The lobby of the Municipal Auditorium downtown was packed with an eclectic sampling of social diversity. In front of us in the ticket line was a young, suburban-type couple with a toddler. Behind us? A grown man in a teal tutu. There were nurses wearing scrubs and old people wearing clown wigs. A group of frat boys were chugging beers near the entrance, and I may have spotted a vampire in the corner.

Olivia gripped my good elbow with eyes as wide as mine felt.

"Well, this is interesting," I whispered.

She leaned close. "Interesting doesn't cut it. I feel like we've wandered into a Tim Burton film."

When we finally reached the ticket window, a small girl with a jet-black bob, bright green eyes, and cherry-red lips looked up at us. She had a colorful butterfly tattoo covering her chest from her clavicle to her cleavage, and she had a ring through her nose like a bull. She was chomping on a piece of bubble gum. "How many?"

I spoke through the hole in the glass. "Two, please."

"Twenty dollars." She blew a pink bubble half the size of her face as she traded my crisp twenty for two tickets. "Enjoy the bout."

"The bout?" Olivia asked as we walked toward the entry doors.

I just shrugged.

A large man wearing a Music City Rollers T-shirt tore our tickets and handed us two program booklets as we walked into the outer hall around the arena. It was loud with the sounds of the crowd bouncing off the concrete block walls and windows. The busy room smelled like fresh paint and popcorn. Olivia pointed toward a concession stand. "They serve beer."

As we waited in line, I flipped through the program. In the middle was a two-page spread of headshots—or maybe mugshots—of the players. I nudged Olivia with my elbow. "Listen to some of these names. Lady Fury, Black-Eye Candy, Bad News Baroness, Princess Die, eL's Bells, Medusa..."

She peeked over my shoulder. "Look for a girl named Haley Jones."

"There is nothing close to a normal name on this list," I said, shaking my head. "Never mind. There's a girl named Susan."

Olivia ordered a beer. "Lucy, what do you want?"

"Diet Coke," I answered.

A few minutes later, we carried our drinks and hot dogs (that I bought) inside the arena and slowly made our way up the grandstands, one painful step at a time. We found seats just a few rows up from the team benches. I looked around the large room. "Where's the big bowl?"

"The what?" Olivia asked.

I made a circular motion in the air with my hot dog. "In the movies, they skate around a big bowl thing."

A man who reminded me a lot of my dad turned around in front of us. "Most teams don't play on those anymore. See the big circles on the floor? This is flat track roller derby."

I scrunched up my nose. "Well, that's a little disappointing."

He chuckled. "I thought so too when I came to my first bout. When I was your age, it was still the bowl."

"You come to these a lot?" Olivia asked with a mouthful of hot dog.

He nodded. "My daughter is one of the blockers. She goes by Riveter Styx." He held up his program. "There are rules inside to help you understand the game."

"Thanks for the tip," I said.

He turned back around. "Anytime."

After finishing my hot dog, I spread the program across my knees and flipped to the rules of the game. "All right, are you ready for some Roller Derby Fast Facts?" I asked Olivia.

She took a deep swig of beer. "Educate me."

I began to read. "Roller derby is played on a flat, oval track with five players from each team, one jammer (denoted by a star on her helmet) and four blockers. Blockers play defense and offense. They try to stop the opposing jammer while trying to help their own jammer. Jammers score one point for each opposing player they pass. The team with the most points at the end of the bout wins."

"That doesn't sound too complicated," she said.

I sipped my soda and shook my head. "No, but there are about a bazillion rules."

She looked at me and crumpled the paper from her hot dog. "Only a bazillion?"

"No tripping, no elbows—"

"Aww...they cut out all the fun stuff," she whined.

I surveyed the room. It was a big arena with probably ten thousand seats. Not that there were ten thousand people there. Almost all the upper seating was empty, except for a couple of teenagers making out on the top row. The lower bowl of seats was almost full. And in front of us, near the oval track, people were sitting on the floor. Even though I'd never seen the game, somehow that seemed like a bad idea.

I didn't see West anywhere.

"Is that a penalty box?" Olivia asked, drawing my attention toward the direction of her finger.

On the left side of the track were two high-back white benches with the words BAD GIRLS painted across the back. I laughed and looked down at my program. "Yes. Players who have received a major penalty will be sent to the penalty box for thirty seconds."

A loud ruckus caught our attention near the doorway we'd come in. A very, uh, spirited group of individuals were running into the room with pom-poms, megaphones, wigs, and face paint. A few were wearing bright teal tutus. One of them was the guy who'd been behind us in the lobby.

Olivia and I exchanged amused glances. "What the hell is going on?" she asked.

The crowd went wild. People jumped up and cheered, clapping and waving Music City banners. The lights flickered a few times, and then the music blared as the tutu group ran around the bottom of the stands whooping and yelling, riling up the crowd.

A man in a full tuxedo and bright purple top hat walked out to the center of the track. He put the microphone to his mouth and held up his free arm. "Give it up, Nashville, for your Music City Jeerleaders!"

We put our drinks down and stood, clapping along with the rest of the fans. I looked over at Olivia. "Jeerleaders." I laughed. "That's pretty funny."

Across the room, the Jeerleaders formed two lines out from a wide gap in the center of the bleachers.

The announcer raised the microphone again. "My name is Daddy Ho'maker, and allow me to welcome you to beautiful downtown Nashville, Tennessee! Everyone put your hands together for your favorite roller derby dolls, the Music City Rollers!"

****

Check out the video above...The Rose City Rollers. One of the best leagues in the world!

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