11-8-16
Talk about hours, talk about time,
As they both slip through the dreamlike realms
Of reality
When it doesn't connect
None of it connects.
- (m.m)

11-8-16
I love the way it sits in my stomach
And makes me sick,
and it's heightened when there's no food in my system.
I just love it,
I can't help but think that this is my friend,
A long lost kind of love
That I'll turn to and turn to and turn to.
Is that addiction?
Is addiction loving what's killing you?
Or is it hating it with no escape?
Is it both?

I'm not weighted by this,
but my body might feel the affects.
I don't say I regret it,
Not at all,
It's gotten me through things..
And i think that scares me,
That I can turn to this at my darkest times when I need it,
And it's there to help,
Help like the skeletons in the closet can't anymore.

I like the visions of holes burning through my liver,
I like the visions of my lungs crumbling into themselves,
I like the visions of throwing up,
Throwing up blood,
and I like the visions of the dark things in my head,
Like the wind in your teeth as you're falling falling falling,
Or the edges fading out,
Or bodies that go limp,
Or sedation from whatever is running through your bloodstream.

I'm disconnecting now,
My body is lighter,
and I think this will take the worst from me for awhile,
I'm not sure where all of that goes though,
Maybe I can convert the energy.

These eyes are tired,
And I wasn't supposed to look back-
That'll only tempt the rest of them to go down, too.

Headaches without the hurt,
Fuzzy feelings and blurry emotions,
Things go slow,
but grasping the concept of time can be hard or not, depending.
Slip me into sleep,
And let me wake up and have you linger.

Make me feel weightless but heavy,
Swim through the cobwebs,
And get me a step closer to okay,
With no guarantee of seeing it (it's worth it if it's closer though).
Fuck with my head and take me down,
Numb the pain.
Send me away.
Acetaminophen.
- (m.m)

11-9-16
In cars of Marijuana,
Speeding like a motherfucker,
Turning our lights off like it isn't dangerous,
Blowing smoke at the world,
Finally letting go
As we drift into the atmosphere.
The moon drips off just for us,
And we're too busy appreciating it to keep chasing pavement.
Waste these days onto paper like I'll never be stuck at a dead end,
I'm being selfish with my life.
'I fucked up today',
raise your hand if that's you.
Look at me as if you know,
But Jesus Christ, you must see it,
You've read pages not everyone sees,
Even if the reality of that I regretted.
That was cigarette night, I'm pretty sure.

I'm skipping through these days,
The hours start to fade,
I'm letting go of everything
for what's inside my veins,
Sifting through my bloodstream,
At least this stays the same,
I'm fighting demons everyday,
We're the same level of sane,
They've seen it all,
All the shit inside my brain,
And their smoke starts to invade
So I'm trying to get high,
so I don't have to live a lie-
I won't have to fake what's in front of me,
I won't have to hide,
Be real with myself
Because right now, I'm feeling fine,
Up in the clouds
Like we learned how to fly,
My squad knows my name,
And they all know why
I stick in it with a rhyme,
Even if I smoke em all the time,
Smoke your fucking 808, like it's Mary's time
Married to the crime,
and my partner is the best of me,
When we kick it, we ain't in it for the dimes,
Been here since the start,
Only one goal in mind,
We take all that's behind
And we lay it on the table,
Hit it like a rewind,
take it back to April,
Success is the dream,
I know damn well I'm able,
Take the game
We don't settle for less,
I'm not saying I'm the best
But I'll work my ass off to get it.
I'm not saying that I rest,
It's the price you pay to win it,
I'm not saying life's a test,
But keep going till you finish,
The truth ain't well dressed,
But for me, it's fitted,
Take what you want,
Go out there and live it,
Nothing's stopping you,
So why don't you go and get it?
Like these fucking records,
this world keeps on spinning,
It doesn't matter if it's a brick wall that you're hitting,
It's the nights that we kill it,
Cup full of dreams,
My city gonna refill it,
This is the legacy,
If I quit then I'm dead,
I won't die with the music,
It's not just in my head,
Join the club, yeah go ahead,
Tell me I can't do it
So I can make a bet,
Lay it all on the line,
Like it's Russian Roulette,
This is a choice you'll regret,
This kinda love you can't reset,
Even if they all resent,
What I'm doing,
Now it's my time to prove it,
Watch me, I'm gonna do it.
- (m.m)