, trying to pull up the corner of my lips. The thoughts of yesterday were still fresh, pressing down my grin to a frown instead. But for the sake of this moment, I encouraged myself to keep my smile in place for a while.

Hang in there.

"Yeah," he agreed, still looking skeptical about me talking to him.

I saw his band mates stood up and finally noticed me. They all threw us a look of approval. And since I knew that I would act harsh in a matter of seconds, I turned my gaze to the other side and avoided theirs. I heard the announcer call them on stage. The crowd went wild once more, and his words soon became lost in their cheers.

The seconds ticked on, he and I knew that he should go up on stage and meet the frantic crowd. Picking up his guitar with my quivering right hand, I was relieved that his eyes did not notice what I was doing. My fingers found their way to the tuning pegs, and I turned them as far as the situation had permitted me to make the guitar as out of tune as possible. The highly acclaimed producers they were aiming to win over wouldn't like that.

When I had succeeded on getting my revenge, I found him still looking incredulous about this whole 'talking' matter and was randomly laughing softly out of nowhere. The happier he looked, the more awful I felt.

With a forced smile, I handed him his guitar and said, "Good luck."

"Thanks," Jace muttered, smiling feverishly at me. My heart thumped loudly together with the raging audience. He was sincerely smiling at me.

And he also fully believed that I was actually here to make up with him.

He didn't take away his eyes from me. But as the host inquired where the famous lead singer was, he suddenly became extra aware that he was needed elsewhere. There was happiness that glittered in his eyes that made my lips turn into an awkward frown. Here he was, thinking that we were going back to who we were before. And I knew that in a matter of minutes, that certain feeling would be pushed back to the farthest ends of the earth.

He shook his head a bit, still holding that handsome smile on his face. Throwing me an apologetic look, as if to say that he needed to go, he also gave me one questioning glance, maybe asking if we could meet after. I nodded a bit, with all due hesitation. Believe me, he would never want to meet me again after what I had done.

Looking at his departing back, I was compelled to call out to him. Maybe it was the guilt that came out a little too soon. Or probably it was that feeling that I never wanted him to be put to shame.

"Jace... wait..." With only one voice to go against a roaring crowd, I knew that he wouldn't hear me. After a breath, I changed my mind, but I was held back by the bouncers backstage. "Wait... I just need to tell him something."

"You're not allowed upstage, miss. Please go back to your work."

"Just a moment," I shouted, but my voice was lost in the crowd. "I won't take long."

The bouncers kept on telling me to go back. They led me farther and farther away from the stage. After another minute of trying, one bouncer had finally decided to carry me out.

"I'm sorry," closing my eyes, I whispered to the wind.

As the first strum of the guitar was done, I felt that one particular string in my heart snap. It was that one last thread that cut away all the hopes of gaining back our lost friendship, an almost love. By his hands and by mine, we had done it. We had severed something that could almost last forever.

♫♩♬♩♬

Lucas Hughes, with all the shaggy and surprisingly good-looking messed up hair, was holding the door with his left hand right in front of my eyes. He said his greetings, and I was left dumbfounded. You know the time when you're still mustering up your courage, only to be interrupted right at that same time? And then your courage bar suddenly drops back to the bottom line again. That was how I felt right when he opened the door and unintentionally shoved me a little, as the door itself pushed me back.

He leaned against the door post and incredulously looked at me. His right arm was in a cast, which was the only odd thing I'd noticed. Aside from the fact that he'd matured a bit.

"Are you okay?" I quickly asked, looking at the very disturbing bandaged arm.

"Feeling better than what you're supposed to," Lucas said with sarcasm hitting every word. But along that line, I still saw him flash his well-known smile. Lucas had the prettiest smile among their group, despite the rough face and rugged style of his. There was something comfortable and friendly with that warm gesture that he never failed to share with almost everyone.

I nervously coughed, like that could do a thing. Then I exhaled and answered, "How did you know?"

"Jace was worried sick about you, like he was the one who caught the... flu?" Lucas faltered, examining me closely for any sign of disrupted well-being. He didn't find one. Here I was, looking very much healthy and with no sign of that deadly virus spreading in my system.

I turned my gaze directly to my pair of flip-flops instead, tongue-tied. Whenever I looked at them, I felt this shame that was incomparable to any other. And it was going on inside me right now. I knew I shouldn't have involved them. I was so fixated on how to get back at Jace that I didn't realize that I would also harm the three of them in the process.

