10-18-16
Scream like there's nobody to hear it,
Watch as my hands fall and go limp,
Hanging in the glow
Of your essence,
Because maybe I don't feel at all
Until I'm feeling you,
and maybe an addict is just what I am,
I think we're both alright with that.

You're going in slow motion
As something refreshing hits me.
Old habits die hard,
And I'm everything I used to be,
But I'm full of what I've been waiting to say,
Things I've been waiting to face.
It's like I've been hiding in a corner
From the truth
(Ironalically. I find freedom in what I call truth),
Like we're just going around in circles,
Till one of us made the first move.

Speeding through these night dreams
and day drinks,
The cities we're shooting for,
The zip codes we represent,
They're holding on,
We're holding on.

You're some kind of phenomenon to my senses,
Letting go is something I never did,
And I just want to breathe through your lungs,
Because I've got this back
And I'm goddamn greedy,
It's stupid to let this control me like it does,
But control is something I don't want to have anymore,
Not around you.

I could fill this head with highs that don't cut it,
But they're not you,
In a room full of bodies,
A thousand eyes full of lust,
But they're not you.
You break the empty like it's silence,
and I'll wait for you
Like all I've seen are red lights
I'll wait for you
Because there's a chance you're reading my thoughts
Through a screen,
And this realization's got me feeling fucked,
But you're better than any drug,
Because no matter what I take,
It's not you,
And that's all it's been,
But I lost myself to the routine of lying to myself,
I wouldn't say no for anybody
But you,
Because I did you wrong once,
And I wouldn't do it again,
I've spoken those words before,
But, well,
They're not you.

--

Numbers and dice,
Long sleepless nights
Dreams and gold
These are the cards we don't fold,
Cause 9-5 gets real old,
and we're so sold
On the idea of what we're told
Is something pretty bold,
Rebellious is the new black,
In the city again, I'm back,
Look at the pavement with cracks,
Look at the way the music shakes,
Through your ribcage
Said you've been high half your heartbreak,
But all you can do is take,
As you open your palm,
But that's not where you shake,
Your train of thought carries some freight,
While your bones carry the weight
And you think you might break,
I can't fix it, it's too late,
I'd touch you but I should wait,
We already expect fate,
Because desire is the Devils date,
And you're my bait,
But love is something you don't create,
Feel it in your fingertips,
All I see is your lips,
Through the ambience,
You're all I'd kiss,
You're all I've missed,
And I think I've met you in a past life,
Must've been through some shit,
Because those eyes look dark,
Swim through their sockets,
Like a shark,
With a scent so sharp,
You're like a dagger through the room,
Drifting, your skin's real cool,
And your mind is a pool,
I see you sinking,
Baby, please stop thinking,
Bring it to the brink,
Right before you crash,
Slapping down some cash,
Like you've got nothing to lose,
Just living fast,
Drop the facade,
This isn't your last,
You'll take another drag,
You'll down another pill
Who's the motherfucker who told you it could kill?
Got gold up in your grill,
Pulling out another bill,
You want to hit real low,
For the simple fact that they'll never know,
The places you go,
In a room all alone,
It's not even romantic,
You're throwing your phone,
This is the murder you wrote,
Spiral notebook and the letters almost float,
As the tears fall,
I fear it all,
Just a girl with a glass real tall,
Used to shoot for the world,
You hit a wall,
And you never used to call,
But maybe I should've,
If you ever picked up, maybe I would've,
But it's not like I could've
After you dropped it at the subway,
Lost to the freeway
Of accidental gravity,
The rain's coming down,
Look at the paper I found,
All the secrets
You let hit the ground,
Because you'd lock yourself in your room
And never come out,
But without a doubt,
She was probably just coming down,
Maybe I should've been around,
Not like I can do it now,
But this silence screams real loud,
Louder than the music you listened to,
Bigger than the wall you ran your fist into,
I'm crawling through your window,
There's nowhere to go,
When she catches in your throat,
Before you even know,
that you should've just taken her then,
Shouldn't have played pretend,
Because you can't spell it
Without the 'end',
I was hardly a friend,
Let you decay like this,
Watched as your body would break and bend,
But I never asked where you had been,
But I know now,
I don't need to talk to god,
He's shaking his head, no doubt.
Can't say I'm better than this,
This is everything I'm all about,
Do you see myself in this, now?
- (m.m)

Wow idek I didn't even expect that to to there, the last stanza is a story within itself really