Nate was excited to perform at the Cannabis Cup and as much as I wanted to be out there to witness it all, I stayed behind in the trailer. There's a higher male ratio here and I'd rather not be in the middle of that sausage fest.

I had my emergency novel with me for moments like these. Of course it didn't get to last long when someone knocked on the trailer's door.

"Coming," I called out. I placed the bookmark between the pages and answered the door.

It was the last person I wanted to see: Derek.

"What's good, sunshine?"

He let himself in, moving right past me and having a seat on one of the chairs.

"What do you want?" I was heavily guarded, ready to defend myself.

"Calm down, babygirl. I'm just lookin' for ya boy."

"What's it to you?"

"Well sweetheart--"

"Quit with the pet names before I smack that smug grin off your face."

"Okay ba-- Lux. Nate and I need to have a talk. He owes me some things." Derek popped his gum.

"If it's money, you're in the wrong place. You know he has people that handle that."

"Nah, not money. Just respect."

I rolled my eyes and reached into my purse, pulling out my can of pepper spray & aiming it at Derek.

"You need to leave, now."

Derek put his hands up, still managing to bite back a smile. "Why the cold shoulder?"

"Why? You know why!"

"Mkay. I'll go...lay down your sword, Lady Lux." Derek chuckled on his way out.

It wasn't until that door shut that I realized I wasn't breathing. I let out the longest exhale.

15 minutes barely passed and I started hearing commotion outside. Derek certainly found Nate and the two were squabbling & exchanging punches on the ground. Several of the guys including two security guards had to pull them off each other.

"Nah, let me go!" Nate fought against everyone holding him back.

"Let em fight yo," Rupp shouted, not being of any help.

+

"You're both adults," I told Nate as I cleaned the bloody scratches on his face. "This whole thing is ridiculous."

"I wasn't even gonna fight him. Shit, I was havin' a good time." Nate spoke slightly slower than usual. It had me wonder just how much he smoked out there. Then again, it's the Cannabis Cup. No one cares how much they smoke.

"I hope you won't be doing any of this on tour."

"I'll try not to." He grinned up at me as I placed the bandage on his chin. "And...I'll stop flirtin' with you...outta respect."

"Why do I feel like we had this conversation already," I chuckled.

"Just making sure you know. I don't wanna push you away."

I hugged him. "Thank you."

+

Jaxon opened his front door and I held up my toothbrush.

"Consider it the first thing I'll leave at your place."

He smiled wide, overjoyed with my decision. It certainly showed once he picked me up, kicking the door shut behind him as he kissed me. He gently let me down onto the couch. In front of us was a bowl of popcorn, a couple pints of ice cream, and pineapple coconut waters; just how I like it.

"What are we watching tonight," I asked.

"Depends," he answered. "Drama? Comedy? Action? Horror?"

"Comedy."

"Okay." He clicked the appropriate category on Netflix.

"Ooh! Beverly Hills Cop, yes! Classic."

"Whatever the lady wants."

He put it on and sat back. We cuddled watching most of the movie but were all over each other by the time the credits rolled. I felt him reach for the remote. He turned off the TV and tossed the remote onto the other couch.

"Damn I want you," he whispered into my neck, nibbling on wherever his lips would land.

I blew out streams of air, trying to remain composed. But there was no such thing as composure right now, not with the way he's exploring my body, not with the way I hear the low growls in my ear and subtle moans.

"Let's go to your room," I spoke quietly before kissing his cheek.

"Yeah?" He bit his bottom lip.

"Mmhmm."

He stood up and I could tell he was feeling tight in the pants. But he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. Why I waited for this, I'll never know. But it was all worth the wait. From the moment he took off his shirt to show off his godly physique down to every carefully guided stroke. I never wanted to leave his bed.

+

We had to take a flight to Chicago, the first stop on the tour. The tour bus would be waiting for us when we got there. Jaxon drove me to the airport and Elijah was there as well to see me off. Jaxon and I hugged as if we never wanted to let go. I was completely dressed comfortable in grey sweatpants and one of his plain white t-shirts. I even brought my pillow with me, I don't like those pointless airplane pillows that are fit for a small child and cost 25 bucks.

"Call me as soon as you land." Jaxon kissed my forehead.

After I hugged them both once more, I went through security and to my gate. The boys were already there. Nate and Swazz were passed out while Rupp was eating his burger and fries. I was introduced to Nate's new photographer & videographer Brandon. Tez wouldn't be joining us until the international leg of the tour.

Once it was finally time to board, I had to wake the boys up. They were seated a little further up than me and I was sat next to an older man. He was something like a silverfox, hot for his age, I guessed a 50-something. And he smelled really nice so I didn't mind my seat at all.

But then Nate popped up.

"Excuse me sir," Nate spoke. My eyes widened a bit. "Would you mind switching seats with me? I'm in 7A, right behind first class & a lot of leg room. I wanted to get a seat next to my wife but you know how last minute booking can be."

This was the first time I heard Nate speak this properly.

"Yeah no problem," the man replied. I'm sure the leg room part really sold him.

"Thank you so much."

All I could do was force a smile and fake heart eyes for my 30-second 'husband'.

Nate put his bag in the overhead compartment and sat down.

"You didn't have to do that," I told him.