With a sudden change in tone, he used a rough voice when he asked, "And what are you doing here again?"

I used to come here often and was privileged to watch their practice session. It started awkward at first. But after we both got busted during our secret night-outs while he was teaching me how to play the guitar, Jace had decided to introduce me to the band and taught me here.

And since they were a friendly bunch, they took me in as an apprentice, or so they joked about. That was the reason why I had memorized almost all of their songs, even until now. And together, with Lucas and Jace teaching me how to play, I had learned a lot in a short span of time.

Yes, I was ungrateful and selfish when I did not consider them at all. I lifted my face, catching the hint of disagreement in his voice, and said, "I'm here to apologize to all of you."

"Is there a need for that?"

"Yes," I firmly answered, with no hint of backing down this time.

"You know, let me be honest with you, we're still a bit mad for what you did that night," Lucas replied bluntly, keeping the door open with his left foot holding it in place.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't know that it wasn't Jace who did that to me. I know it didn't excuse my behavior, but I really couldn't keep my head straight at that time," I explained to him.

"The chicken thing? He told us about it a few days ago," Lucas replied. As he slightly nodded his head, he continued saying, "It's kind of understandable since you blamed him for it. But let me tell you that he was not the one who did that to you. Jace would never do that to anyone. He's probably the sweetest guy alive, a rare breed."

"I know," I contemplated, agreeing with his every word. "That's why I wanted to say sorry to him for all the wrong things I've done before. He deserves it."

"You got that right."

"Yeah."

"And I'm sorry to hear what happened about that costume. Did you know that Fritz confirmed that Brittany had Jace's phone for some time, before she gave it back to him?" Lucas elaborated the details. "It was also partly his fault. We tried to warn him, you know? But he was still charmed by her."

"It's all her, I guess," I said with a shrug.

"How could someone do something that horrible?"

"I also have no idea. But it was nothing new. I should have known."

An awkward silence pulled in.

"So you bumped into him or something a while ago, and followed him here?" Lucas asked me after a while.

"That's what happened," I said.

"Ahh, so that was why he looked so mad. He almost broke his guitar." Lucas was laughing, pleased with himself.

"Is he inside?" I asked him, clasping the phone in my hand after a sudden awareness that I was now about to face him. I heard my phone ring again, but I pressed the power button and shut it off. Claire could wait for a while, as I'd fulfill what I should have done days ago. For all I knew, she would be thrilled if I'd do this.

"Yup," Lucas answered, pointing inside the room. "But are you sure you want to go there? Fritz and Drake are not as forgiving as I am."

Among the four, Fritz, the drummer, was the one I usually ended up having petty fights with. That was an established routine. But he also had his own fair share of good stuff. Although known for his hard-to-get-along-with personality, he could be amiable at times.

And then there was Drake—the silent one behind the keyboard. His lack of words was his forte. Some girls would push over themselves to him just to get some response. And most of the time, it was something like back off or get lost. He wasn't actually rude, but then, at times when you almost tripped over when someone forced themselves on you, you could actually say those things.

I hesitated. "Should I?"

"If you're only thinking about yourself, then you shouldn't. There are deadly weapons inside, like an empty can of soda. You might end up getting a bump on the forehead," Lucas suggested, thoroughly amused with my wavering. Seeing my straight and nervous face that didn't lighten up a bit, he added, with a more solemn voice, "But if you still care about him, like before, you should go ahead and get on the other side of this door."

I breathed, "I think I'll come in."

Lucas moved away from the door, and I held the doorknob with my hand. Then he told me, "I'll just go and grab some drinks. And don't forget to dodge whatever will come your way."

"Thanks," I replied softly, laughing a bit.

After giving me a pat on the shoulder, he started walking away. I suddenly remembered that maybe I should probably start my long list of apology with him, since he was also part of the band that I had wronged before.

"Lucas!" I called out. He looked back, waiting for what I was about to say. Then I picked up the first ounce of courage that I inhaled a while ago and said, "I'm sorry for what I did to you before."

He paused, giving me one odd stare. Then the edges of his rough face formed a grin, as he pulled back his light chestnut brown hair. He shook his head a bit and said, "That's just a thing of the past for me. And did I tell you? I'm going to be a vet."

"Oh, um... okay," I faltered, not really sure if that was the response that I wanted to hear. But it was good to hear that he got another dream now.

