8-28-16
We come out of here,
Scarred, broken,
But we don't accept defeat.
And it's not just me, up in my
Disconnected head,
Dreaming of places that aren't
Yet beneath my fingertips,
Dreaming of people that
Don't dream of me,
Or can't,
Given the fact that they don't
E x i s t.
It's not just me,
There's energy,
It's running just beneath the
Cold dirt,
Like pipelines.
It's in the 5am light,
and all I know is,
We'll get out of here,
Because someone once told me
Home is a lot of things,
Much more than overflowing ashtrays
And dirty walls.
And maybe I'm just living on that,
To get me through the slamming doors
And screams and disappointment
That is so addictively familar,
Because it's that overdue time,
Where utopian delusions fall away
Inside of my mother's head,
And I see straight through her like
She's glass,
And that's what she is.
But we all know how easily glass breaks.
She's in so deep,
She convinces herself she hasn't broke yet,
And I'm trying to figure out
How to shut the system down,
But she doesn't change,
Not for truth, not for pain,
Not for anyone, or anything,
Because it's easier to succumb
Yourself to lies.
And you wonder how I got
Myself so far away from ignorance.
I live for truth, so
Inevitably I live for pain,
And I'm accepting,
Open minded,
and I think that's the simplest
Way to describe who I've become.
I'm still high on this shit like it's a drug,
Nothing's changed.
Some things never will,
And that is so relieving.
I'm still doing this shit like it's religion,
Nothing's changed.
I'm still escaping in the same ways,
Nothing's changed.
I'm still up in my head,
And you know,
I'm the only one who saw inside of that
Fucking place,
and nothing's changed,
We're still in it,
We're still kicking.
I still find the most strength
Once I get the highest level
Of disapproval,
Nothing's changed.
I'm still lost inside my head,
Because these streets
Taught me how to make home,
Nothing's fucking changed.
Nothing's fucking changed,
Everything's fucking changing
But we're still authentic up here,
And I don't have the same words,
I dont have the same house,
But home isn't somewhere that can be tied down.
Home isn't a place you can leave,
It's a part of who you are,
And I'm not saying everyone
Has home in a city or a passion,
But look for it and you'll find it.
"Look for me and you'll find me"
Nothing's fucking changed.

We're not stopping,
Can you promise me that?
We won't die when we die
And our bones and skeletons
Will be energy enough to
Light up cities,
and we put up a damn good fight,
No matter what we're fighting for.

I'm still high on these tracks,
Nothing's changed.
I'm still doing what I do,
Because I don't slow down,
I've still got dreams
Worth more than sleep,
I've still got my zip code
On my wrist,
I've still got the addresses
And numbers and phone
Numbers and dates and
Memories in my head,
I'm still saying fuck it,
Because I don't really give a shit,
I'm still writing more poetry
Than I know what to do with,
Nothing's fucking changed,
I'm still me,
And if I'm the only one believing in it,
I'm okay with that.

This is home,
And the distance never broke that.
- (m.m)