9-5-16
the rain is soaking through the pavements
And I'm drifting through
Air scented by memories,
The kind that get you high.
My body should be as indestructible as my mind,
It's all in my head,
but it isn't anymore.
It's here, I am alive.

The streetlights light up for me
For you, for our city,
For this electricity.
It's dark, and I'm cold,
but it's refreshing,
Like I'm awake.
I smile because I've got futuristic
Promise slowly seeping up from
My lungs.

Oh god just smile at me like you do,
Because the weight of your world is
Apparent,
But tonight we don't smile poetically
(Yet we're forms of art. Nothing really makes sense but we're so beyond caring),
We've got wild smiles and your coked up eyes
Look so pretty in the moonlight.
Favorite souls connect so easily
To favorite places.
Windows of escape have been left
Open wide, like the wounds bleeding out,
Staining carpet, staining eyes,
Take the weight off of my shoulders tonight
and we'll shatter the shit like the bottles we empty.

Confession doesn't scare me,
That's what I tell myself,
Confrontation is a matter of a repeated
Set of words, I've been through this.
Words like ammunition,
And I'm so used to war,
I've got my immortality back.
So waste your bullets,
You don't have shit on me,
You don't have any power,
Not if I don't grant it to you,
Because god only knows what I've been told,
God only knows I see straight through you.

I write like I've got the world in my mouth,
I write like I have so much to say,
And maybe I do.
- (m.m)

Those demons held you captive,
Questions were all running through my head
Because maybe that half smirk
and sense of humor is a
Fucking
Facade
Nobody questions,
But, I'm made of questions.

I want to write powerful words
But I see you sinking
And it looks like I'm swimming.
You've lost your power,
I've lost my sanity,
It fell down that bridge
Do you think it's tempting?
Do you watch the water swirl,
The currents pull,
Do you look at the water
Like you do your veins-
Like giving in is a purchase away?
You're escaping,
You're running,
I'm a bit of a nomad, you should know.
I'm not sure what I'm doing here
Or maybe I'm far too sure,
Because bridges connect us
More easily than you think.
It's raining again,
I miss the woods,
Where nothing mattered.
- (m.m)

9-5-16
Coming down from a high
That isn't just beneath the skin
We're addicts of the night
And we're wasted on
Stardust,
We're wasted on memories
Because life is enough.
Life is simply enough.
The tracks send us on our way
Into quiet accepting swallows of reality,
You're washing out with the tide,
I'm waking up,
I feel the cold water on my face,
I feel the darkness in my veins,
Reality is my friend,
More like a slap to the vein
The kind that sits and fucking begs
For you to dig in,
Comply to ugly sin,
Because society is a place,
That was born and raised, it was shaped
For you not to fit in
And the alcohol hits hard,
I'm tearing myself apart,
The mirrors bleed,
Before I shatter them to shards,
I'm brave, I'm a motherfucking soldier,
Armed on the battlefield,
But the sick trick of it
Is I'm the only one sitting on this field,
Against myself, what? Do I need a shield?
What for,
What the fuck do you come for
Looking for a shot to run for
Scanning for an open door
But the walls are all spinning
I can't sleep, I can't eat,
These days are already the death of me,
Two more weeks staring me down
Two more lifetimes in a dead ass town,
I can do so much more,
but look at my body on the floor
Told you I was dead,
But I'll never stop wanting more,
Satisfaction is a luxury,
and I'm a sucker for pain,
Sucker for the rain,
Sitting in that bathtub,
Needing saved,
It's the only reason I'm scared to go back
I shouldn't be alive- that's a fact,
But to live, is something I'm meant to do,
And I'll make the most of it.
But tonight, I've got too much ahead
Too much behind,
Too much time to explain
It's not what it's looking like,
But it's not as if capacity is attainable
Through words,
It's not as if my love is understandable
When I've got this much hurt,
It's not as if songs can still medicate,
Because medications all that I've heard,
It's not as if I can't dream of the atmosphere
While I'm buried in the dirt
It's not as if I'm defined by the brand of my shirt-
And it's not as if I give a fuck.
About anything here,
No, it's bad, I dont care enough to fear
Losing all I've got,
Losing who I'm not,
Losing the only fucking person I've got.
I'm not afraid,
and that's apathy and bravery,
In my my darkest hours
I was the only one who came for me
Getting texts saying
They're being safe for me
Can you live through these days for me?
Turn around and it's all over,
I'm standing on the edge of the world,
And the poets made it out to be pretty
But I'm fucking terrified.
I've been in this small space a long time,
I dont know how to meet anyone's eyes,
but the wrong ones.
I'm sifting through my lies,
Wondering which ones gonna save my life
Wondering which ones gonna fall through this time
Because repetition only works when you
Haven't given up on the rhyme,
Man I swear to God i love the fight
But I give up all the time,
When your days live for themselves,
Things seem to go that way,
I've got this image in my head
Driving to The Fray
And I had no idea that tomorrow was
The day,
The life, the laugh in the living room,
Down the fucking drain,
and I think of him more often than you think,
He's tattooed in my brain,
And I'd ask,
But quite frankly, I'm afraid,
Tell me about death,
But tell me about him,
All I know is when that Walmart jingle comes on,
He had to sing,
His car was bright green,
You did some work on that thing,
I never asked a question
about what death brings
But I don't think he thinks of me,
I dont think I should be thinking of him.
But your life is mine,
I live through that flatline,
Do you live through mine?
Do you read my memories
Like a book,
Look at the good girl
Circumstance took,
Look at how the ground shook,
That day in July,
I was free,
I had to see,
Life doesn't cease,
Not for you, me,
You and me,
Not for substance in the trees,
Not for haunting dreams
That shouldn't even be,
Not for lives ablaze in fire
Till you can't breathe.
Life stops for no one,
but we're family
and we go down together,
With these memories,
With these pasts,
The streetlights and darkness
Under the overpass,
Cutting class
Smiling brightly
Yelling "kiss my ass"
We don't know how to grow up,
We don't know how to give a fuck,
We come straight from the bottom,
Blood, sweat, and tears,
We know damn well this isn't luck,
and if the world crashes with the stars in the sky
At least we can say we lived these years alive.
- (m.m)