12-17-16
I gotta be four different people on the screens,
Shaking so violently, I can hardly breathe,
The anxiety keeps me alive.
I live for these nights,
Nights where I can see prison lights.

Tell me how to swallow these emotions
While I fall helpless
To the ghost of you
And all of your power.

Sometimes,
I think I'm better hidden,
Because I run better on secrets
Than I do on emptiness,
And I know that calls for
Bad communication,
But I can't relay that
Without you understanding
The rise and the fall.

I want to kiss the face of dawn,
Because it seems to glisten
And catch in the frames of light,
In shades of pink
And new beginnings.
I find it somewhat strange
That I love the night so deeply,
So intimately,
But it's beautiful when it ends,
I wish my life would go out like that.

I'll try to get my shit together
But fuck this,
I'm somewhere I cannot stand to be,
Won't you stand to me,
And talk slowly
Because I'd rather down your sickness
Than feel mine,
So tell me all of your weight,
Let's balance.

I see the light,
It filters in through the holes in the ceilings sometimes,
I see it in small glimpses.
You'd think I'd learn how to make it last
But that's a skill I no longer have,
And it's not enough.
It's not enough to feel this misplaced.
So I stay in a basement of creativity,
Hoping I'll write these walls to a better place.

You drove and I watched,
As the streetlights froze.
The screens weren't necessary,
Because my city would be here,
It's always here,
And I don't need to keep it all,
My memory hasn't failed me once yet.

Swinging through my streets,
Throwing love like its a fucking party favor-
I don't want anything back anymore.
It's been nothing but progress,
And I know I've been getting more familiar
With the bottom of hell,
Because I'm counting my days in charcoal
On the glowing walls,
While I breathe in smoke.
You can see it in my eyes that I'm a heathen,
And sometimes I wonder what the exit door looks like,
But I know it's a lot like the one that flashes enter.
I'm bettering myself,
And I'm fighting demons,
But I'm really finding the fighter within me.
We've spent too many months fighting for all of the wrong reasons,
It's time I do this for me.

I watch as the lights flicker
And I feel the bricks as they start to release,
Lifting and evaporating.
I can't say it's over,
But for tonight, it sure as hell feels like it,
And maybe that's all I need to live for.
- (m.m)

All of this is so real, you guys, like this is literally a sum up of a little over 24 hours back home. For right now, I think we might be okay. Also, would you be interested in some recent raps being posted?? Bc I can make that happen lol love you xoxo