3 Weeks Later...

I stood there trying to be as attentive as possible; pen in my right hand & small notepad in my left as Jennifer gave me the rundown of everyone's Starbucks order.

"I want a grande caramel macchiato, extra hot & extra shot, light on the drizzle. Christa wants a plain bagel, lightly toasted & reduced fat cream cheese. Also a short latte. For Greg: a quad espresso, 1 pump of white mocha with a splash of cream--"

"Actually no cream today," Greg said, never looking up from his paperwork.

"Okay, no cream," Jennifer continued. "And for the boss lady: a venti dark roast misto with coconut milk and 4 raw sugars. Got that?"

"Got it," I nodded. I was surprised I kept up with all that.

Jennifer handed me the company credit card & I ran down the street to Starbucks where I had to wait behind 4 older women. With my past experience in the food & beverage industry, I know that middle-aged & elderly women are the most indecisive when it comes to ordering something.

While waiting in line, Elijah called me.

"Hey," I answered. "What's up?"

"I'll tell you what's up: me coming home to all of your dead flowers from Nate and Jaxon combined. I'm throwing them out!"

"Feel free," I sighed.

"Still haven't talked to them, huh?"

"Nope and not going to. Plus Nate stopped calling after a week. Jaxon's a different story, quite persistent."

"They're both assholes. Anyway, don't be alarmed if you don't see me when you get off work. It's date night. Meeting this new guy I met on Grindr and he looks like Jon Snow."

I gasped. "Jon Snow is love, Jon Snow is life."

"Right? Anyway, where are you right now?"

"Doing a Starbucks run for the boss & the unholy trinity."

"Nice to see you love your new job."

"I don't hate it," I took a deep breath. "I just wanted to be more hands on and see what it's like to be an event planner, not just an assistant to one."

"You'll get there, sweetie. But listen, I gotta get in the shower. Love ya!"

"Ditto kiddo. Have fun tonight."

+

Jennifer took her drink out of the cup holder as I walked back into the office.

"Walk and talk," she hooked her free arm in mine. "You're in luck today."

"Why is that?" I tried not to drop the drinks as we took quick strides.

"Emilio called out sick. He's usually my note-taker. I took on a client that will be here in 30 minutes, you know how to take notes well?"

"Yes, very well." I was more on an intermediate level if you asked any of my old teachers, but she didn't need to know that.

"Great. Conference Room 4 in 30." Jennifer patted me on the back and I went to deliver the rest of the drinks.

30 minutes later and I was already in the conference room with the other office assistant who brought over the usual snacks & beverages. I was busy setting up the laptop & projector.

"You are so on the money," Jennifer spoke, startling me a little as she walked in. "Go get two extra chairs from the other room, I didn't know he was bringing an entourage. They should be here any minute now."

Jennifer immediately got on the laptop, moving me out of the way so she could open up the files she needed.

"May I ask who the client is?" I was getting excited to be a part of this.

"Uh, Kalin White. He's a singer," Jennifer answered.

I wasn't so excited anymore. And before I knew it, there was Kalin walking in with some guy I've never seen before...and Jaxon. He was just as stunned to see me as I was to see him.

Why is this my life?

"Welcome," Jennifer smiled.

I had to sit across from Jaxon who kept giving me awkward glances throughout the entire meeting. I tried my best to just keep my attention to the notes I had to take, listening to all of Kalin's wishes & suggestions for his upcoming event. But it was hard with Jaxon burning lasers into my forehead with his eyes. Believe me, I wanted to send lasers right back to him.

After the meeting, I didn't even give him a chance to approach me. I was taking my lunch break early. But I hardly made it to my car without Jaxon catching up to me.

"Stop avoiding me Lux," Jaxon called out.

"What do you want," I asked, turning around. "And it better be good because you and I both know there's literally nothing more to talk about."

He didn't get too close to me. "I saw Derek's picture. That's you now?"

I bursted into laughter. "That couldn't be any further from the truth. A very long story I'd rather not talk about. Derek's an asshole, just like all of you fucking boys. Are we done here?"

"No we ain't done here," his tone became more aggressive. Jaxon moved closer to me with so much anger in his heart, his veins were nearly protruding out of his neck. "Stop being stubborn for 5 fucking minutes so I can give you the apology you deserve."

He shut me up & I let him speak.

"I was a dick that wasn't thinking," he continued. "I know I hurt you and confused you and I'll probably never forgive myself for letting the greatest girl slip away. But from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. I respect the fuck outta you, Lux, so I'm not gonna be one of those exes that tries constantly to get you back & tries to be all up in your business. But I want you to know that I'm still here for you if you eventually wanna be just friends. I know I lost your heart but I can't breathe at the thought of you never being in my life again, even if we're just, I don't know, talkin' on the phone once a week. It's fine. Just don't say goodbye forever."

I took a deep breath & crossed my arms. "Look, I haven't exactly been little miss innocent. I--"

"You don't have to tell me." He sighed. "In the back of my mind, I already knew before knowing the truth. It was that little insecurity that made me careless for that night. But I'm not blaming you. Just wish we would've communicated more, you know?"

