10-17-16
Numbers, they swim through the facts,
Bottom line is, I'm lost to the routine,
Lost to a handful of memories I call a life,
Some of them I haven't even lived yet.
Hung up on realizations,
and as many as I've had,
Some things you don't plan for.

Bottling the stars,
Smoking em,
and stringing em up,
We're fireproof,
That's it.
I'm going full speed ahead,
No savior come dawn,
But I've been busy for hours on end,
Just trying to survive.
I'm not overthinking,
I'm not documenting,
Because I'm careless again
So let's break like the cigarettes
Behind your eyes,
While your hair falls.
Falling used to be an emotion,
But I'm not even hanging in the air,
I hit the ground,
But it's nothing like you think,
The aftershock is hazy,
But the afterlife feels right,
Don't let me sleep,
The moonlight tells me nothing is lasting,
We need to drag this out
Because we live for nothing
But these moments,
We don't live to die,
Please wake up.

She ain't felt good in a couple of years,
Dropped off so she didn't have to face any fears,
and I know you know what I'm talking about right here,
When I say this shit like we're the only ones who will hear,
and maybe that's real,
Cause you used to deal,
but now you just fuck with yourself,
Your favorite kind of hell,
Is all of this pain you've always felt.
She deserves to feel pretty,
Without the barrel of a gun,
When he's smiling like it's fun,
Damn, you got me feeling dumb,
Because these things used to make me numb,
But they don't really leave, like a rerun,
But I've had you recorded for some time,
You're a master of disguise,
Beat me to my own lies,
And I'll lay it on the line,
Because im young, reckless,
And baby, I've got time,
The whole world in front of me,
Sitting on the roof
For the whole world to see,
Cause nothings stopping me from doing me,
Take over my thoughts, you're just what I need,
Look at me with those starry eyes so I can breathe,
Don't talk to god, but I pray you don't leave,
Even though I'm all I need,
But I couldn't even get out of bed,
Because all I've felt is fucking dead,
No matter how much blood I shed,
Won't you swing this way,
Submerge me in the things you say,
I'm afraid this is much too personal,
And we've both been playing games,
In different worlds,
But all I want is you,
and I'm sorry,
But this is the first time it's felt real in weeks,
Won't you tell me you see,
Tell me you see and tell me you believe,
Because I'll lie my life away,
But I can't to you,
Not when that's what I used to do,
Can't you see I'm such a fool for you?
Can't you see all that I'd do for you?

Shitty rap songs and crumbling pavement,
Bridges and streetlights,
Nirvana and Call Of Duty.

Let's just exchange how bad we've fucked up.

What if you're the only drug I ever had,
And what if I can't touch that atmosphere
On my own?
I just need a reason to believe.

Is this all were gonna chase until we die,
Because love's going down like vodka,
And we just want another shot.

Oh I remember us talking about back home,
Blowing smoke,
On the railing,
Looking out at all we've got to risk
If we turned around and walked out,
I remember the anxiety that hadn't left,
Because sleep wasn't something that
Could seep too deep and blur the lines
Between necessity and a coma.
They knew,
They must be aware
That I am fire,
I said it on the gravel,
But words don't always travel,
Sometimes they dig deep
In the wrong places,
And fall between the filters of familar faces.
I wonder if they like the way I spit fire,
Because they don't talk no shit,
We're all just fucking around,
We're all just holding onto these nights,
Because we don't go down without a fight.
And i had bruises and smudged sharpie
On my arms,
Some lyric from when I could obsess
Without it feeling empty and temporary,
I had a rubber band,
Because pain was a drug,
And I miss that tolerance.

Build me up when you're breaking me down,
Put me through hell,
I've felt nostalgic lately anyways.
- (m.m)

Memories memories memories ugh I've got this magic back.