Patton eventually went back to work, so I decide that I'd go explore the city a little bit. I had a day to kill before I had to start working here.

I pick up my cup to drink what's left of the delicious beverage and toss it into the trash can on the way out. The city's still bustling outside, not caring that I've just gotten a job, not caring that I may be alright now. It never cares, and maybe that's something I should learn to do. If I didn't care so much when I was younger, perhaps I would've have been so damaged by the comments and abuses of my peers and mother. Maybe I'd be more stable now.

There's nothing I can do about that now. The past is the past, and now I'm here. I need to live in the moment and focus on being here.

Billboards flash, ads roll by for practically anything you can imagine, taxis honk their horns as I walk by them on the sidewalk. It's all too much. It's all way too much, but it's my life now.

With a sigh, I continue my way through Time Square, trying to get a feel for how this city works. An ad catches my eye, making me look up at the giant billboard that was displaying an advertisement for a new show that was opening in a week. I look at it thoughtfully as the silhouette of a young man appears on the screen. Perhaps they need help running the sound board, or the lights?

I shake my head. It's very unlikely that a show opening in a week has any need for a new techie; even if they did, they'd have no reason to hire someone with no experience in Broadway.

Putting on my headphones, I make my way to Central Park. The massive park would be a breath of fresh air after a long walk through the tall skyscrapers of the city. They felt like they were caging me in, preventing me from seeing the calming sky and making my lungs feel constricted.

I let out a sigh of relief as I reach the park, seeing seemingly endless amounts of green. I couldn't hear the sounds of the cars and people with my headphones on, allowing me to enjoy the peace of the park.

A song plays through my headphones, and I recognize it instantly. It was Collar Full from the Panic! At The Disco album, Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die. My heart swells; this song always made me happier, and long for the feeling of love. However, I've never truly experienced it, not even on a platonic level. My mother certainly never loved me, and I never had any friends, let alone boyfriends. That's not to say I didn't want one.

My gaze scans my surroundings and lands on a couple. They're sitting together on a bench with ice cream, giggling and blushing at each other as they talk and flirt. One points out that the other has some of the sugary treat on their lips and leans in to kiss them sweetly.

I avert my eyes, feeling as though I was invading a touching moment between the two. I've never had anything like that.

With a sigh, I walk out to the grass and lay down on my back, imagining a different life. In this life, I had a loving set of parents that supported me. They encouraged me to pursue theatre, to find love. My classmates all enjoyed my company, and I had a few friends that I'd never trade anything for. I was a high school actor, and I got spotted by a talent scout at one of our main stage performances. I became a Broadway sensation, and today was my day off. I was lying here beside my loving boyfriend, who came to see me in every show if he wasn't involved with it in some way. We met playing romantic interests in one of my first big shows. They always say that show-mances don't last, but we've never been more in love; the engagement ring on my finger proves that. We've never been happier.

I subconsciously move my hand down to clutch his, it falling on the empty grass beside me. The feeling of happiness I got from the dream life I had disappears instantaneously. The absence of the hand I'd wanted to hold reminded me that it had just been an idea. 

I let out another, heavier sigh that's full of pain and loneliness that I had to admit was weighing heavy on my conscious. 

~

After my walk through the park, I gave up on exploring the noisy city of New York and returned to my new apartment. The next morning arrives and I wake up early so I could go down to my new job. 

Pulling myself out of bed, I get on some clothes that are easy to take off, knowing that I was going to receive a uniform once I arrived. The walk was just as short and noisy as it had been the day before, but the sky was still black above. I'm still able to see because of the ridiculous amounts of lights and billboards. 

I arrive at the coffee shop early and ready to learn how this new job works. Patton greets me with a bright smile, something I'd never be able to accomplish this early in the morning. "Morning Virgil!" he says, waving me to follow him into the back. "We've got your uniform back here and your name tag already printed out, so you can take this and go get changed in the bathroom then meet me behind the counter, m'kay?"

