10-13-16
You're in that feeling when the plot of another dream starts up,
Right before it all hits the ground,
Because suddenly I can't breathe,
But not for the reasons you think
And ive been sitting with hollow minds,
Shallow bodies,
and I carry the weight of a thousand lives
On my shoulders,
A thousand fuckups,
A thousand days,
A thousand songs,
A thousand lyrics,
A thousand shards of broken CD'S and glass,
A thousand smiles in different shades,
A thousand tears,
A thousand times I swore this feeling would last,
A thousand days just on the motherfucking brink of the edge,
A thousand bottle caps to suppress this shit,
A thousand misplaced emotions
(You feel dead too right?)
And a thousand temperatures,
A thousand secrets,
A thousand people,
A thousand dreams,
A thousand promises,
A thousand broken lies,
A thousand obsessions,
A thousand realizations,
A thousand repetitive poems,
A thousand emotions,
A thousand numbers,
All floating through my head,
A thousand times through Otherside by Macklemore,
A thousand walls,
A thousand fights,
A thousand texts,
A thousand calls,
(Ten hours ten hours ten hours)
A thousand times this dream is so close,
Like my name will go up in lights if I really wished it to.
A thousand pictures,
A thousand hours of destruction,
A thousand hours of work,
A thousand hours of love,
A thousand memories,
A thousand headaches,
A thousand hours of missed sleep,
A thousand pens,
A thousand windows,
But only few really meant something,
Just like the walls.
A thousand times through
And this shit gets through,
How many times can one fucking song save you?
A thousand wake up calls
But I'm the only one who gets myself
Out of this goddamn a coma.
A thousand nights
Without heat,
A thousand pipes below,
Bound to freeze,
A thousand days I can't forget,
A thousand scars that only I'll remember
By the time you can't see them.
A thousand lies,
Thorough my teeth,
Straight to your eyes.
A thousand sunrises,
After hazy pills
and schedules that kept me grounded.
A thousand messages,
A thousand pages of potential
But a thousand times over,
I'll destroy it,
It's learning to be okay with that,
I need to love the fight again,
A thousand years later, 
I'll be up with the stars.
A thousand scratches,
Dig these nails deep,
Until you're just numb,
A thousand conversations with a therapist,
A thousand nights that save my life,
But a thousand more to drain that light.
Because if the fight doesn't take away everything you've got in you,
It ain't worth it,
I'm literally shedding blood, sweat, and tears,
This is a place unreachable to the darkness.
A thousand talks with my walls,
A thousand times I'll watch you walk out
(You but the gun to my head,
but tried to tell me the gun was in my mouth,
All I'm left with is bullet shells
(Quite literally))
And thousand scents, all separated by names, faces, and months.
A thousand times I'd do anything to go back,
A thousand escapes.
A thousand adventures,
With a thousand hearts.

To my walls,
Because I learned to rap Ten Thousand Hours for you,
These walls know it's not for them,
I still write for you,
I still love you,
Because im not letting go of the city til the day I die.
I still hold you as close as possible.
I'm tired,
I know you can hear this.
This is how I get to you.
Things aren't easy,
I know you'd tell me things weren't ever easy,
Because you knew truth before I did,
And we've been in it for a long time.
I know you'd remind me of how I got here,
How I've been here before,
Little blood shed,
And we made it,
I know you'd tell me this is only temporary
And you'll be standing for a long time.
I'd hug you like I did,
On that part of the wall that never got fixed,
And I'd cry,
But I can't physically be there,
And it hurts,
But dillon told me to keep my head up,
My dad told me to keep my head up,
You'd tell me to keep fighting,
You'd tell me how much love I've got for this shit.
You live inside of me,
You're the half of my head that I need to bring out.
I'll try and try and try until the numb is out of my system.
It's all in my control.
- (m.m)