1-3-16
We'll build this house from the ground up,
On nothing but love,
And circumstance.
Cigarette smoke may trail and follow me,
Bottles of liquor may break
When they hit the hardwood,
Fall from above the cabinets
When the world starts to fracture,
And smiles might fade
When mirrors fog over,
But the walls are not to blame.

I met you in the city,
And lights were all we had,
So I smoked
And you watched,
Trading poisons.
They told me loving you was dangerous,
But I love the smell of gasoline,
And I'm sorry,
I'm sorry you played me like a card
And I wouldn't take it back if I had the chance.
I know you would.

Endings were beginnings in July,
Vape smoke turned into cash,
Because she doesn't need it any more,
And you started chasing a high.
Tolerance will kill you before that does,
I promise.

The snow doesn't melt,
But it does hang thick,
With my breath feeling thin,
While I wish for more time in the world
But I had just that
And it didn't work out too well.
I wish for sleep
And to be able to think,
But even the best of life
Can destroy me.

White isn't white anymore
When the paint is all dirty,
But I haven't been closer to home
Since I had a manic episode
After talking to you in Mark's kitchen.
It rained that day,
Or maybe it was just overcast outside,
But I could feel the water weight
Crushing my bones and draining the blood.
It all feels like a warped image.

The thoughts come hazily,
And I meet my secrets
With a certain love I can't deny,
Because I knew they wouldn't leave,
Just cycle in a new personality.
You'd think I related or something.

Clean rooms don't mean clean wrists
Or arteries
And I know I'm needed,
Because calls are that much more desperate
At 2 and 3 am.
Perhaps some things never change,
Even when the characters do.

The words
Please stay
Felt foreign
And cold,
A distant memory,
But you hung the words
On every doorframe
Of a phone call,
And maybe I could say
I matter.

I'm looking at a ceiling of artificial glowing dots,
But I didn't make any constellations.
What was it all like before it ended?
You felt safety in a house
I loved,
And you loved,
In a house I felt safe in,
But it wasn't my kitchen
And it wasn't my lips.

I'd like to tell you we didn't blast CDs
And eat top ramen,
Smoke weed,
And roll our own cigarettes,
But the picture frames are cracked,
And maybe our love was grand,
But our house was home,
And the regret comes naturally,
But we know no better than to build this bitch from the ground up.
- (m.m)

This has a lot of influences to it, everywhere from my ex girlfriend to my best friend's house to an Internet friend to so much. The words are worth more than what you'll see, but this sort of wrote itself in very unique ways.