Chapter 17 - Wile E. Coyote

After work, I drove to practice, stopping on the way for a fast-food cheeseburger. The moment I lugged my bag inside the practice arena, I was swarmed by Shamrocker, Styx, and Maven, all asking different versions of the same question.

"Where's your friend?"

"Is she coming back to practice?"

"Where's Olivia?"

No, "Hello."

No, "We're so glad you're sticking with it!"

Just, "Where's your superstar friend?"

If I didn't know it before, I knew it then: in the world of Nashville roller derby, I would forever be Jar Jar Binks to Olivia's Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It stung a little, but I steeled my face, strapped on my skates, and stuck my correctly fitted mouthguard into place before skating onto the track for warm-ups. Today will be better, I thought as I rounded the oval. Look how much better you've gotten in just the span of a few days. You've got this, Lucy. You can do it.

Because talking to oneself is a true sign of confidence and good things to come.

A whistle blasted, and I executed a very staccato T-stop, narrowly stopping right before I plowed into the back of the Jolly Green Giant. She turned and cocked an eyebrow. I mouthed the word, "Sorry."

Midnight Maven skated to the center of the track. She was wearing black tights with white stars all over them. "Tonight we're doing our first team warm-up. We will do these before every practice. Most of the time we'll warm up on the track, but always bring a pair of tennis shoes in case we're working off skates. First, we're going to start with a free skate."

My brain flashed back to middle school at the Waynesboro Roller Rink, and *NSYNC flooded my thoughts. I wondered if we'd have a roller-skate limbo contest too.

After a few easy laps around the track—all of which I stayed on my skates for, thank you very much—we started doing squats. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. After only one lap, my thighs revolted and sweat beaded across my forehead. Toe-touches and lunges came next. My thighs screamed, and I wanted to die, but I didn't fall. Then we did "Rocking Horses," rocking from one skate at a time to the next, and I fell four times. We ended the warm-up with an exercise called "Sticky Skates," where we skated laps without picking up our wheels at all.

Shamrocker blew her stupid whistle. "Take two minutes to get water!" she called out.

I collapsed on the floor.

"That was brutal," Jolly Green Giant said, plopping down onto her knee pads next to me.

"And it was only the warm-up," her friend said, joining us.

I glanced over at them. "This is only day two, girls. We're in trouble."

The giant gave me a pointed look. "We're stupid is what we are."

The three of us laughed. "I'm Lucy," I said, unscrewing the cap on my water bottle.

"Grace," the giant said, panting.

The other girl raised her hand. "I'm Monica. Where's your friend?"

"The Stephen Hawking of the skating world?" I asked. "She's at work."

"Is she going to come back?" Grace asked.

I shrugged. "It's a popular question."

Olivia wasn't the only skater missing. Not including the coaches and the few veteran skaters I recognized, I only counted nineteen newbies.

Across the room, Zoey was talking to Styx and Maven. She paused to use her inhaler, but she was laughing.

"Hey, do you guys know Zoey?" I asked, pointing her out.

Monica looked over. "Yeah, she's really sweet."

I nodded. "She is, but I kind of worry about her. Do you know what the deal is? Is she sick?"

Grace shrugged. "I'm not sure. She hasn't said."

The whistle sounded, evoking a collective groan from our group as we all struggled to our feet. I was glad I wasn't the only one. Shamrocker skated out in front of us. "Today, we're working on track movement. In order to block, execute hits, and maneuver around blockers if you're the jammer, you need to be able to quickly move across the track. This includes lateral movement, skating backward, and jumping over obstacles."

My hands flopped against my thighs. "Great. Today I'm going to die."

Beside me, Monica snickered.

"First, just try walking on your skates to the right," Styx said as she demonstrated.

The sound of wheels clacking against the concrete as we all stepped sideways echoed off the walls.

"Now back to the left," Styx said.

We all walked left.

"I feel like we should bust out the Electric Slide," I said.

Grace began humming the song and everyone in earshot laughed.

"Good job. Faster this time!" Styx called out.

We all hopped to the right. It was surprisingly easier than I expected. Then I shifted to come back left, and my skates got tangled and I tripped, taking Monica down with me. My left thigh came down hard on her wheels. "Yeowch!" I screeched.

Monica cringed, for me because she was fine. "You OK?"

"I'm alive," I forced through clenched teeth.

Grace offered me a hand up, then pulled up Monica as well. Everyone was staring, of course.

"All right, again!" Styx shouted.

I stayed on my skates for the rest of that drill and only fell twice during the weaving exercises we did around lines of cones on the floor. But skating backward was a nightmare. Once I finally got my skates moving at all, they flew out from under me each time, like I was part of a live-action Wile E. Coyote reboot. The last time, I stayed down. "I quit," I announced, dropping my hands onto my lap.

"What are you doing, Lucy?" Shamrocker asked, skating over.

"I'm just going to stay here and be one of the obstacles everyone has to skate around or jump over during the hopping drill that's probably coming next."

She smiled and offered me a hand. I stood and dusted off my ass as we skated off the track.

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked.

"I move. I bust my ass. That about sums it up."

"Show me what you're doing," she said.

I sighed and turned around, stepping carefully with my wheels. I pushed off my toe stop, and as soon as all my wheels were on the ground, they slipped forward.

Shamrocker reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me. "Easy fix, Lucy. All you have to do is point your toes in, keep both skates flat on the floor, and move your skates apart. Then bring them back in. Sort of like a figure eight. Watch me." Her skates pushed out and slowly came back together, propelling her backward away from me.

I pointed at her feet. "Oh. I wasn't doing that."

"Try it. Keep all your wheels down, then in and out. In and out."

I pushed my feet apart and magically rolled backward. "Hey! I did it."

She clapped her hands. "Congratulations. Eventually, you'll cross your skates as you go back and even pick up the rear skate for more reach and—Lucy, look out!"

I slammed ass-first into Midnight Maven.

She snarled at me before pushing me off her.

Shamrocker doubled over laughing.

"I—I'm sorry, Maven," I said before skating away.

"That was hilarious," Shamrocker said when I reached her. "But you did well. Keep practicing."

I smiled, my cheeks still hot with humiliation. "Thank you."

The rest of practice couldn't have gotten much worse, and thankfully, it didn't. I was terrible at jumping. No surprise there. But I was getting better at popping back up quickly. Styx said that was a good thing. I suspected she might be stretching for a compliment, but whatever the reason, I appreciated the encouragement.

"We'll see you Wednesday?" she asked, lifting her brow and pointing at me.

I smiled and pulled off my helmet. "I'll be here."

"Good. And tell your friend we want to see her too."

"I promise, I will."

***


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