12-13-16
Time,
Such a dizzy concept,
Got me spinning on the edge
Of numb and a bottle of pills.
I'm so far from present,
Do you see it in my angel eyes,
Looking like the devil when you see through the lies?
Tell me I'm not second guessing things
That don't deserve it once,
Because I should be done.
But if those words leak,
I won't be paying attention,
I manifest my energy on the things
That cannot love me back
But I've got some power in my head
Because I swear to god,
I can feel it breathe my soul to life.
I didn't think it'll be that easy to die.

You hold onto me like I can't be broken,
But that's a dangerous decision
Because summer just burnt up
And I've been wrapped in those flames
Since August.
I want to go back,
But the memories are enough,
And I don't know if that's an aid to the pain,
Or maybe I'm letting go,
Living like we've only died once,
And not a thousand times over.
It hurts that I lost you,
But I look in the mirror,
And I deserved it.
That's okay, though,
Somehow, it had to happen.

I've laced myself with fire but sometimes it comes undone,
And slowly,
I fall from the levels of hell I call home,
But I can't leave.
I can't leave because I don't want out,
And you've seen me fight for all of the wrong things,
But I'll pay the price.
I'll pay it because I'm rich in everything you cannot see.

I think we're okay,
I think we're getting something right,
Even though I'm so caught up in these flashing lights.
We still do it like we do,
And I still run cities in my head,
Because even when the people leave
And the memories rot,
I've got the skeleton of this empire
Sparking underneath the surface.

I can't even comprehend how I got here
But it won't last if I don't put the work in.
I'm putting the fighter back in me,
And the music is all I got most nights,
While I hang from the 808's and trip on sleep deprivation.
It's about pushing through the pain
Until you've got nothing but love,
Because these memories
Won't hurt for so long I hate them,
It's something I have to stop.
This is a road I have to walk.
And if you want to street walk and stargaze,
Go for it,
But you're down or you're not.
I know what I need and I know it needs me just as much,
I'm where this art can exist,
And I wouldn't exist without it.
⁃ (m.m)

Be bold in the face of destruction, stay strong and keep fighting. Things can get shitty, but don't let go.

This started out as like half my perspective but other things happened lol