On September 14, I broke the cardinal rule of Fresh Meat training. I skipped practice.

Ethan texted while I was still at work to let me know he was on his way to Nashville, and I left early to be home to meet him.

The year before, on the day Mom died, Dad had taken off work, Ethan had come home from college, and by then I was living in the basement of our two-story ranch on the Tennessee River. At least we'd all been together.

Mom's illness had been quick, relatively speaking. By the time she actually went to the doctor, the cancer had already spread from her lungs to almost every other organ in her body. There wasn't much they could do to help her, except make her comfortable for the time she had left. It wasn't much. Only seventy-eight days.

She'd slipped from this world with all of us beside her.

My doorbell rang.

"I brought the booze," Ethan announced when I opened the front door of my apartment. He handed me a brown paper bag as I closed the door behind him.

I peeked in the bag. Tequila. I shuddered. "Don't you have to work tomorrow?"

He shook his head as he flopped down across my sofa. "Nope. Took the day off. Figured I was going to need it."

"Well, I didn't take the day off, so you can partake of this poison all by yourself." I handed the bag back to him and walked to the kitchen.

He raised the bottle over the back of the couch. "Cheers."

I returned to the sofa with a water. "How's Dad?"

Ethan shrugged and rested the edge of the tequila bottle on his forehead. "Beats me. He's been at work all day, and tonight, Katherine is taking him out somewhere."

"They were going to leave you home alone?" My volume dialed up a few clicks.

"I told him I was coming here."

"Oh." I folded my leg underneath me. "Well, what do you want to do tonight?"

He took another swig of tequila. "Drink."

"Besides that. Get a movie and order pizza?" I asked.

"Sounds good." His eyes were fixed on the ceiling.

"Ethan, are you all right?"

He put the bottle down between his knees and rolled his head to look at me. "Katherine rolls my underwear."

"What?"

He swirled his two index fingers around each other. "She rolls my underwear up like a burrito when she does laundry. I like that. It helps me tell the dirty ones from the clean ones in my drawer."

I blinked. "Aren't they all clean in your drawer?"

He didn't respond. He didn't have to.

"I like that," he said again. "And it pisses me off that I like it."

Oddly, I knew what he meant. Things were different, and the different is what bothered both of us. I had run away. Ethan was still living there with all the many changes.

"Do you want to come stay with me and Olivia for a while?"

"Thanks, but no."

"What about school? Why don't you go back and finish? You've only got a handful of credits left."

"I don't want to."

I decided not to press the issue. Ethan would move on when he was ready. Dad certainly had. I was trying my best to. "I'm sorry. I'll let it go."

He sighed and pushed my phone toward me. "Apologize with a pizza."

I ordered a large Hawaiian flatbread, Ethan's favorite, then called my dad to check on him. His voicemail picked up, and I didn't leave a message.

When the pizza arrived, I carried it to the sofa. I handed him a plate and opened the box. "How's the girl with the big boobs and ankle bracelet?"

"Haven't talked to her again." He chose the biggest slice in the pie and lowered it to his mouth.

"That's good to hear."

"I met another girl who lives in Waynesboro," he said around a mouthful of pizza. "She has no criminal record that I'm aware of."

"Congratulations, little brother."

"What about you? Dad thinks you have a boyfriend," he said.

I thought of West and shook my head. "I certainly don't have a boyfriend."

His brow wrinkled. "Then why are you always busy on the weekends?"

I didn't answer.

"Lucy?"

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked.

He pointed at me. "Holy shit. You have a girlfriend. You're becoming a lesbian like your roommate."

I frowned. "It's not contagious, Ethan. And no, I don't have a girlfriend either."

He grabbed another slice out of the box. "Then what is it?"

"I'm playing roller derby."

He paused with the slice suspended in the air midway to his open mouth. "You're what?"

"The roller-skating sport I told you about."

"Yeah, I got that. And you're not dead?"

I shook my head. "I do have some pretty gnarly bruises though." I pulled up my pants leg and showed off the ones on my shins. "I'll spare you the ones on my hips."

He put his whole plate down and turned toward me. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No. And I'm getting a lot better at it."

"It's dangerous."

"How would you know? You'd never even heard of it before I told you about it."

"I looked it up on YouTube when I got home. I watched a girl snap her leg in half!" He leaned toward me. "In half, Lucy."

All at once, I lost my appetite. "Well, I haven't snapped my leg in half. Or even come close to it. I'm really enjoying myself for the first time in..." I tried to do that math in my head and couldn't. "A really long time. Even Olivia's playing."

Ethan didn't look convinced.

"I've made new friends, and I'm getting out and experiencing the city. It's good for me."

"You got any hot teammates?" he asked, cutting his eyes over at me.

"A few." I should've started with that angle. "Once you experience it in person, you'll get it. I know you will."

"Have you told Dad?" he asked.

My eyes widened, and I shook my head.

"Good. Unless you want him to drive up here and wrap you in bubble wrap."

I shot him a smirk. "Dad doesn't worry that much about me."

"Oh yes he does," Ethan said.

I crossed my arms. "He hardly ever calls to see how I'm doing."

"He thinks you're mad at him."

I was a little mad at our father, but I'd never admit it out loud. Mom was gone, and in a way, so was Dad. As if dealing with the loss of a parent wasn't hard enough, he had abandoned us and gotten himself a brand-new family. One that wasn't freshly heartbroken and scarred. One complete with a grandbaby and endless home-cooked meals.

It was the first anniversary of Mom's death, and he couldn't be bothered to even answer the phone.

Ethan cracked a smile and waved a hand in front of my face. "Is that a therapy topic for another day?"

"Yes." I stood and gestured to his plate. "Are you done?"

He handed it to me.

"Want to hear something funny?" I asked as I walked to the kitchen.

"Please," he begged.

"There's a girl on the roller derby team who's helped me out a lot." I put the plates in the dishwasher. "Guess what her derby name is."

He turned around on the couch and held up his hands. "What?"

"Kraken."

Ethan flopped back on the couch, and the sound of his laughter gave me an idea. I looked at the clock. Derby practice had just started at the Rollers' Sweatshop. It was going to be a shortened Fresh Meat session because the All-Stars were scrimmaging that night to practice for the playoffs.

"Ethan, put on your shoes. We're going out for a while."