9-22-16
You're staining these tracks,
Staining them deep.

And when the beat starts,
After showers of smiles
I haven't felt in a long time
(The kind that hurts your face
(It's like my body knew something
Was coming))
And lyrics of nostalgia,
Texts of history and pasts,
Your name lights up my screen.
It's crazy that I get so excited,
Because lately, you've been so distant,
And I couldn't get over the fact
that after all I've lost lately,
I lost you through your own bitter
Days and 9-5 shitshows,
Insomniac nights and alcohol,
I couldn't believe
After all of these years,
You can send a text to somebody
Who destroyed you,
But I never had you,
We weren't close under the same roof,
and I couldn't help but feel I'd lost you,
Before you were in my life very long at all.
Your scent,
Your hoodie,
The memories of you I have locked away,
Buried beneath Linkin Park lyrics and
Basketball shorts in December,
All of my questions about reno
(The one that's dead),
It's here,
You're here.
And I'm scared to get too excited,
But I'd wait a thousand years for you,
You know that right?
Because I know you don't know what
To do with this kind of experience
And weight on your shoulders
and urge to shut the doors
Till not even the moonlight
Can find you,
But it'll be okay,
And no, I dont care about fallen words
and broken promises-
I know you never wanted to do that to me,
Let's take this a day at a time,
And in less than a day,
You'll be in front of me.
- (m.m)

Fix these broken walls,
Let me know you see
What's happening,
And I don't expect you to understand,
but if I could rewind to Valentines Day,
I would.
Just us talking in the kitchen,
While you were drunk
And I was at a crossroad,
Before making a decision,
One of the best I've ever made,
But we just talked,
Talked like my mom wasn't drunk asleep
On the couch,
Talked like I hadn't been crying to Paramore,
talked like my legs weren't shaking,
Nervous to believe I finally have you,
and you mean something, the distance was gone,
Talked like you didn't drink too much
And I wasn't too sober,
Talked like all we had was love for each other,
And you know,
Seven or eight years of our lives
Crossing without them actually
Intertwining,
Was worth it,
You're worth it.
- (m.m)

I have too much faith in people,
I've been dreaming too vividly lately,
Because reality is so goddamn boring,
I'm just looking to skip a few meals,
Fuck some shit up,
and live,
I dont want to feel dead.
Will pushing my body to the limits
Give me that?
- (m.m)