I nodded and knew I couldn't hold this grudge. All it did was weigh at my heart. It was hard to look him in the eye, my gaze being stuck to the dark pavement below & I kept fidgeting with my bangles. I couldn't take it anymore...so I gave him a hug.

"So," his voice made his chest vibrate against my ear. "I forgive you, you forgive me?"

I move back to look at him we both bit back a grin. He held his hand out & I shook out, ending with kisses on the cheek.

+

Hours after work, I found myself at home & hugged up with a bottle of wine. I kept thinking about Jaxon and our talk about forgiveness. Soon, I was annoyed. I kept looking at my phone and then back out the window.

"Fuck it," I muttered and dialed Nate's number.

Of course it went to voicemail.

What's good, you reached Nate. You know what to do. *beeeep*

I started out the voicemail with a deep breath. "I'm not drunk alright? Listen...I've been fighting myself on whether I should call you back after weeks. I wanted to tell you that I forgive you, but I don't know if I'd mean it. I forgave Jaxon today so why can't I forgive you? And I know why...it's because it hurts more with you. I don't know what hurts more...the fact that you gave me shit for everything & you had someone on the side. Or the fact that I keep getting visions of you two together...she's gorgeous, you know? Perfect coke bottle shape, that's what every guy wants right? Or maybe it's because you were talking to her on the side through all this because maybe you weren't too sure about me. As if she was your backup plan in case things went sour with us...maybe I was the backup plan? This is all based off assumption and I'm so fucking angry that I don't know how to let this shit go. Pretty pathetic...don't you think? Anyway...don't call back. I'm actually glad I got your voicemail. I'm tired of crying and hearing your voice would only make it worse. I hate you so much...I hate that I can't say that without immediate regret. (sigh) I don't fucking hate you, just what you did. I'm not gonna...I'm not gonna call again. I might change my number too, I think some fangirls got a hold of it. I fucking hate your fanbase (laughs)...alright...and I lied, I am a little drunk. I lov-- Bye."

I couldn't believe I just left that lengthy message. But I immediately turned off my phone afterward.

+

"Lux," Elijah shouted from the other side of the door. "Wake up, it's 1 o'clock for fuck's sake."

I grunted as I went to answer the door, a complete zombie with hair strands going in every direction. Elijah was frightened once he saw me.

"Okay no," he spoke with his toothbrush in his mouth. "After you fix whatever this is, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"What's up," I asked in a raspy voice.

"I have to pick up pre-ordered donuts for work and I'm running late, can you get them for me so I can save time? It's already paid for, just show them the receipt on the table. I also put a $10 next to it in case you wanna get yourself something. I recommend the toffee nut latte & the maple bacon donut, it's to die for. Thank you so much."

I didn't even have time to respond but who am I to turn down coffee & an expensive donut?

+

As soon as I got up the stairs, Elijah was already walking out the door.

"You're a doll," he exclaimed. "Thank you, thank you! Oh honey...you didn't put on a little mascara?"

"I'm going right back to bed, Elijah. I'm sure I'll survive."

"I'm guessing you didn't get the latte?" He reached into his messenger bag, looking for something.

"Nope! Got three donuts instead. The maple bacon, like you said, a powdered strawberry jam filled one, and their Boston Cream one...absolute favorite."

"That's nice, hun, open your mouth." I did what he said and he placed a stick of gum on my tongue. "Chew, chew."

My face twisted. "Okay, thanks. It's not like I had time to brush my teeth or anything."

Elijah smiled and gave me a hug. "Enjoy the rest of your day. We'll talk later."

"Have a good day," I said as he headed for the stairs.

"You too!"

I waited until he was out of sight and spit the gum out. There were still two donuts left for me to eat & I didn't want them to taste like mint. The apartment was nice and cool once I got inside. It was my fault for wearing a hoodie in 80 degree Los Angeles weather. I immediately stripped down to my tank top & pajama shorts that I never bothered taking off.

When I got in my bedroom, I almost had a heart attack. Nate was sitting on my bed with his hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt.

"I was about to kill you with my bare hands," I placed my hand on my chest. "What the hell are you doing here? Did Elijah put you up to this? I mean, clearly he did."

"Actually I asked him." Damn, I missed his voice. "I haven't been gettin' much sleep. Been stayin' in the studio til the sun comes up and still I only sleep about 4 hours after that."

"And that's my fault, I'm guessing?"

Nate flashed those dimples and stood up. "Nah. I got your message."

"I know...it was a drunken accident."

"It doesn't matter," he moved closer to me, taking his time & diving into my eyes. "I missed you, lil mama. I need to tell you straight up...you were never a backup plan. I don't know if you're used to bein' a first choice but you're mine. From the moment I saw you, I knew that."

He takes out the 2nd phone.

"I had this for almost a year," he continued. "And yeah it was never a work phone. But I cut all communication with Nia and any other chick that thought things were more than what it was. They were just a night but I want you every night." He hands the phone to me. "Wreck it."

