Trigger Warning. Please check end note for more details.

The first time Harvey had hit Roman, it had been unexpected. Roman had always been one to fall in love fast. While other kids would have a new crush every other week, Roman fell hard, spending months pining only to be devastated when it inevitably didn't work out. Red flags were swept under the rug in the name of love that would end up fizzling out faster than it started. But Roman survived: despite being kicked out of his parent's house for being gay when he was seventeen, or jumping from place to place with no friends to show for it, or feeling so lonely that he sometimes wondered if continuing was worth it at all. But Roman survived, living day by day, person by person.

That was until he was 27, dancing in a club on a hot June night, and had bumped into the man behind him. That was until the man was attractive and actually seemed to be interested in Roman for once. That was until a one-night stand turned into having coffee together the next day. Harvey seemed perfect, and Roman was so tired of settling for 'just alright,'.

Roman wasn't even really sure when he had moved into Harvey's house. But, by September, Roman had terminated his lease and was living with Harvey full time. It was heaven. Unfortunately, heaven is sometimes the perfect disguise for hell.

The first time Harvey had hit Roman, Roman stayed completely still, staring at Harvey, who looked surprised too. "I'm sorry, it was an accident, it will never happen again," He had promised, "I'm so sorry, I love you," Roman had nodded and forced himself to smile.

Slowly, "It will never happen again," morphed into, "I'm doing this because I love you," and, "You deserve this," and Roman believed every word. Roman believed Harvey when he told Roman that he had no reason to keep his job, he didn't need to overwork himself when Harvey had plenty of money. Roman believed Harvey when he insisted they should live together, since Roman was already there all the time. Roman believed Harvey and everything he did because, if he was lying, where did that leave Roman? Simply alone again?

So Roman believed Harvey. Until that trust slowly broke away day by day by day. Because even if Roman believed that he deserved to be hurt, he could never agree with Harvey hurting Agni.

Roman watched as Harvey would roughly grab Agni's hands in order to stop them from moving. Roman watched as Harvey forced Agni to make eye contact with him, even when Agni would start wiggling and grunting uncomfortably. Roman watched as Harvey tried to force Agni to speak, only to punish him when he couldn't. As much as Roman trusted Harvey, as much as he loved Harvey, he just could not understand how Harvey's actions towards his own son could ever be interpreted as love.

So, a year and a half after Roman's first encounter with Harvey, a year and a half after first seeing those dark eyes stare at him sadly, Roman took Agni and left. Roman was ashamed that it had taken that long. But, he had been scared, terrified of what would have happened had they been caught. And, deep down, some part of him still loved Harvey, and probably always would.

But Agni had never deserved Harvey's treatment like Roman had. So, Roman ignored his own feelings and ran, making sure that Harvey would have bigger problems than finding Roman.

It had taken months, but Roman had slowly compiled a USB stick filled with proof of Harvey's illegal doings. Receipts from drug and weapons deals that Harvey thought Roman would be too stupid to notice. Proof that he was connected to multiple cases of missing persons. Roman kept Agni out of it; as much as charges regarding child abuse would help the case against Harvey, the plan was to get Agni out and away, erasing his connection to Harvey altogether.

It had taken months, but Roman was able to get in contact with the right people to help him out. In a town two hours away, someone would be waiting for him to take the car that Roman would be driving (which belonged to Harvey) and exchange it for a new one with a forged registration and entirely new plates. Just a town away from where Roman and Agni would be living, there was someone who would give them what they needed to start a new life: all the documents Roman would need to start a new bank account, get a job, rent an apartment, and, most importantly, a new birth certificate for Agni, with the surname 'Sanders'"

Before he left, Roman sent the information on the USB drive out to a variety of legal figures. Roman didn't have much remaining faith in the justice system after seeing what Harvey had already gotten away with but, it was worth a try. Besides, that's why Roman also sent the information out to every well-known news source Roman could think of. Harvey was well known enough due to his money that the story would hopefully be able to gain some traction.

