In my office, I blindly fill out the files. Then I brought them back to the boss. In the elevator, my dull and smiling face was reflected on the mirrors. Was that what I looked like? Like nothing? My cheeks were hollow, as if I had not eaten food for ages. My pale complexion was like one of a dead body. My eyes circled and lifeless. How could I have let myself go in this extreme? I was nothing but an empty carcass. I had to recover as quickly as possible, but it was so difficult after the adulteries of my husband and the child I had killed.

The tinkling of the metal cage awakened me from my thoughts. I raised my head high, and knocked at the boss's door. I entered after his authorization. I handed him the papers and went away, but he interrupted me.

"Alicia, wait. I'd like to talk to you," he said, seriously.

I sat down in a chair and waited for him to continue, curious to know what he was going to say.

"You've been a very good assistant so far. You are always very punctual and orderly. But in some of the files you gave me, I could see some mistakes you would not normally make. And, you look pretty... it seems your mind is often somewhere else. So I'd like to ask you, is everything okay? With your husband?

"I'm sorry. Are you sure there are mistakes?" I exclaimed, stunned.

He handed me the papers and I saw all my errors. I was shocked.

"I'm confused. I hadn't seen them... I am extremely sorry, sir."

I shook my head, unable to believe my eyes.

"Alicia."

"Yes?" I said, raising my head as he looked at me with piercing eyes.

"You didn't answer my question. I know it's quite personal, but it clearly mess up your work. So, do you have any problems with your husband?

"I... No. Everything is fine," I stammered as I stared at my hands.

"Please, Alicia. Look at me."

I lifted my face tightly.

"All is well," I said clearly, but it was not the truth.

And I thought he saw it too. I put a false smile on my lips and apologized again before getting up and getting out of his office.

I took my hand again, the time to finish this excruciating day. I had to act, this situation was unbearable. Sitting at my desk, I took my phone with a trembling hand and sent a message to my husband stating that I would come home late from work. I was lying. I finished at nine o'clock, but I wanted to surprise him tonight.

***

That evening, I was waiting for him in the kitchen. When the lights went out, I sipped a beer while sitting in front of the table where the divorce paper I had already signed was wisely resting. And I was waiting for him to come home from work. I finally heard the engine of his car approaching and then stopping. He was there.

The front door opened and then slammed. Panting and whispering followed. Then shrill cries grew louder and louder. They were doing it. They were fucking. I could clearly imagine. He came in and out of her when she was glued to the front door. When they reached the pure ecstasy, I could not help my tears flowing.

I kept the bottle of beer close to my chest, as if its freshness could alleviate my pain. Wrong. He had succeeded in trampling to the limits of my being. My heart was his for years, and he had broken it in a short time. Like that.

Suddenly, the light turned on, dazzling me at the same time. I narrowed my eyes and hid them with one hand. I dry my tears and then breathed a good blow. I knew that my husband had stayed in the doorway. I knew he was looking at me with a stunned face.

"Sign this paper," I said with a monotonous voice. Anger had invaded my being. I kept a face devoid of emotion. A stone mask.

"Alicia, I..."

"Sign this paper."

He came towards the table where the paper lay. I could feel his gaze on me as I stared at the piece in front of me. After a moment I thought interminable, he took the sheet in his hand.

"You want to divorce?" he asked shocked.

"I signed, didn't I?" I replied with a sharp tone.

I then took a sip of beer without ever looking him in the face. Normally, I kept a soft and simple tone. But today, I didn't want to be sweet and loving to this man.

"You shouldn't get drunk like that..."

"I'm not drunk. You know when I said I didn't drink, it wasn't because I didn't really drink. On the contrary, I hold rather well. But, instead of buckling my health by drinking, I preferred not to drink at all... Until now."

"Ali..."

"Shut up. Just sign this divorce paper, that's all I ask you. If you had a little respect for me, you'd sign it. "

He sighed, then his hand holding the pen as if he were idling his signature. My heart beat painfully in my rib cage. My lungs were like tablets. I was suffocating.

It was good. We were divorced. And I was unhappy. Broken heart. I was not crying. I could not do it. It's been four years of common life dragged in flames.

In one hand, the bottle and in the other the cruel words, I got up to get out of the kitchen. She, the mistress, or rather her future wife, had remained on the threshold of the door. She moved quickly to let me through. At least she had had the decency to dress up and look sad. Strangely, I didn't feel hatred towards her. More jealousy. She had managed to take my husband, ex-husband, like that. I didn't realize it.

Once in the corridor, I was tempted to turn my head to see where they had done it savagely. The front door. I held back and remained motionless for a few seconds.

"In our own house... The one we bought together," I said disgustedly.

"I am..." he began, but I did not want to hear the sound of his voice.

"No! Shut up, I don't want to hear you," I interrupted him forcefully.

Exhausted, I climbed into the room and packed my suitcases. I only took the bare minimum to stay one night in a hotel. I had already photocopied all the papers for a complete divorce.

When he saw me come down with a suitcase, David asked me where I was going. He was completely panicked. I informed him that I would never sleep here again. He tried to dissuade me from leaving in the middle of the night. But I could no longer bear to be in this house. With him.

And it was thus that I went away for good from that man whom I had loved for years. A one-way love. A love that hurt.

At last I was no longer hampered by the chains of this marriage that I thought was healthy and happy. I was finally emerging from that vicious circle of love in which I could never have won. Free, but broken.