"Okay," I say quietly, taking the clothes he was holding out to me and heading for the bathroom. 

My thoughts wander as I close and lock the bathroom door behind me, letting out a sigh as I pull off my shirt. Patton seems nice enough, but I wasn't sure how well I'd do in this position. I've no experience with caffeinated beverages and the other hot drinks they served here. He'd reassured me going into this that there was really no experience required, but I was skeptical. 

Nonetheless, I finish changing into my new uniform and get a good look at myself in the mirror. It definitely wasn't that bad, despite it being a little more formal than usual for me. I appreciated that the shop's colors happen to include purple. I clip the name tag onto my breast pocket.

"Is this okay?" I ask as I emerge from the bathroom, looking down at myself and then up at Patton for approval.

He smiles warmly, nodding at me. "Yeah, you look great! Purple's definitely your color!" he says. I flush a little at the compliment, knowing he means it platonically, but still not used to encouragement from other people in my life. "Now come on back here and I'll show you how all these machines work."

Patton walks me through how to make each of the drinks on the menu for about half an hour before the store opens. It was easier than it seemed, so I wasn't too nervous about making the drinks, it was more the taking of the orders I was worried about. Fortunately, my new boss offered to take orders while I practice making the drinks. There are less customers so early in the morning, so it allows me to get a feel for making custom orders 

"Ah! Morning Logan!" I hear Patton exclaim from behind the cash register around 7:30, after being open for about an hour. Now that the sun was in the sky, more people were trickling in, and evidently, he knew who this man was. He smiled even more sweetly at him for a reason I had an educated guess on. "What can I get you today?

The man he was addressing, Logan, was dressed smartly in a black polo and blue-striped necktie, and he straightens his glasses upon addressing the more chipper man. "I'd like my usual, please."

"Oh, okay, I'll make it for you!" he replies, blushing a little as he rings it up and then moves toward me. "You can take a break for a couple minutes, I've got this one-"

"Who's this?" Logan asks, gesturing toward me as he moves to watch Patton make his drink from the other side of the counter. He looks me up and down, seemingly analyzing me. I look down, letting my bangs fall over my eyes as my new boss explains that I'm a new worker. "Oh, how pleasantly surprising to see a new face. I'm Logan Sharp by the way, you'll most likely see me often. I won't order a coffee from anyone else."

I nod understandingly as Patton blushes and smiles, letting out a little giggle. "So how's that new show coming along?" he asks as he gets to work making the man's drink. 

Logan sighs, shaking his head. "It's fine, but we suddenly lost a stage hand to an illness, so everyone's a little stressed," he explains, making my head snap toward him. "They were a diverse one too, so they were able to offer a helping hand with lighting, sound, and practically any of the technical elements of the show whenever someone needed it, and now we're short a techie."

"Wait, you're working on a musical?" I ask, not taking him to be a musical person. 

He nods, turning to me with a raised eyebrow. "I'm the dramaturge and stage manager for the newest show to grace Broadway, it's opening in a week," he explains, straightening his tie. "But like I said, we've been a little under pressure with the loss of a stage hand."

"Well, I have some background with theatre," I say, feeling grateful to whatever force happen to guide me to work for the man who's possible boyfriend was a stage manager for a Broadway show in need of a stage hand. "I used to tech for the shows my theatre department did in high school. If you need a stage hand, I'd be happy and honored to fill in for them."

Logan looks thoughtful, and turns to Patton. "Would he be able to work his hours here around the rehearsal schedule?" he asks. 

"Of course!" he promises, smiling warmly at him. 

"Then you're perfect, I'll talk to my director about getting you cleared for the show," Logan tells me, pulling out a little white card, a business card. "Message or call me with any questions, I'll send the schedule through an email once we've got you officially hired, alright?"

I nod vigorously. "Yes, thank you! Thank you so much!"