Roman didn't pick a date to leave; it was too risky, and it could make Harvey suspicious. Instead, one day when Harvey left the house and Roman knew (hoped) he would be gone for a while, Roman grabbed a bag and stuffed the bare essentials into it. He would have to leave behind most of the items that he actually cared about, but it was necessary if he wanted them to get out in time. He gave Agni two minutes to pack, not explaining where they were going. Agni seemed to understand anyway. Thirty minutes away from what used to be home, Roman took out as much money as possible using the atm card he had nicked from Harvey, trashing it soon after. It would be enough to pay for the car change and documents, and should last them for rent until Roman could get a job.

it wasn't enough. As far as Roman was concerned no life, no matter how perfect, would ever be enough to make up for the atrocities Agni had witnessed so far in his short life. It wasn't enough, but it was all they had, besides each other.

So Roman continued to drive.

———

Sunday, October 11th, 2020

Virgil waited until Roman had left to come downstairs in the morning, quickly realizing that Patton had the day off.

"Good morning, kiddo!" Patton said softly from where he stood at the stove, making pancakes. Only, he spoke a little too softly, like Virgil would break if he dared to lower his voice an octave, which meant he had clearly heard what had happened last night.

Virgil sighed, "Hey Pat,"

"I know you had a rough night so I figured I'd make some chocolate chip pancakes for ya!"

"Mhm," Virgil hummed, hopping onto the counter. It was silent for a few moments. Virgil sighed again, "Hey, Patton?" they whispered

"Yeah, V?" Patton responded happily.

"Do you hate your parents?"

Patton froze and the atmosphere suddenly turned tense. His smile fell for a moment before he caught the mistake, quickly plastering it back on, "Why would you ask that, V?" he said.

"Because," Virgil started, "They were really terrible to you but sometimes you still talk about them like none of that happened. How come you don't... hate them after everything they did to you,"

Patton sighed, turning to face Virgil, "It's tricky, kiddo. Hate is... well it's a dangerous thing. It can really hurt you if you aren't careful, and I wasn't always careful," Virgil nodded, frowning, "Is this about what happened with Roman?" Patton asked carefully.

Virgil tensed, legs freezing from where they had previously been swinging against the cabinet, "Um, yeah, I guess so."

Patton nodded, squeezing Virgil's knee gently, "I thought so. You heard what I said kiddo, hate's a dangerous thing. I know what Roman said hurt but–"

Virgil laughed sadly, "I'm not– that's not what I meant," Patton furrowed his eyebrows, confused, "I... I think I'm turning into Harvey, Pat," Virgil whispered.

"Virgil!" Patton exclaimed, shocked, "Don't say that! You are not!"

Virgil huffed, "I yelled at Roman last night because he apologized to me. I was so mad that he was being nice that I just started screaming at him about it. How fucked is that?"

"Kiddo," Patton started, "Emotions are... they're hard. Even the good ones. You just got a little overwhelmed. Maybe it's something you and Roman can work on in the future but it still does not mean you're turning into Harvey," Virgil didn't respond. Patton shook his head, "C'mon, it's to early for these kinda thoughts. You need breakfast!"

"Okay," Virgil murmured, blinking back tears. Patton seemed able to tell that they were on the verge of spiraling, and carefully led them to the kitchen table, setting down pre-cut pancakes in front of them. Virgil must've really appeared to be struggling if Patton wouldn't even trust them with a knife dull enough to cut pancakes. Which, Virgil thought now, might've been a good call.

"Are you doing anything besides schoolwork?" Patton asked, sitting down across from them.

"No," Virgil whispered, stabbing their pancakes numbly, "Remy works. No actual classes today." Patton nodded, watching Virgil's fork move around their plate. Virgil sighed and shoved a bite in their mouth. It might as well have been ash.

"Maybe we should hang out then! We could watch some movies, and we could paint each others nails again? What do you think, kiddo?"

Patton was nice. Patton was really, really nice, and he always had the best intentions, especially when it came to Virgil. If there was one thing he was not, however, it was discreet. Patton was nervous and doing a poor job hiding it; Virgil didn't doubt that Patton was worried they would end up hurting themself just like the last time they fought with Roman. So Virgil shrugged, shoveling some more pancake into their mouth.

Patton relaxed instantly, shoulders dropping and smile becoming a tad more brighter, "Oh awesome, kiddo!" he stood up, circling the table to place a kiss on Virgil's hairline, "I'll go get the nail polish, you just hang out here and finish breakfast," Virgil hummed in agreement, watching Patton practically skip down the hallway.

Virgil was tired. So, so tired. 

Trigger Warnings:
Domestic abuse
Depression

Honestly super proud of the first part <3
Thanks for reading!!!
-Apollo