"It just happened. But it still feels good to hear you say sorry for it. And seems like you really mean it. So really, it's not a big deal for me anymore."

I smiled at him. He waved back, dodged a passing car, and walked toward the shop where he was supposed to go. I took another breath, a deep one, before I opened the door again and walked inside.

Thud.

The door abruptly closed behind me. I stared at what was in front of me, with my breaths getting short, together with the uneven beating of my heart. The room was still arranged in the same way as before. Across the door, there was a small hall that led to their practice area. This room was actually a part of Fritz's house. Since his parents were usually not around, they were okay to let the band have this as their practice room. For them, music was a much better option for a hobby. It could have been worse, they usually said.

A heard a drum roll. Fritz. "Luke, hurry up."

I felt my feet jump a little again. This was really a bad habit that I must break. And even though it was a relief that no one was looking at me, while I was doing this jumping in place thing, I knew that I needed to stop and show myself to them. So I rubbed my hands together, forcing myself to calm down. Taking deep breaths, I tried soothing my thoughts.

And then I heard someone move back a chair, and a pair of footsteps started to walk toward me. "Luke?"

When I knew that it would only be a matter of one deadly second before Fritz would find out that it was me, I immediately replied, "It's not Lucas."

"Then who..." he paused, before his head popped up in the corner. His eyes then showed every bit of disappointment when he saw me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm actually here to..." I stammered, the words barely getting out of my mouth, as I stared at his displeased face. Every inch of his face showed that I was not wanted here.

"We don't need you here. You know where the door is. Get out," Fritz replied in a rigid tone.

See? Well, in fact, only a stupid head would not figure that one out. And before he'd decide to drag me out of the door, I hurriedly asked, "Can I talk to Jace?"

"He's not here," Fritz simply answered.

"I know he's here," I said back.

Fritz paused, thinking. He didn't look behind him, where I supposed Jace was, so as not to give out the fact that he was only there and listening to every word. Then he moved out of the corner, and leaned himself against the wall. Crossing over his arms, he waited for what I was about to say.

I thought about the things that I could do, like kneel and beg for forgiveness. But keeping it simple until desperately needed, with a pleading voice, I said, "I know he's in there. Jace, can you come out? We need to talk."

It took Jace several seconds before he appeared. With a straight face, he stared at me. There was the obvious hint of unhappiness in his eyes. And with a sour voice, he said, "Say what you want."

"I'm so sorry," I said in haste. Getting those words out was probably the hardest thing in the world. Before, he was the one I had sworn I would never say an apology to. All I did was continuously built that resentment toward him. Two years was a long shot for passionately hating someone. And now, I was doing the opposite of that. I desperately wanted to save whatever could be rescued from the slump we fell into.

Jace nodded in the most uninterested way, his shoulders still tensed. It wasn't that hard to conclude that he still hadn't forgiven me for lying to him, especially with all those lethal stares and uncaring eyes. And with that, he started walking back to the room.

End of story.

I pressed the pause button and gave it a thought. There was no way I would accept this as the end. Forgiveness—I was getting desperate to get that from him. I badly wanted to make it up to him, to them.

The door behind me opened, making Jace look back. I also did the same and saw Lucas entering the room. The moment he saw all of us in one clunky conversation, he innocently jeered, "Did something happen?"

"Reese came and—"

Walking over to my side, he did not let Fritz finish what he was about to say. Instead, he wrapped his able arm around me and said, "Look who I found outside. Don't you think she'll be the perfect replacement for me?"

The cold bottles of water inside the bag he was holding pressed over my skin, as Lucas' left arm loosely hung around my shoulders. For several seconds, I hadn't fully grasped what he was talking about. But as I saw the surprised, horrified, doubtful, and tragedy-stricken look on both Fritz's and Jace's faces, I suddenly realized what it was. He wanted me to replace him and play the second lead guitar for the upcoming midsummer concert.

I stiffly turned my gaze to him, doubting his intentions in every way. "You can't possibly mean..."

And then there was the unbroken silence that followed after. It was a ticktock moment, with the grandfather clock at the far side of the room taking its usual toll. That clock was actually an inside joke. They thought it would be cool to have such a clock instead of ordinary ones. And together, the four of them bought one at a yard sale when they won their first prize money. Never had I ever thought that it would make a splendid job right now.

Tick. Tock.