Draco

I’m still in love with you.

I had been so hurt thinking that Eriel had left me that I pushed her out of my mind. I went to the next girl that had looked at me the same way. I love Hanna. I really do, but I couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if Eriel hadn’t been kidnapped. It’s still kind of hard to fathom how my aunt could do that to me. All the emotions for her had swept back into my heart, and I don’t know if there’s room for both her and Hanna there.

On one hand, Hanna wouldn’t be totally crushed if I let her go. Simon is there and the last time that I had seen them together she seemed happy, happier than she could ever be with me. I mean, I have to be away from her, not protecting her, through the whole war. I had a feeling that she didn’t even know if she really loved me or not. She seemed like she never really knew what to do with it, her love. She would always run back to Robbie, before she met me that is, but she seems to be a little lost. When I saw her with Simon, however, she seemed grounded.

Eriel was my first love. Was she really meant to be my last love?

Hanna was my second love. Was she really meant to be my last love?

“Hey, mate,” Blaise said from behind me.

I about jumped a foot in the air. I had been pacing in my room. I was also sweating because I was slightly nervous. I was too young to be deciding whether I was in love or not…but I had a feeling that I was meant to be with one of them. I just didn’t know which.

“Hey,” I said, looking up from the floor and at my best mate.

“So, E’s back is she? Where did she disappear off to?” Blaise asked, noticing that I was so nervous. “Are you still in love with her?”

Do you still believe in true love?

I shrugged. “I think so.”

“What about Hanna? I thought that you were in love with her,” he paused,” but I also thought that you were in love with E last year as well. That is until she proved to be a bitch and ran off. I thought she was better than that.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that. She was kidnapped, Blaise.”

“Oh, is that the little story that she came up with?”

“Blaise, she was kidnapped by Bellatrix. She was held hostage in my own basement for Merlin’s sake!” I yelled, getting angry and not at Blaise. “She took away the best thing that had ever happened to me and made me believe that I was the bad guy, and all for You-Know-Who as well.”

“What are you-“

“He needed me broken so I would go through with his bidding. He had to make sure that I had nothing to live for. Why do you think my dad turned to drink and my mum just distanced herself away from me? Huh, Blaise? It makes perfect sense!”

He shook his head. “How do you even-“

“Know? How do I know, right?” I said, getting in his face. “I went straight to Bellatrix this morning, and she told me everything. Eriel is just a last minute replacement on Astoria, who just ran off in the dead of night. Good thing she’s not branded or her ass would be toast right about now.”

Blaise blinked at me as I backed from him and rubbed my face with the palm of my hands. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know any of this was going on. I couldn’t imagine what’s going through your head right now.”

I sighed and pulled my hands down. “You don’t want to know what’s going through my mind right now. I don’t know who I love. I don’t know what is real in my life. For all I know, my life is just some cruel dream that I’m going to wake up from any day now.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Blaise shrugged.

I looked at him in disbelief. “For once, my best mate, my brother, doesn’t know what to say to me? You always have something to say. You always have some piece of advice. The one time that I need you to actually give me real advice, you can’t do it?”

He shrugged. “You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. It’s only one that you can get out of by yourself. I wish I could help, but you have to pick on your own. Right now though, I would say to marry E. If not for love, do it to save both your lives as well as Hanna’s. You still have time to think on it, just enjoy the time with E that you have. Who knows? Maybe E is really the one you’re meant to marry.”

I nodded. “You’re right.”

“I’m always right,” he laughed and clapped his hand on my shoulder. “We better head down or you’ll be late for your own wedding.”

“I’m sorry, son,” my dad said, crying his drunken eyes out. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I nodded. “It’s okay.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I should’ve stopped it in the beginning like I wanted to. I didn’t want you to grow up broken. Now look at you. You should be graduating from Hogwarts and trying to figure out who you are. Not getting ready to go off to war and die for a cause that won’t even last till the end of the year.”

I had never heard my dad speak like that before in my whole entire life. Lucios Malfoy didn’t apopligize for anything or to anyone. With the war at Hogwarts the next day, he’s breaking down just like I had always imagined that he eventually would, but I never imagined it like that. I actually didn’t imagine how he would break down just that he would. I guess I was right, but still I was too shocked to say anything so I didn’t.

He sighed. “I’m the worst father that ever existed.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You did what you had to do to stay alive and keep me alive as well. I couldn’t ask for a better father.”

“But you’re broken because of my poor judgment, and most likely you’ll be dead in just several hours time.”

“You didn’t know what you were getting into. Besides, you tried to get out and then did what you had to do to survive. Don’t  apologize for that,” I half smiled at the pale man. He didn’t look like he believed  me though.

“You’re words don’t make me feel better,” he sighed. “At least it makes me feel better that you actually married the right one.”

My heart skipped a beat. “How can you tell that?”

I nodded up and at the top of the stairs E was looking down at us, worry showed in her eyes. “The way you look at her says everything, son,” he took another swig of the mead in his hand. “I used to look at your mother the same way, before everything that happened.”

I shook my head. “You still look at her like she’s the only woman in the world.”

“That may be true, but she doesn’t look at me the same way. She blames me for everything that has happened as well she should,” he then stood with a grunt from the sofa. “Go to your wife. She loves you a great deal. You love her too, and that other girl isn’t right for you.”

