Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017: 8:57 PM

10 months before Harvey is arrested

"Where are you going?" Roman asked, keeping his tone quiet as to not upset Harvey, who had been on edge all day. It did not work.

"Where am I going? Where am I going? Not that it's any of your business, bitch, but I am going to my job, to make money, to provide for you, hm? So how about you stop being so ungrateful and stop asking questions."

"Of course," Roman stammered, "I– I shouldn't have–"

"Damn right." Harvey stepped forward, grabbing Roman's wrist tightly. Too tightly.

Suddenly, Roman heard a noise from his left. Roman and Harvey's heads both turned to see Agni standing in the corridor. 'Fuck' Roman thought, panicking. He was trying to figure out how to salvage this trainwreck, how to get Agni back downstairs, where he could be safe, when Agni spoke.

"Stop." His voice wavered, and his fingers were twitching by his sides, but the look on Agni's face could only be described as determination. What a shame that Harvey saw anything other than fear as disrespect.

"What did you just say?" Agni's plan had worked, it seemed, as Harvey abandoned Roman to stalk over to his son.

"I–I said stop. Don't touch Roman." Roman looked away when he heard the echo of a slap ringing through the room. Agni whimpered. Roman looked back over to see Agni backing up to the wall. Harvey pushed him into it before he could make it on his own. Agni's head hit the corner of the wall, and he fell to the floor. Roman could see blood.

Harvey huffed, grabbing his keys off the counter and stomping out the door. Roman stayed frozen. The door slammed.

It took a few seconds before Roman could make himself go to Agni's side, checking the wound. It was bleeding heavily but didn't look deep. Roman could only hope Agni didn't have another concussion.

Agni was making those high-pitched noises in the back of his throat he often made during times like these. He didn't shed a single tear.

"You can't do that again," Roman whispered to Agni in the bathroom as he cleaned the boy's wound.

"But he was gonna hurt you," Agni whispered back. Roman sighed, knowing that Agni wouldn't back down. Roman didn't know how to explain that the weight of the world shouldn't have to rest on Agni's shoulders. He didn't know how to explain to Agni that maybe Roman deserved to be hurt.

Roman finished cleaning the wound. He hugged the boy extra tight, and planted a kiss on his head before sending him back downstairs.

Roman went to clean up the blood, ignoring the suffocating guilt he felt.

Roman Sanders was a coward.

———

Saturday, September 26th, 2020: 9:37 a.m.

Virgil had only just dragged himself out of his bedroom, despite the fact that he had been awake since five in the morning, and he was already regretting it. The bustle in the living room and kitchen was not helping his already present overstimulation and it only added to his sour mood.

"Well, you're up late!" Patton commented from where he sat at the table, knitting. Virgil just grunted, attempting to focus on the music playing through his headphones. He quickly walked over to the coffee pot and poured the remaining coffee into his mug. Virgil shouldn't be having coffee with his anxiety, but, on days like this one, he needed it.

Stopping by the pantry to get a slice of toast, Virgil made his way to the table, doing his best to avoid tripping over his own feet from tiredness. This, however, made him unaware that Roman, who was already sitting at the kitchen table, had started stretching. Virgil walked straight into Roman's arm, causing him to drop the piece of bread and spill hot coffee on both him and Roman. Roman snatched his arm away, holding it to his chest, while Virgil stumbled backward, quickly moving to hunch around the coffee mug.

Logan, having heard the commotion, moved towards Roman when he noticed how shallow his breathing was, "Roman," he asked, "Are you okay?" Virgil swallowed hard as he watched Logan coach Roman through his breathing. He was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder, only to find Patton smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry for scaring you kiddo. Let's go to the living room, yeah?" Virgil nodded, stumbling after Patton. However, when Patton sat down, Virgil changed his mind, stomping up the stairs and closing the door to his bedroom loudly. Virgil knew that he shouldn't be this upset. That he had fucked up, and that was okay. But it didn't matter. Cause he had fucked up a million times but he still felt terrible anytime it involved Roman, or Patton, or Logan. Because he could handle being a screw-up, but if it led to him hurting his family, it was better to hide it. To not let them get close enough to get hurt.

Staring numbly at his door, Virgil clenched his jaw. He didn't need them, or their support. He was sick of being treated like a baby. He'd be fine on his own.

———

Saturday, September 26th, 2020: 3:13 PM

When Virgil eventually moved downstairs to get lunch, he was perturbed to find the three still in the living room. It was the weekend, so all three were home. 'Great,' Virgil thought, resisting the urge to groan. Instead, he turned up his music.

Looking into the fridge to find food that would make the quickest meal, Virgil shrugged when he saw some leftovers from the other night. Quickly spooning the spaghetti onto a plate and sticking it in the microwave, Virgil frowned when he saw Logan motion for him to take off his headphones. Virgil did so but didn't pause his music, the angry chorus of the song still able to be heard from his headphones. "Yes?" Virgil asked, annoyed at the interruption.

