8-13-16
We smile with teeth stained via cigarettes
And endless cups of coffee
Intended to make up for sleep.
My limbs have holes in them,
(I'm starting to feel weightless again.
That's my new favorite word of the week,
can't you tell?
I'm just
W e i g h t l e s s)
Im not sure the cause of it,
Whether it's you or maybe I'm
Doing this to myself.
And I want to tell you that you'll do
Things you never would've imagined
Yourself doing,
That life won't work out how you
So vividly saw it would,
But these are things you already know.
Tell me you recognize this.
I know on the other side of the glass,
A place where you're so untouchable,
You're there, somewhere.
You're busy trading knives for words,
And love for mistrust and sex,
To give a shit about me these days.
Oh god I need a cigarette.
I know you, I know you, I know you-
Better than most people.
What happened?
But I know I've got everything I need
Right here.
I've got the things in my head,
I've got people who haven't left yet,
I've got love,
And ive got family,
Even if it took over a decade to find it in
Strange places and
Circumstance, it's here.
I may not come home to it,
But it's there.

I know that there's a box under your bed,
Shipped to your door step by a
Best friends brother,
When you both lost someone you
Called family.
Would anyone think much of it?
I know you two had two halves
Of a journal, but one half
Can't be finished.
I know that when it rains,
There's noise from the tin roof
Of a shed, that works like magic 
With your anxiety.
I know you've got Pierce The Veil lyrics
Written all over green walls.
I know you used to have a
Syringe under your pillow,
and although it was empty,
Your mom still worried.
I know you've got stickers on your walls,
From a simpler time of your
Youth, and you've just never
Gotten around to peeling them away.
I know the story behind the orange lilies.
I know of The Top Of The World in Reno.
I know you have my flatbill hat
And a book of mine.
I've never walked into your bedroom,
But I'd love to just look.
Because it's not just me who knows
You don't smell the same.
Look the same.
Act the same.
Yet I told you I was okay with that.

Everybody's a cheat,
and I wanted to prove you wrong,
But there's no way you'll see that
My intentions are better than they seem.
And just for tonight,
Please,
Believe me.
- (m.m)