9-17-16
So this is it?
The end of road
As it sits,
Crossed this pavement
But it's all fucking over
I looked across the white lines
Through the white lies
And I broke,
But I never told her
That she made me so much colder
and I know you've got no clue
That even when I'm dreaming,
I see you,
And I can't talk to you,
I can't do anything,
And you're walking out,
Baby don't look now
But that's one more string cut loose,
One more thread to tie the noose,
Blasting music doesn't do
What it used to,
But neither do we.
I don't expect you to see
The stone cold change in me,
Because I tell you I'm getting it
Together, packing my shit,
But I'm not,
I'm decaying,
And I've listened to you,
But you don't hear a word I'm saying,
When all we ever did was fight,
As I tried to grasp the concept of light,
I wish it wasn't too late to make it right
Because all I wanna do is fight
But I'm sick of words,
I want the blood, the pain, the hurt,
And I'm becoming what you've never met,
She used to wake me up in the mornings,
Way back before the facade
Way back before it got
This bad,
Never thought I'd be this mad,
Screaming just to feel better
Under this stormy weather
And I'm a sucker for destruction
But it's taking me in its path,
All the shit we had
But of course it's my fault,
My bad,
I'm sick in the head
But you only question
The cough drops on my bed,
Trust me my body isn't the best
But my mind is so close to dead,
I've been saving myself
With shades of red,
Surviving through skin I shed,
These days are a do over,
A repeat of tracks
I'm home again
On the railroad tracks,
Thinking of everything
Hell lacks,
Because is something this bad
Really my heaven?
When did I lose the ignorance I had
At the age of seven?
I picked up a pen and
Maybe without it, I'd be dead,
Tell me you see this,
But if you did,
You wouldn't believe it
I've nothing but lie to you
Scan my eyes for you
But they don't reflect a thing.
Never said I'd die for you
The tables have turned,
They don't stop spinning,
Try to see my intention
Even though I'm sinning.
I never meant to say goodbye to you.
I'm sorry
- (m.m)

Sometimes you fuck it up so bad, it's irreversible. But you told me to make peace with it, and I will. We fought a lot, but somewhere I loved you. I wish the circumstance was better, but you deserved so much better, I hope you've found that. You're not reading this, but that's okay. We had a good run, thank you. For Jorge.

10-8-16 it says this didn't publish???