“How do-“

“How do I know?” he smiled at my surprised expression. “I can tell with the way you won’t touch her. That always means there’s someone else. What? Is she some girl from Hogwarts and on the other side? That’s why she hasn’t come round? If she truly loved you, she would’ve came for you or sent someone for you. If she was on our side, she wouldn’t be afraid to make an appearance. Think on it.”

I nodded and looked back up at E, who smiled wearily down at me.

“Touch her tonight, son,” my father caught my attention. “Let her know that you love her too.”

“What if I don’t?” I asked, my heart quickening in pace.

He sighed, his eyes looking even more solemn than before. “You might not get the chance.”

I watched him walk away into the kitchen before starting up the stairs. I stopped just before E. She bit her lip but didn’t take her eyes off mine. She loved me. It was written all over her face. And I had the feeling that she wouldn’t  love anyone else as much as she loved me.

“Do you still believe in true love?” she asked in a small voice.

I nodded but didn’t move.

“Do you still believe in us?” she asked in a whisper.

 I closed the small gap between us pretty quickly. I wrapped my aching arms around her and pressed our foreheads together. He breathing became ragged at my touch and her knees gave a little. My heart was pounding a million miles a minute. I tried to think of a time that I had that much emotion when Hanna had touched me, but only warmth and security. I never had a rush when I was with her. Not like that where I went week in the knees and my heart sounded like a hummingbird’s. My mouth never went try. I never went without eating. I slept even less with E on my mind all night. Hanna would creep into my thoughts at just the right time and make me feel guilty.

Hanna. What was she doing? Was she wrapped comfortably in Simon’s arms? Was she kissing him passionately? Does she feel the way I do? Does she not touch Simon because she still feels tied to me?

That’s when I gave my aching lips a break and kissed E full on the mouth. I didn’t know what would happen the next day. Perhaps dad was right. Maybe I wouldn’t get the chance to do this ever again. I could die tomorrow without ever kissing E. I could die without ever seeing Hanna again. It was time that I did something about that. So, I picked my wife up bridal style and took her for the wedding night she didn’t get but deserved.

“What are we looking for again?” Crabbe asked for the thousandth time.

I rounded the corner and heard an explosion. I pressed myself against the wall, and Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle followed my lead. Chunks of cement and brick flew and hit us. It was sickening to see. The place that had been my home for previous six years was being torn apart right in front of my eyes.

“No idea,” Blaise said, looking at me.

I shrugged. “All I know is that it’s important to Him. Potter will be searching for it, so if we find him, we find what He wants.”

They all nodded and followed me once again since I had started moving once more. People were everywhere. Spells were flying everywhere. It was hard to avoid being hit without your wand out. That’s when I saw a mess of black hair disappear up the staircase and headed straight for it. The fifth floor…what had been on the fifth floor? Oh, yes. The room of requirement. That’s where Potter must’ve gone, I thought to myself and headed straight for the door. Thinking that I needed to find Potter the whole time. The door appeared, and I pushed it open only to find a mess of a room with a bunch of lost items. I heard something fall to the ground and headed for it.

“Found it.”

“I think that belongs to us,” I said, noticing that Potter was holding an old tiara in his hands. What He wanted with it was a mystery to me, but if he needed it, then we needed it. No arguments there.

I don’t remember exactly what happened next except that spells where thrown and the Golden Trio had ran off. In pursuit, Blaise and I tried to slow them down by driving them further into the room. Crabbe and Goyle were on our heels. I then heard Crabbe mumble something, and I turned my head to see that fire was spewing from his wand. I noticed right away that it was cursed fire – if it touched you, you might as well kiss the world goodbye.

“You buffoon,” I swore and took off.

Blaise and I tried to get away, but the fire engulfed around us as it followed Potter and the other two. I did the next best thing and climbed the pile of rubbish that was closest. I knew that I had to make it back to E. If not, she would be broken forever.

Something then flew up above me. I looked and saw that Potter, Granger, and Weasley had found brooms. Lucky bastards. What surprised me was when they doubled back. Potter had his hand reached out and was coming directly for me. Take help from Potter? Well, I had no choice and I had a wife to get back to. I grabbed his hand and was pulled onto the broom. Weasley grabbed Blaise. I had no idea where Goyle had gone to. When we got outside, Goyle was waiting for us but there was no Crabbe.

Crabbe. He had been so loyal to me. I knew that he was just a stupid buffon, but he was my stupid buffon. He and Goyle had been there for me since before I met Blaise. He couldn’t just be left inside to burn to death, so I turned on my heel and ran back to the doors. Potter caught me and I cried out.

“Crabbe!” I sobbed. I couldn’t help it. For a blubbering idiot, he had grown on me.

“Come on, man,” Blaise said behind me. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Not without Crabbe,” I said. “He can’t be dead.”

“His fire was too powerful. It took him the moment it came out of his want at full force,” Blaise explained as Potter let me go.

I nodded and got up, staring at the doors. One of my friends, or one that I should’ve considered my friend, was gone. I had never imagined one of the buffoons out of my life. I guess I should’ve treated them better. I made a mental note to start treating Goyle like a friend.

“DRACO!” came a shriek that sent chills down my spine.

Hanna?