"What?"

"Throw it, crack the screen, put a hammer to that bitch. I don't wanna see it anymore."

I scoffed and tossed the phone onto the bed. "I just wanna go back to sleep. I don't even know why you came."

"Because I love you. That ain't easy for me to admit lately, bein' in love. I used to be with this girl and she was my everything but she talked behind my back like I wasn't shit. Said my dreams of bein' a rapper were dumb. That I should stick to college and get a real major because basketball wasn't doin' it for me either. She was fuckin' toxic. And yeah I got scared when I started fallin' for you because I ain't want that shit to happen again."

He began to get a little red in the face and I could tell how emotional he was getting.

"When you talked to me about my music soundin' like everything else, you didn't tell me to give up. You helped me move forward, you made me a playlist to help me. You stuck by me and stood up for me and I know I ain't findin' that anywhere else. The way you used to smile after you kissed me...you have no idea how much I'm in love with you. Please forgive me for everything...because you're right. There's Nate and there's Skate. I only wanna be one man for you and only you."

Tears started rush down my cheeks. "How do I know you won't switch it up again? How do I know you won't be 'Skate' around me? Mr. I-Don't-Cuff should we have more arguments? I'm scarred from my past too, you know?! All you men are like gold on the outside, all for show. Walking around like you're perfect beings and you never do wrong then having the audacity to treat others like shit when you're doing wrong yourself. I don't need you to be gold. I need you to be real."

"I'm real. Please..."

I needed to push aside the past and stop letting it dictate the present. And if I knew what I needed to do, why was this so difficult?

"I'll tell you what," he wiped my tears. "I'll give you time to think about it. Just never forget how much I love you."

He kissed me on the forehead & I got a whiff of his cologne. Funny what the sense of smell can do to a person; it can be an aphrodisiac or even worse, trigger memories.

"Before I go..." He walks to the other side of my bed and reaches toward the floor. "I didn't buy this so that you'd take me back. I bought it because it was your first love just like music was for me."

He picked up a cello...and my heart sank. I forgot that I told him about that.

"I saw it in a window and I had to get it for you. So, you can learn how to play again."

I was speechless once I got my hands on it, nearly wanted to cry some more. The fact that he listened to me and remembered, it meant more to me than he could ever know.

"Thank you," I spoke quietly as I sat down with it.

"Anytime," a corner of his mouth rose. "I'm gonna go...so I'll leave you to it."

I closed my eyes, getting a feel for the instrument & remembering how happy playing cello used to make me. I remembered the school concerts and practicing at home until it was time for dinner. Looking past the pain of selling it just so we could keep our heads above water for another month...I started to play by memory. Sonata in A Minor D. 821: Adagio. I used to practice it for my audition piece to get into multiple schools. I cried a little as I played. There was a part of me coming back, a part of me that I lost & never looked back at. And I missed this.

After a moment, I paused and finally looked up. Nate was still here, standing in my doorway, listening to me play the entire time.

"That was beautiful," he said.

I tapped my fingers on the bow as I quickly thought on my toes.

"Yeah," I whispered. 

Without much more thought, I rushed up to him, crashing my lips against his. I realized how much I meant to him and he was the same toward me. To each other, we were both the imperfect notes arranged to create one perfect melody. He was the music; awakening the parts of me that I didn't know I harbored.

I was so wrapped up in him that I didn't realize we moved into the living room. We fell onto the couch, making up for all lost time with our lips.

We stopped to look at each other. My heart was beating like crazy and I felt like I could breathe so much better.

"Hey," I smiled as I caressed his cheek.

"Hey," he smiled back.

"What now?"

"Hm," he took a deep breath. "I was thinkin' I'd take you on a vacation to Laguna for about a week, just us."

"Oh yeah?" I kissed his nose.

"Mmhmm. And then when we get back I was thinkin' you could work beside me on the next project. Do some experimenting with a new sound, it's all about growth, right?"

"Oh definitely."

He exhaled and rested between my legs; his head on my chest while I play with his soft hair.

"But what do you wanna do today," he asked, mumbling into my shirt. "I'm all yours."

"Well," I thought. "I did wanna go back to sleep."

He did his little soft chuckle and got up. Then he took me by surprise, picking me up & taking me to my bed. He placed the cello and bow in the corner, kicked his shoes off and joined me. After putting his arm over my waist, he looked to me for a kiss to which I happily obliged. 

Nate ended up falling asleep before I did. And just watching him sleep had brought me so much peace in my heart. Now we can finally just be.

- The End -

_______________________________

Author's Note: 

We made it!

Sorry it took a while to get to this point. Girl...if you only knew how exhausted I've been. Let's just say people are crazy.

Anyway!

Give me those thoughts and those votes!

All we have left is 90210! I'll be updating that next week Sunday!

Thank you for all the love you guys have shown for Like Gold, it's sooooo very much appreciated! Love you guys!

xo