10-9-16
Oh my God you're everywhere,
You're in the rain,
You're in the way
That scarf slips around my neck,
These bruises aren't from your mouth,
I'm sorry.

My life comes in glimpses,
But why is this section drug out,
Take a drag,
I'm drugged out.

I'm trying to find a way to capture an aesthetic
That's so close,
Yet So far away,
And you couldn't possibly know what that means.
It's Linkin Park,
and snow,
Cold water.
It's basketball shorts
and "FUCK FUCK FUCK
I'LL CUSS UNTIL YOU STOP TELLING ME I CAN'T"
It's quiet dark rooms
(Remember that library underneath the church,
Listening to Bring Me The Horizon
On the steps inside,
Somewhere between lovers,
Back when you watched the silhouettes
On the carpet,
And things felt cold,
But you forgot it all?
Nothing mattered in that space.)
And purple fingers.
But it stands for very different things
According to what I've seen lately.

You see, you could spend the next five years sober,
But all it takes is a drink and a word
And some cussing on the floor,
As the self hatred swims in your liver,
and you haven't gotten any older,
Have you?
What if my body never gets older?
But I've learned,
Going back in your head
Doesn't get you anywhere but
A hole of nostalgia,
Your body doesn't move.

Rebuilding has always been a strong suit of mine,
But I need it refitted.
- (m.m)

Pull the trigger,
After it touches my tongue,
Bounce off the curb
As your lungs start to run,
But your fingers are having fun,
Nobody gave you a gun,
But you got your mind on a bottle of rum,
And the tunnel vision
Started playing tricks,
Darling, this isn't a trip,
Won't you slow down?
I chase you down the street,
But I'm afraid of what you could do to me,
I'm afraid to scream,
So I cover my mouth,
But you're two blocks down,
And I think I'm stopping now,
Because it's too late
Tell the cops I've been meaning to wait
But I knew you had a past
That lingered and sped fast,
I knew you pushed yourself over,
But that was before you weren't sober,
and now it's all over,
It's too late,
The blood will say
All you need to hear,
It'll drain your face,
Now you're pale like the sky,
"And you loved this guy?"
Aren't we all capable in the end,
But some of us have worse friends
In our heads,
Oh, dont you know,
Some of us dance with death?
And I'm sick of writing it out,
Because that's the shit nobody cares about,
Maybe I'll leave state,
Because I want it over,
Wasn't it just over?
I keep thinking your secrets are mine,
But somebody is bound to find
All the shit that I hide,
It'll spill from my skull,
Later on in life,
When my heart gets real dull,
We both know that's so lethal,
But you're on something illegal,
and your eyes are so far from me,
I'm just looking for something,
But you're losing your life,
Somebody flickered your light,
Before you shut it off,
Don't say goodnight,
But you can't say my name these days,
Your ghost sinks between my sheets,
You see, it must really love me,
Because it fills my dreams,
Nobody thinks of you,
You told me that's what they'd do,
But I do,
And I probably should've followed.
But as he's running through the questions,
I can't help but lie,
Because I shouldn't have watched you die.
- (m.m)