Logan raised an eyebrow and tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, analyzing the boy before him, "Is something wrong, Virgil?" he asked, tone neutral.

"Nope," Virgil said, popping the P. Ignoring his racing heart, at how disrespectful he was being, Virgil turned back to the microwave, disappointed to find his food was not yet done.

"Virgil. I am trying to have a conversation with you." Logan stated clearly, although Virgil couldn't help but pick up on the annoyance in his tone.

Swallowing his panic, Virgil turned back around, "Well, I don't wanna talk so feel free to move on."

Logan narrowed his eyes, staring at Virgil, who fidgeted under the intense stare, "What is wrong, Virgil?" Logan asked, more insistent.

Virgil clenched his fists angrily, "What's wrong, Logan," Virgil said, with more force than was necessary, "is that you guys won't leave me the fuck alone!" Logan looked confused by the outburst while Patton and Roman, who had made their way into the kitchen, look stunned, "I just wanted fucking food!" Virgil yelled, blinking away the tears that came to his eyes, "But no, something must be wrong with me, because being independent is too much for poor, precious, Virgil." Virgil fake gagged, ignoring every instinct in his body yelling at him to stop before he did something he regretted, "It may come as a surprise to you but I can do things on my own! I'm not some innocent, fragile, useless, kid. Are you ever gonna get that through your fucking heads?" Virgil panted as he stared at his parents, although he questioned how much longer that title would apply to them.

"Kiddo..." Patton said, frowning. And, oh fuck, he was crying. Virgil had fucked up. He couldn't do this. Before he could even process what was happening, Virgil was wrenching open the front door. He ran, and ran. By the time he had stopped, Virgil had no clue where he was.

"Damnit." Virgil muttered, glancing at his surroundings, "Damnit!" He yelled, kicking the toe of his combat boot into the ground. God, why did he have to be such a fuck up? "God, you—" Virgil cut himself off by making an angry noise in the back of his throat. Satisfied with how it felt, Virgil continued to make the noise, stamping his right foot against the concrete and hitting his clenched fists against his thighs. Virgil stopped abruptly a few moments later when thunder boomed across the sky, causing him to cry out and slap his hands over his ears. "Fuck," he yelled, lightning flashing across the sky as rain began to pour from the sky. Quickly using one hand to grab his phone, while keeping the other clamped over his ear, Virgil scrolled through his contacts, not giving himself time to overthink as he pressed Remy's contact, pulling the phone up to his free ear.

Remy picked up after two rings, voice smooth, "Hey Darling," he said lightly. Virgil didn't respond, breath hitching a bit as he continued to hyperventilate into the receiver, "V?" Remy said quietly, continuing when he received no response, "Can you breathe with me, Honey? In for four hold for seven out for eight, okay?" Virgil let out a quiet noise from the back of his throat but complied, gasping in a large breath only to start coughing. Remy clicked his tongue softly, "Slowly Babes, take your time, okay?" even though Remy couldn't see him, Virgil nodded, working to take a slow breath.

Remy encouraged him the whole time, speaking softly and helping Virgil count. "Okay," he started once Virgil was no longer hyperventilating, "What's going on? Do you need me to come and get you, Doll?"

Virgil rocked on his heels, "Please," he asked.

"Okay, are you at home, Storm?"

Virgil bit his thumbnail "No." he rocked a little faster as he waited for Remy's response.

"Um- okay. Can you send me your location?" Remy asked, a little bit of worry seeping into his voice.

Virgil quickly did so, taking a deep breath as he waited for Remy to receive the text. "Alright, I got it. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you while I drive?"

Virgil thought it through for a second, "No."

"Alright Pumpkin," Remy said, voice warm, "I'll be there in about ten minutes, okay?" Remy then made exaggerated kissing sounds through the phone, making Virgil snort a little. Remy seemed satisfied with the response because he said goodbye once more before hanging up the phone.

Virgil quickly connected his headphones, opening up Spotify and clicking on his playlist labeled "Overstimulated".

The minutes passed by quickly, Remy soon pulling up by the tree Virgil had taken shelter under. "Hey Babe," Remy greeted, letting Virgil get in the passenger seat before continuing, "Can I touch you?" He asked, sliding his sunglasses to rest atop his hair. Virgil nodded and Remy cupped the other boy's face in his hands. Virgil immediately looked away from Remy, the intense look in his now visible eyes a little too much at the moment. Remy smiled, pressing a small kiss to the other boy's forehead, laughing when Virgil scrunched up his nose, cheeks turning pink.

Remy let go of Virgil's face, moving to instead intertwine his pinky finger with Virgil's. "My house?" Remy asked, buckling his seatbelt again. Virgil nodded, doing his best to ignore the suffocating guilt he felt.

Virgil Sanders was a coward. 

Trigger Warnings:
Domestic abuse (told by an unreliable narrator)
(Autistic) Meltdown

If it was not clear before now, Virgil's autistic in this fic because I'm autistic and it takes excessive amounts of effort to write neurotypical characters >:)

Thanks for reading!!!
-Apollo