1-2-17
What if I showed you all of these scars,
And after all of the smiles and anxiety,
The lights shut down
And my god, I'm exhausted
Running in circles.

The rope slipped last spring
But things are reversed
When you know you've got aces in your hand,
And you lay it all down.

Just be patient,
I'll be on those streets soon,
And it'll start raining soon,
And I'll be home.
I'm somewhere I don't belong,
And I've got memories and time all ahead of me,
Have you ever felt the future like this?
Like you know it's there
But what is time anyways,
Because the future then is what is now behind me,
And the words stopped clicking
But nobody's looking to see
If I checked out of this fucking room,
Nobody's looking to see
When I leave myself.

All I do is fill with hate these days,
And it's not the kind I fall in love with.

To tell you the fucking truth,
I can slide down walls
And stab at my veins
And be just fine,
I can sleep all day
And want to throw it all up
And be just fine.
Fuck the hope,
I've been trying to save myself for five months.

The repetition is a cage
But variety is sweet,
But few and far between.

Who am I becoming
Who am I becoming
I hate what I'm seeing,
Please tell me I'm worth saving
Because lately I'm a master at
Throwing it all away,
And fuck everything.
Maybe I'll never fucking make it,
Maybe I'll never get there,
Maybe I'll die before it all happens,
Let all of the power lines catch fire
Because I can feel them sparking up
And I'm walking on a tight fucking wire.
The music is loud
And not because I lost a tolerance,
But because I hate it,
I hate what saves me,
And I'm sorry I'm sending you through this
Because you don't even know where I've been recently,
And it seems I am not made for schedules.

I don't care anymore,
Can't you see that?
I got three years running
But fuck it.
I can't keep pretending
I'm making progress.
I can't believe after all of the love,
I can hate what I do this much.

I'm on one track right now
And it's nothing to do with a stage,
One lane highway,
To where the demons play,
And I'm drowning in hate,
Because I can't look past what I've seen in my sleep,
And I can't look past what you've done to me,
So take your words,
Take your pain and take the hurt,
In your eyes,
I'm just worth dirt,
And I'm ready to destroy it all.

Different lane switching,
Gaining speed,
Hoping a foot pedal
Will help kill me,
Because it's never been so bad,
But I've had it all so good,
And you can't make sense of that,
But in my shoes, you could.
They told me I had changed,
And I think that's true,
I ain't the same since you knew I cheated on you,
And I've got blood on my hands,
And it's not yours anymore,
I slit at the neck of my desire,
So I'd keep sinking through the floors.
Following orders by something unknown,
I'm a little fucking sick.
- (m.m)

I'm seeing myself in an abandoned house but I have the power to crash the walls out but they come back, anyways, because without these walls, I'm nothing. I'm hiding behind rap lyrics and secrecy. The doors all lock and my eyes are fiery red, and I don't have a body. I'm a floating smokey black figure, but I'm still a person underneath of it. The windows are broken and it all looks fine from the front porch, but oh god, if you knew the half of what goes on in here, you'd run like hell. I'm spinning slowly, and I've got cities in the palm of my hand, but I'm burning them all, because destruction is the only thing I know.