1-11-16
And it's no secret that I never quit,
Because addictions are something
I can't put down.
Maybe I could've tricked you into it a year ago,
But see,
My problem is that there is no problem.
You cannot see this.

I've been watching the world come together,
Everything magnetizes
Like we used to,
And it's all so damn connected.
I've been watching it fall apart, too,
But I'm not seeing much of a difference,
Will somebody explain?

Slip down the staircase
And fall into railings of
Star stained pillowcases,
Let your dreams die
On the steps
To the City Hall,
Where it all began.
Cracked windows
And checkered flooring,
You hang from the ceiling
And we're spinning,
Going down.

Sugarcoating sentences is something I've never been good at,
And you should know I'm starting to feel insane,
But I cannot pull these thoughts
From the depths of the swimming pools
I drown them in,
Because secrets are all I run on
When not even sleep wants to stick around.
Look into the mirrors
And notice my reflection,
Smudged and carved into the glass-
Are you afraid of the person
I've become?

Chains and wires
Don't work like they used to
And not even discipline
And bruises,
Brings me to you.
River water and cop lights,
The fall is so high,
How come I'm the only one
Being stopped tonight?
And who made that call?
Did your hands shake
At the blood in the sink
Or did you only walk in for a drink?

Morbidity stains your heart
Like its blood red,
White fabric is dangerous,
We've never been pure,
I feel I've been here before.

Screens are too bright,
The train's going by,
But I'm gonna scream,
You're the only one I'll ever need,
Please tell me it's not over.
Last time I remember,
You never were sober.

Bottom line is progress,
So I've gotta hit low to get there,
I'm not where I was a year ago,
I'm not sure if that's good or bad anymore.
Lit up a cigarette and took my name like candy,
But the only thing you've downed is pills
And acid like a battery.

Darkness and daylight
Feel all the same,
The otherside of the fields
Keep calling my name,
These demons breathing
Like they don't feel pain,
Cause my god I feel the weight.
Can't you feel the weight now?

Your eyes never trusted me,
And bags of clear euphoria,
But white lines of mystery,
Made you second guess.

And the blades on blades on blades,
Cuts all up my arm,
Your disgusted by any way
I've tried to self harm,
And it's no secret I'm not done,
They all know I'll never quit,
I fall back on these habits,
Like I need the shit.
Could've been different,
Could've made more of myself,
But instead, I stuck with it,
And they all took me to hell.
- (m.m)