"You mean to tell me you wanted to sit back here with an old guy?"

"He was totally gonna be my sugar daddy backup if Jaxon and I ever went sour, for your information," I joked.

"Yeah aight," he laughed.

"...Thank you, though. Nice to see you care."

"Don't mention it. Besides, Swazz already went back to sleep and Rupp was about to be next."

"Ah yes. I love being the last resort for entertainment," I chuckled.

"Shut up." God, those dimples. "Oh hey, wanna see somethin'?"

He took his phone out his pocket and opened his messages. Then he played a video for me. It was him as a toddler, singing in the bathtub.

"My mom sent me a few videos," his smile was nearly a permanent fixture. The cute factor never left his side. He was adorable.

For the next two hours we talked about everything under the sun, mainly food. If there's anything that can bring people together, it's food. For the rest of the flight, we fell asleep.

When I woke up, I realized I had moved to rest my head on his shoulder, and his head rested on top of mine. He had on his jacket backwards, acting as a personal blanket. I noticed I had a blanket too, but I didn't remember requesting one. He must've did it.

I felt comfortable, keeping my eyes closed, and I paid attention to the rhythm of his peaceful breathing. He had a slight wheeze as he breathed through his nose.

I heard someone walk down the aisle and felt Nate lift his head off mine, taking a deep breath as he fully woke up.

"Lux," he whispered. But I didn't respond, nor did I open my eyes. The guilt came flooding back as I relished in the current comfort of being on his shoulder. I wanted to live in this moment if only for a bit because I knew once he was back around his boys, he'd be a different Nathan.

Next thing I know, I felt him kiss the top of my head.

+

"Ayeeee!" Nate shouts as he snapchats the inside of the new tour bus.

"This shit is nicer than the Skaterade tour bus," Swazz spoke, choosing one of the bunks.

I chose one of the middle bunks. Living with a group of guys for the next couple months is going to be challenging. I don't wish to sleep close to the floor where I could smell their dirty feet & laundry and I don't wish to sleep on the top bunk and possibly embarrass myself by falling about 5 feet. Middle bunk is just fine.

The tour bus parked at the hotel we'd be sleeping at overnight but we decided to party it up in the bus until it was actually time to sleep.

"Yo Nate," Rupp called out. "Should I send out a tweet to these Chi-town cuties? We need some hoes on this bus for real."

There it was, the beginning of me rolling my eyes for the rest of the night.

"Hell yeah, tell em to DM me on Instagram. Gotta screen chicks these days, can't have just anybody up in here. And Brandon, hit up Trey & Robbie, they said they'd come through with the re-up. Gotta roll up before any girls come through."

"Make sure these girls ain't underaged," Swazz added. "Remember last time?"

"Bro," Nate yelled. "She was a straight up thot, down for the cause but way too young. She didn't look it though. Like, I almost caught a case with that bitch."

"Right," I stood up. "I'm gonna go up to my room, you guys have fun."

There was the other Nathan I knew would show up. The one that called females every name in the book along with his boys and apparently it was okay, it was a norm. It was...disgusting. I wish head-kissing Nate would come back.

"What?" Nate looked surprised. "This the first night, we didn't even go buy drinks yet."

"Drinks, snacks, pizza," Rupp spoke as he tapped away on his phone.

"I'm just jet lagged. And I have a massive headache so...I'm gonna go check in."

"Okay," Nate's eyes fell. "We'll see you tomorrow then."

"Got it." I gave him a thumbs up. "Soundcheck's at 3."

I was upset and in a daze as I lodged my bags into the hotel's lobby. I kept looking off into a distance, trying to wrap my head around why they act this way, what they had to prove. It didn't matter if I disapproved. They are still going to find girls...willing girls. And they're going to do God-knows-what on that bus. I'm sure half of it will be shared on snapchat; snapchats I'll be trying not to watch.

My room was decent for only $63 a night. I took a very long shower and called Jaxon, feeling bad I forgot to call when I landed. I brought my own bathrobe and snuggled under the covers with it on.

"Hey," I spoke softly once he answered the phone.

"Hey you." His voice was raspy.

"Did I wake you?"

"Maybe," he softly chuckled. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. Sorry I didn't call after my flight. It's been quite an educational day. The tour bus is really nice, though.......hello?"

"Hm? Sorry, I'm really sleepy."

"Get some sleep, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay baby, goodnight."

"Night."

I took a deep breath and cut off all the lights in my room, turning on the TV. Thankfully Golden Girls was on. I felt like an old lady myself, calling it a night early with some quality TV wearing a bathrobe I got from Marshalls.

It wasn't even 2 hours later that I started to hear sex noises and banging against the wall, scaring me out of my sleep. Luckily, my earphones were in arm's reach and I slept with my head facing the other direction. Frustration and anger plagued me, not to mention curiosity. Because it's either Nate or Swazz entertaining a girl next door. A girl with a horrible squealing moan; she's clearly been watching too many pornographic videos, trying to copy them.

Maybe not so deep down, I was hoping that it was Swazz. I was hoping the party in the tour bus died down and Nate decided to let Swazz have his fun while he stayed on the bus to work on his music, being the good boy I saw in those home videos.

__________

Author's Note:

Who do you think it was? -evil laugh-

hmm...thoughts?

vote & comment! love you guysssss!