1-10-17
I can't lull you from my veins
We're magnetic at best
Even when it rains,
You were a sucker for the Lightning,
I was a sucker for your tears
Because even pain is experience, dear,
We've been tripping on dead wires,
But it's not getting us any higher
This ground keeps on sinking,
And your eyes start to feel tired.
Spring is slipping like a rope,
And my hands are made of fire,
But I'm loving every second
Like it'll never die.
The realization hits me
That there's love in this life,
Even love in the reflection of a knife,
And I'm hooked on all the edges
Of addiction
You couldn't swallow
As easy as I could.

It's conversations with mirrors
When nobody wants to call,
And smoking under stars,
To dream I've got it all,
Because skies never break,
But for you,
All of my darkness fell to its knees.
Cold water and ice blue sheets,
It's been months now,
And one text is all I receive.
I hope New Years was great for you too,
I still haven't gotten over your voicemail,
The echo stops me everytime.
Truth is, I think of you, no lie,
Connect you like freckles on the face
Of a stranger, but I don't draw the lines,
I suppose I didn't with you, either.
The hurt died out for the most part,
But the deepest thoughts I have,
Tell me I love you when the days start.
From dawn till it gets dark.
I'm okay with where I'm at these days,
Connecting more than everything to you,
Because you were more than a drug,
And all of these habits might kill me,
So I figured I didn't need the memories.
I scrape them around on a plate,
And line it up like our mistakes,
I overdose one last time,
I never wasted a dime,
I'm not caught thinking of you yet,
And it's over,
I'm out.
One last dose,
Watch the lights fall down
Like stars in February,
And I'm sorry.
The track plays out,
I'm fixated at a wall,
Took down the adventures,
And erased it all.
You can stay here if you need,
My city's got lights,
And I know you dropped the knives
November 26, on that long night.
It's over.

Overthinking and ibuprofen
For the blood loss,
I start to wonder what I've become.
Conversations are half lost to the hours
And I stopped the limits.
My head is so cluttered,
But I'm feeling like myself,
Because I'm so far from empty,
And I constantly have something to think about,
Something to kill time with.
The sleep deprivation got me thinking
None of this is accidental,
That maybe hope and purpose
Go hand in hand
In the shards of being so desperate they need me.
Reality feels distant,
I know i belong somewhere bigger
Than what is locking all of the pressure,
That this classroom can't be where I stay.
I watch these people with foreign eyes,
Thinking, this is what I could be made into,
With nothing to fall back on anymore,
It's me and the music.
I watch hip hop wait and wait,
We've been wanting to work it out for years,
Perhaps we were afraid of hurting each other,
Maybe we wanted to be sure,
But it's all natural from here on out,
And I think it's going to stick-
We've been just waiting to break through.

Change is something sweeter before it happens,
The possibility is what's so filling.
These hands are just artist's hands,
I've only touched city walls,
And collected bottles.
I've only experienced and felt
And bled
And loved
And wrote with these hands.
They're still dirty
And covered in smudged graphite.
I can't cover up who I am,
I can only accept it,
Even when I'm misunderstood.
⁃ (m.m)

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense tbh. Idk. After I lost so many people at once, I kept thinking "how am I gonna ever meet someone great and not worry about it ending" but tonight I'm realizing, it's not about the end. I've known the ends of things before they happened, and the best thing you can do is live it like its not ending but keep that awareness there. You don't think about it ending, and that's the magic of it, of anything, really. The way I see it, just because it ends doesn't mean it's not worth it. And I'm in no position to say I haven't been completely torn up over endings, because they've destroyed me before, it's the fall from the heights, and the acquired love for the wind in your teeth and the pavement below, but there's still love there, even if it's not something everyone would deem as safe. I think I'm constantly loving and hating, and the scales get tipped one way or another and everything feels off. Or I'm numb, and then somethings really wrong. But all of the best things end, but they wouldn't be great if it weren't for that. They end and they start, that's what life is. Endings and beginnings, but the cycle never stops. It halts but it picks up again.

Text to a friend ^^
(Tbh I like showing you those things, I like sharing more of my life here besides strictly poetry. Also I really should post my raps on here, I haven't gotten around to it though. I have one in particular that definitely needs to go up but who knows when I'll get that done. Maybe I'll even do a separate book for my raps? Idk comment if you'd rather them be here or separate from poetry?? Aight thanks)